SURRENDER - Mafia Romance

• CHAPTER 49 •

I sat there, hunched over, her tear-stained face buried in trembling hands. Hugged by the tall walls of the room, bathed in the soft darkness.

He died. Because of me. He died trying to save me. I heard chattering and shut my eyes, wanting to just disappear. It was the day of his funeral and I refused to join. I refused to sit there, with the people who pretended to love him. I refused to be walk in his funeral knowing that if it wasn't for me, he would still be there with us.

The door knocked and again, I didn't answer. I didn't want to see or talk to anyone. I barely ate, barely slept and haven't said a word in days. But when I heard her voice, I finally looked at the door.

"Talia," Yuna softly called, sadness so clear in her voice, "it's me."

I quickly got up and walked over to the door, when I opened it, I met her eyes. Not being able to catch my tears anymore, we both threw each other in each other's arms and let out our heavy tears.

I saw him, Ace stood beside her and I knew just then that he told her to come. He knew she would be the only person I would open the door for. And he wasn't wrong. I gave him a small smile, thanking him for bringing her. He closed his eyes, softly nodding, silently telling me "you're welcome."

I closed the door behind her and we walked to sit on my bed.

"How are you doing?" I finally talked and my voice was unable to hide my pain. It was hoarse, low and raspy, showing that I, myself, wasn't good.

She nodded, trying to find the words to tell me she was okay but when her eyes met mine, I knew she was going to lie. So she didn't, "I am not okay." She took a deep breath, trying to not cry again. "I was glad we were finally on good terms." She shook her head, "you know, this is the reason I was keeping myself away. For this absolute reason. I knew his– lifestyle wasn't safe. For me and for him. I knew it was full of pain and blood and shit I didn't want to be a part of. I kept myself away from this pain for years. Then when you came and told me to listen to him, I realized that I missed him. I was still scared but I was willing to get over my fear to have him around me. I didn't know he was going to die so soon. I just–" her voice cracked and her eyes got watery again, "I was just getting happy having him around me again."

I opened my arms for her, hugging her tight, knowing that I created this. If I had stayed at home, he wouldn't have died. If I shut my mouth up and hurried upstairs, I wouldn't have been there and Pablo wouldn't have seen me. If I stayed away from Joe after leaving Ace, he wouldn't have cared as much that I a gun was pointed at my head. It was all mu fault and I couldn't do anything to make it better, nor talk about it with her.

A few minutes later, she was asking about me and I had nothing to tell her.

"What about work? Ace told me it's been a week you didn't go."

"Yeah," I sniffed, "if it wasn't for Ace, I would have been fired for all the days I missed. He somehow told me that he took Rob's permission for an opened vacation until I feel better."

"You should go back, Tal," the nickname gave me butterflies. I had to close my eyes for a few seconds to bring my heart to its normal rhythm.

"I know." I simply said, "I want to go back home, though. Being here hurts. I don't want to sit anyone or be with anyone."

She nodded, "I will talk to Ace."

I looked at her.

"You should too." She added.

I gulped. "There is nothing to talk about," I said, knowing exactly what she meant.

"I know what he did is horrible, I understand. But you love him, Tal, you know you do."