In The Mountains (Tennessee and Paxton)

Tennessee's story

* Tennessee's story. *

As Tennessee maneuvered the truck toward the gravel road, he spoke in low tones. Paxton thought he seemed a million miles away, lost in past that he'd not talked about for a long time. Paxton understood that. He felt that way whenever he spoke about his family.

"Dean and I went to school together. Cletus had a big-time job in the city, and he kept Dean and his wife Melany way out here. He said it was safer fer them, and that's how I met Dean. At first, I ain't know I was gay, but over time, I kinda figured it out. Man, I had a huge crush on Dean. I thought the sun rose and set on him."

"Did you tell him?" Paxton asked.

"I got up the courage our senior year of high school." Tennessee shook his head. "It took me a while to accept who I was."

"I take it that it didn't go well." Paxton assumed that was the reason Tennessee was still a virgin.

"It went pretty well." A sad smile played on his lips. "Dean wanted to explore with me. He said he wasn't sure what he was. We made out a little, and then we made out a lot. I liked kissin' him, and I was just so damn happy that he was even lookin' at me. I ain't know, I guess I thought I loved him, but the more I spend time with ya, the more I realize I'm not sure I knew Dean at all. I'm not sure I knew what love was either."

"Then what happened?" Paxton asked cautiously when the silence stretched on.

"Dean and Melany died in a boatin' accident on the lake near here. I was young, and I was crushed. I thought my life was over too." Tennessee shook his head as he drove. "I ain't date after that. I thought folks only get one true love, and mine was dead."

"I get it." Paxton frowned and he wondered if Tennessee was still carrying a torch for Dean. That might be the real reason he didn't want to do more with Paxton. Oddly, if that were the case, Paxton would accept it. He wouldn't fight a ghost. "I'm sorry, Tennessee."

"It's alright, cowboy. I got over Dean's death eventually, and I even told Cletus that I loved his son."

"Really?" Paxton tried to imagine Cletus accepting that his only son was gay. Actually, after all this time with Cletus, he could see the man taking the news with grace.

"Cletus knew, I reckon. He ain't as prejudiced as ya might think. He understood." Tennessee shrugged. After a second, he tossed a glance at Paxton. "After I got over Dean and I was ready to move on, other things kinda stopped me from seein' someone."

"Other things? Like?"

"My parents got a divorce, and my brother moved out to join the Navy."

"Okay." Paxton nodded and tried to figure out how that played into Tennessee's sex life. "I take it that you stayed home?"

"After I told Cletus I was gay and I had loved Dean, I was on a roll." Tennessee laughed bitterly. "I told my parents too. Cletus took it good, so I thought they would as well. Boy-howdy was I wrong. My dad was madder than a hornet. He blamed the divorce on me. Said I was a disgrace to the family and left. My brother didn't know what to do, and he shipped out."

"Ouch." Paxton winced. That sounded familiar.

"Momma didn't feel that way 'bout me, though. She loved me no matter what." Tennessee paused. "And then six months later," Tennessee swallowed hard. "She got diagnosed with cancer."

"I'm so sorry." Paxton shook his head slowly. He was starting to see very clearly why Tennessee didn't date. First, his dad put guilt on him for being gay, and then he helped his mom. Caring for a sick parent wouldn't leave any time for meeting up with men. "You stayed home to help your mom."

"I was the only one left to help her." Tennessee nodded. "After my brother left, I was the only one around, and so I stayed in this here town and took care of her." Tennessee was silent for a moment as he turned onto another gravel road. "As ya can see, there ain't a lot of gay men in this town to date. I only know three."

Paxton nodded. He also assumed that if men around here were gay, they were probably keeping their sexuality to themselves.

"If your mom was okay with you," Paxton's brow wrinkled. "Why didn't you go to the city for a hookup. You could have left for a night."

"I thought 'bout it, but at first, I ain't wanna leave her and then... welp, I ain't have the money. Ya see, there was this here fire. Our trailer burned down. I had to put momma in a nursin' home fer extra care, and I ain't have nothin' fer a while."

"Oh my God, Tennessee." Paxton reached across the small space of the cab and took his hand. Tennessee let go of the steering wheel, and their fingers intertwined.

"It was faulty wirin' in my battery charger fer my drill. It happens. After gettin' the insurance money, Cletus had me start the garage with him to have a steady paycheck. I took care of my momma up to two years ago and used the money to help her. We have been buildin' our business." Tennessee pulled up to the house and parked. "And in that time, I built this place fer Momma because I always hoped she'd get better and come home." Tennessee gazed at the house. "She never did come home again."

"You built this for your mother?" Suddenly, Paxton had a whole new appreciation for the cabin and Tennessee. He also recalled Gunner saying it was long enough. He agreed that it was time for Tennessee to have something good in his life. Paxton didn't know if he was that good thing, but he wanted Tennessee to have joy and happiness... and hot wet wild sex.

"Yeah." Tennessee got out of the truck. "So that's it. I'm twenty-five, and kissin' a boy is as far as I've gone... except when I was in the truck with ya." Tennessee closed the truck door and headed toward the house.

Paxton got out of the truck and followed Tennessee up to the porch. At the steps, Tennessee stopped, and their eyes met.

"After Momma died, I ain't know, I stayed here, and I worked to build the business with Cletus. I've thought 'bout bein' with someone, but now I'm awkward, and I didn't wanna be havin' this conversation with anyone." Tennessee rolled his eyes. "I guess I was afraid, and I ain't into havin' some one-night stand with someone who'd rush me or—"

"Make fun of you or call it a joke." Paxton rubbed his forehead. "I'm such a fuck-up."

"Yer reaction was what I expected." Tennessee sat on the giant porch swing and folded his arms over his chest. "Welp, now ya know. I don't know what to do with ya. I knew that ya'd know that I wasn't experienced if we ever went further than kissin'. I'm sure you've done it all."

"There is one thing I've never done." Paxton sat next to Tennessee on the swing and pushed, so they swung back and forth. "It would be my first."

"Yer first?" Tennessee shot him a quick side look that clearly said he didn't believe him. "Why do I think yer just tryin' to make me feel better?"

"I've never gotten a blowjob. No one has ever offered me one."

"No one has sucked you off?" Tennessee's eyes widened. "No one?"

"I was paid for the services I would provide, and no one wanted to do that to me, so I wouldn't know if you did it right or wrong. I mean unless you bite."

"Welp now." A grin spread on Tennessee's and then turned to face him fully. "I can work with that." Still grinning, Tennessee slipped off the porch swing and knelt in front of Paxton.

*** Thanks for reading! ~authorcmmoore.com~