There is No Epic Loot Here, Only Puns

117: The Buzz about Shrooms

Without a bridge, the group had to decide whether to backtrack to where the river was narrower. Vas had suggested tearing down one of the trees to make their own bridge but both Kemy and Deo refused.

"That's just rude!" Kemy gasped.

"THE TREES DIDN'T HURT ANYONE!" Deo frowned.

Poppy just pointed to the overhanging branches.

"Then we can just swing on the vines, nyeh," she muttered. Everyone followed her finger to the thin green vines dangling above the river. Without the bridge, the gap really did seem huge, but one by one, everyone began to grin.

Except Kemy.

"In other Dungeons... they'd be snakes, trap chains, curling vine grabbers, too flimsy-" she listed quickly with her hands waving in panic. She brushed down her cloudy robe where her legs were just visible.

"Delta wouldn't do that. She'd have it if you swing the vines in a certain way, they produce a musical note then a song and it rains rainbows or something," Amenster snorted. Grim grumbled. He swept his gaze out into the jungle.

"Or summon mimes," he gritted out.

From the shadows, unseen, Devina's chuckling could be heard.

"NO TIME TO WASTE! ADVENTURE FORTH!" Deo proclaimed and began to scramble up a tree like some crab monkey. Kemy's nervousness grew, but before she could do much, a vine lowered within reach of her.

She blinked and saw no one else had gotten this reaction.

"We respect people and their modesty in this Dungeon," Devina said calmly as she came to help Kemy tie the vine around her arm in a tight knot.

"O-oh," Kemy stuttered, going pink as the vine began to carry her across as if she were no heavier than the cloud her robe suggested. She touched down as the the rest of the group grabbed their own vines and were crossing the space.

"WAHOO!"

"For glory!"

"Thank you for the ride, jungle vine."

"I'm too edgy to enjoy this more than a little."

"Excited noises, nyeh."

Kemy covered her mouth as a smile burst forth. This group was simply too bizarre to be real at times.

---

Delta raised her hands high in the air.

"IT LIVES!" she howled into the abyss of between floors. Nu was behind her.

What have we become?

Delta gave him a hard look.

"Hard Dungeons making hard choices! We need this evil to protect those we love!" she reminded as the monster in front of them rose.

The beast was about a foot in height. The mushroom cap looked soft and pink with four little stubby legs that made it snuffle about with a large pig snout at the front. It sniffed then a little mouth with twin buck teeth opened under the snout to eat a random experimental herb.

Delta felt... just a little... that the thing wasn't exactly... 'terrifying' in conventional views.

But its menu description would breed terror into all people!

Pigglecap: A harmless mobile mushroom that wanders about consuming any discarded trash or items. When fed directly by someone, it oinks a song of thanks. This is a critter.

How do you go out to make something dangerous and do the complete opposite?!

Nu's box jingled in disbelief and Delta sagged in failure.

"I don't know! I thought Mushroom and Pigs would give me... screaming green spore bois or something," she admitted. Then she perked up.

"I didn't check its upgrades!" she said excitedly and brought the menu up quickly.

Pigglecap: Critter
Give it rosy cheeks. 1 DP
Add a curly tail. 1 DP
Make it toot after eating too much. Sounds cute. 1 DP
Make it ticklish. 1 DP

Actually, this is turning out to be quite funny. Make something else.

Delta glared at Nu with a scrunched up expression.

"I'm a dangerous Dungeon!" she warned before she purchased all the upgrades and the Pigglecap grew even cuter. Delta had to admit she kinda loved it.

Nu brought up the crossbreeding aspect and pre-selected 'Blood Curdler'.

Now, if my experience is correct, you just need to hit that big shiny button that is labelled 'random' and we should have a dangerous weapon.

"It's the undead, they don't have blood," Delta reminded and changed it to 'Starlight'. Her finger hovered over the random button but then she withdrew it. Gacha was a bad habit, but in this case? When she was told to push it?

Delta didn't want to.