There is No Epic Loot Here, Only Puns

56: Birds, Mushrooms, & Taxes

A boss room with no boss was like Delta with no mana or DP.

Helpful in spirit, but as useful as a noisy wind.

"So that is bee number 32 that has declined the job offer. Maybe I should ask the trees next?" Delta muttered as the regretful red bee went back to its task of investigating a flower for the queen.

She was glad Nu decided to wander off to do his own thing. Having his flat stare at her back as she kept asking for a monster to be a boss became a little hard to ignore. Delta knew that she could just create a monster to be the boss, give the new creature a task for life but it felt...

Unfair.

She had no doubt the monster would gladly accept the offer, but the choice wasn't a fair one. It was like a fresh newborn latching on to the task like a mother. It didn't know anything else to compare it to. Even with Rale and Devina's knowledge being added to the 'creation pool' for the frogs... it didn't mean the next frog monster would understand what it was accepting.

To Delta, it was no better than straight up creating and chaining a monster to the room to make her job easier. The fact the monster might never grow upset, or might even be happy with the job for all of time, wasn't even something she cared to think of.

Their ignorance didn't excuse Delta's immoral choices in her own head.

It only really left Delta with a few options. One was simply to not have a boss; Delta discarded that idea immediately. She was optimistic with visitors, not idiotic.

Grim only got so far because Sis left the door unlocked... not something that would happen again!

The other option was to look for alternatives and hope one of them stuck as a boss. If the room eventually offered her a chance to spin the wheel to spawn a boss, Delta would turn it down. After Bob, it was just better for her peace of mind not to gamble for a while.

Bob was nice, but he still looked like something crawled out of the Devil's basement and gave old Scratch a shock on the way out.

Delta walked down and into the river, whistling as she plotted. Looking at her menu, she could see her 78 DP was cheerfully waiting for a chance to be spent. Her 84 mana was maxed out, the boss room giving her that extra 5 mana limit.

Honestly she should make as many rooms as possible to get the most out of the system, but after digging her way into Renny's circus Delta was just going to take things one step at a time.

The river rushed overhead and Delta stretched as the slightly warm water flowed through her, tickling her body a little.

"More monsters, more rooms, more ideas. Easy enough. I cause enough trouble by accident, I'm sure I can rustle something up when I put my mind to it," Delta smiled to herself as she floated and let the water carry her downstream.

Delta flew up and stood above the river a moment later, face focused as she pulled up the menu again.

"Waterfall, river, beehive, circus, hotspring, frog lair, entrance, empty boss room, and resting area behind the waterfall. I have options, I just need to tie them altogether. The boss is going to be the key to this," Delta said aloud. She paced back and forward as she let ideas and thoughts flow.

"The room is big; it was meant to tire people out originally, and I can use it like that as well, but I can also see another use. It makes people travel and search for things in the jungle. Maybe I could tie the boss, in a way, to the things in the jungle. I doubt I could make a rule that would prevent anyone accessing the boss without the right items, not just now anyway... but not everyone that will come to my dungeon might want to fight the boss," Delta slowed as she latched onto that thought.

"A lot of people want the resources, like Mrs Dabberghast. She liked the plants so... what if the boss could also be passed if the person explored thoroughly enough and worked for the items in each area? A scavenger hunt?" Delta tested the words and they seem to strike something.

Delta felt so pleased with her usually chaotic thought process that she decided to let it go wild.

"Can't kill the monsters for the parts; they have to be earned. Stop the usual glory hounds or Grim-like folk. Makes them spend more time on the floor, which means more items for me and more mana! So I need to make each area valuable and have a unique item held by each area's 'boss'!" Delta almost felt like fist pumping as the dots just lined up in her head.

"I just need a boss!" she declared and then froze.

Delta deflated as the original issue flashed back into her head.

"You look troubled."

Delta screeched and almost toppled back into the river as Devina's voice called to her from behind.

Delta spun with a glare at the pleasantly calm Devina.

"You do that on purpose!" she accused and Devina tilted her face.

"I have no idea what you mean, Mother. I would never upset you, even if you did happen to create a most evil creature," Devina replied, her calm tone never changing. Delta blinked in response.

"I... did?" she replied slowly in confusion. Devina's face pinched around her eyes.

"The orange menace," Devina added a little too quickly, betraying her facade. The words made Delta perk up.

"Delbird!" she exclaimed with joy; then, as if summoned, a flash of orange appeared. The bird in question chirped as it landed on Devina's head.

"Make it stop," Devina requested with a strained voice that caused Delta to stare at her.

"Stop?" she echoed as the bird preened. The frog woman closed her eyes.

"The bird is the most foul-"

"The fowlest!" Delbird chimed in, but Devina kept talking as if the bird didn't exist.

"-thing in this jungle. It refuses to leave me alone!" Devina complained loudly. Delta had never seen the woman so unlike herself.

"It must like you! I mean, every wise person has a flying familiar of some kind! Even Merlin has his owl!" Delta reminded with a smile on her face. Devina nodded furiously.

"This 'Merlin' sounds correct. I would like to trade this pest for an owl please!" she requested. Delbird tilted his head.

"Get rid of me? For an owl? Hoot do you think you are?" Delbird demanded loudly and this made Devina scream as she swatted at the bird, which flapped out of reach. Delta stuffed her fist in her mouth as she felt a gale of giggles rise up at their antics.

It was then that Rale pulled himself from the river, his lean body looking far more toned than Delta remembered from yesterday.

"I heard someone here! Greetings Mother! Hello Dev!" Rale smiled easily at the frozen Devina. Delta waved, but could only watch as Rale moved closer to Devina. Delbird landed back on Devina's head and stared at Rale.

"Don't you dare..." Devina hissed. Delbird hesitated at the threat, then puffed his chest out in defiance.

"Hello!" he greeted and Rale's eyes seemed to sparkle at the sight of a talking bird.

"Devina, your bird talks like a person!" Rale laughed as he crossed his thick arms. Delbird narrowed his little beady eyes.

"Look Devina! The frog skipped brain day!" he fired back. Devina reached up and held the bird's beak shut tight with one hand.

"Did you forget what I can do? The hunting you down with spirits of the jungle?" she asked deathly calm. Delbird pulled his beak free.

"I guess... I did froget!" he answered. Delta had to walk into the river for a moment to excuse herself as choked laughter began to escape.

Rale's boisterous laugh was unashamed in its volume.

"Devina, you have great tastes! Your bird is funny!" Rale grinned. Delta peered out of the water, enjoying the scene. She blinked at the most unexpectedly high pitched giggle that left the woman's mouth.

"Ah... yes! My...bird. I too really like his jokes. You're welcome to come hear more anytime!" Devina offered, her posture turning a little shy. Delbird squawked in alarm at her tone, but Devina shoved him into one of the pouches she had made.

"I have to go! Feed my bird and do...things!" Devina backed away as Rale tried to come closer, still dropping water down his greenish skin.

"I will come find you soon Dev! May I ask what your bird's name is?" Rale called and before Devina could speak, Delbird's voice broke free of the pouch.

"INCHY!"

Delta frowned but decided the bird was allowed to choose its own name.

"Dev and Inchy! I like it, I must go now. Never know when someone might need my help!" Rale waved and bowed to Delta before he vanished back into the water.

Delta's mind had frozen, so she didn't actually give him a proper farewell. Rale's words just replayed over and over in her head.

Dev and Inchy.

Dev and Inchy.

The bird had just topped anything Delta had done. It had sacrificed its own name to make a joke.

Delta needed to evolve that bird as soon as possible. One way or another.

"Menu... bring up monsters and available rooms for the second floor," Delta requested with a grin.