In the night

{ Chapter 13 }

Jay was weak, mentally. That was something he wouldn't deny but not something he would show either. The 15 year old Jay knew how weak he was and, knowing how weak he was made him sick. He aspired to be a strong person, whom, wouldn't break or fall down easily. The person who would be able to withstand everything that was thrown at him. And so he did. 

Pushing all his emotions aside, he began to live like a rock. Not bugging a inch and constantly being cold, so that the precious layer of his heart won't get hurt. And it resulted in him feeling empty as fuck from the inside. A big void which is gonna stay empty for a long time. Forever he had visioned. Yet seeing how a girl whom he had just met, change something in him was new and felt good. 

There had always been those underlying thoughts, though. Whether she would leave him just like others did when they found out how cold he can get. When they find out that he doesn't really explain his problems and just let it get into his head. When he feels scared to ask for stuff which need to be basic necessities which others can do in a heartbeat, yet he falls behind. His insecurities and flaws formed a small cloud of themselves, threating to break lose any moment. But he managed to push them away, somehow. And usually it isn't the case but this time, he could feel the power to push those thoughts away. He had been able to push them deep inside and not worry about the fact that she might leave him, just like many others did. 

Something in him believed she wasn't gonna be one, like them. That, she was different. 

Nevertheless all that being said and the trust he had managed to build up, all of it had somehow came crashing down the moment he had heard the words which flew out of the mouth, of the person who stood in front of him. He could feel his heart break slightly for a unknown reason. 

She wasn't gonna stay anyway. 

She had come to stay only for one night. Just one. 

He had to remind himself, yet his heart broke more. He never believed in love at first sight yet these 48 hours were enough to prove him wrong. Collecting himself, he tried to sound as firm as possible. 

' They have a room for you' He spoke as he looked down at his feet. He couldn't face her. Not in this moment. It almost was a given fact that she had thoroughly broken down all his walls that he had build up and had somehow managed to touch a spot he had kept away from this world. 

He could hear the soft rumbling of the sofa before he felt her presence beside him, yet his gazed stayed down. He had kept his mind on repeat mode. 

It's gonna be fine.

It's gonna be fine. 

It's gonna be fine. 

' I don't need the room.' She had replied. 

His eyes shot up. Maybe it was the cold AC which was directly hitting his eyes or the weird emotion of relief which shot down his spine, had taken his breath away. It was as if his body had took a complete pause and its stuck now. And soon enough it was only the two of them again. 

He locks the door, turning around. His whole body felt weak and shitty and all he wanted to do right now was to lay on the bench near the beach while mother nature comforted him. He didn't want to face her at this moment. Especially knowing that she was waiting for a answer, scared him. And so he followed what his heart and body needed. However, what he didn't expect was that a pair of arms would wrap themselves around his arms, giving him a side hug. Air went flying out of his lungs. He didn't gasp yet slowly he could feel his breathing come to a stop. 

' The moon has phases you know?. . .  The first day, it shows up as a small line, and then slowly it finds confidence and on the last day it shines in all glory, before it disappears again. Poof! It's like it has lost all of it's confidence and bam! It's back into hiding. And it takes a day or two, to recover. And it slowly starts out again. It repeats the process again and again, yet it doesn't completely go into hiding. Excuse you, but sometimes it even shines strong for two day's straight before it disappears! I find that so cool you know?' 

Jay listened, feeling his heart beat so wild yet so calmingly. The emotions felt familiar, like what he felt in the beach.  And it did calm him down. Just like how mother nature did. 

' But what's more. . . well you could say crazy, is the fact that when I saw you, the first time, You were walking out of your car and you were holding this skeleton and. . . the first thought that ran through my mind was how you and that skeleton had no difference whatsoever' A snort left his mouth at how she compared him and the skeleton, but he found no lie detected. He indeed was empty inside. 

'Call me crazy or whatever but I oddly see right through people. And that day, my first impression was that you are a person, with a big, huge, heart. yet it's empty inside. It has a void so big which needs to be filled to make you into a normal person. A small voice inside of my head had whispered, how she bet there were small monsters and voices in you head which torment you all the time. But what threw me off was the fact that, you were so broken and empty, but you showed no signs of. . .  if I need to be honest, nothing. You didn't smile, no happiness. You never cried, no sadness. No anger, cause never once did I hear you shout or speak in a irritating tone'

She kept on talking, not bothering to let him speak or think. She didn't speak too fast. She spoke in a way she was sure her message would go through to him. It was like this urgency to make her words be know and she choose to let them be known in a side hug. Well the side hug wasn't planned at all, yet when she saw that he was about to walk away, the only thing which ran through her mind was to run and stop him and well that ended with a hug. She would call it a stupid decision made in the spur of the moment. Nevertheless she was glad she didn't get punched or smacked cause of the sudden hug. Stopping for a moment she decided to check if he was fine and while she was making sure he was fine, the boy whom she held, decided to open his eyes. Quickly closing her eyes and crunching down she begins to speak again out of nervousness. Her heart skipped a beat there. 

Jay felt the grip of her hands tightening at the mini eye contact they had made. A ghost smile arose on his face.