𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 || baxter radic

50.

The answer was actually quite simple. My response though, that was not. I had to methodically answer his question. Because the answer was that I didn't want him seeing other people. It hurt. But just because I didn't want him seeing other people, didn't mean that it was fair to tell him that. I didn't want him seeing other people, but I also couldn't see him. We were to not be an 'us', of any kind, for at least six months, if not more than a year.

"I can't stop you from seeing other people." I slip my hands from my pocket and reach for him. But quickly retract them when I see his hands reaching back. I couldn't touch him, no matter how badly I wanted to. "If you want to be with other people you have all right to."

I finally look up at him. And the moment I do, tears are pinging in the corner of my eyes and it takes everything out of me to not let them fall.

"You didn't answer the question." He assures me that I did indeed try and avoid answering the question. He was still witty. I should have known that I wasn't getting out of this that easily.

"I want whatever you want for yourself." I nod my head, but I shouldn't have because a tear slides. It trickles down my cheek leaving a little wet salty trail in its wake.

Red tints my cheeks. It's travels up to my ears. My focus is everywhere on his face except his eyes. I'm a telltale liar. I'm not just a white one anymore. I'm lying to save his heart. I was protecting him instead of myself. It was day one, and I was already failing the most important task I was given which was to put myself first.

"You're lying." He reaches out and touches against my cheek before reaching up and running his thumb along the top of my ear. The first touch. The first touch and all of me is screaming for it to last into eternity.

"Fine." I pull my head away from his touch and a fallen expression waves over his features. "I don't want you seeing other people. But we also can't be something. So please, for your own sake, see other people. You shouldn't wait around hoping that one day I'll come around because that isn't guaranteed Bax."

The bluntness of my words have him taken aback. He spins away from me, his feet now walking back and forth against the gravel surface below us. I've just sucker punched him. He's taken yet another blow. But I tried to stop it, he just won't give up. He's stubborn beyond belief. And that's why I love him.

"Why would I be with someone else when the girl that I love is right here?" He fights me back with the one thing I've always deep down believed to be true. Even if my mind tricked me into thinking that it was not.

"Because the girl that you love will lose herself in you. She will forgo all the progress she's made over the past few months just to make sure you are the center of her world. She's been alone with you for less than ten minutes and has already put you first half a dozen times." I admit all my wrong doings in such a short amount of time. It wasn't his fault. It truly wasn't his fault.

"I'll work on myself too." He closes the distance between us—racing over to me as he speaks. He's so close I can feel his breath on my skin. I can smell his scent. I can feel the heat of his love pouring over me.

"You're making me want to kiss you Bax." My heart thumps against the inside of my chest. My throat has become dry. I feel like I can barely breathe as I say a confession without any thought.

"Don't." He takes a step back and I swear I want to scream. I want him back. I want his body close to mine. This was the worst possible thing I could have done for myself. I shouldn't have let myself slip so easily. I thought I was better. But I guess that's why they say the first day back to normal is the hardest.

"You saying that doesn't help." I look up at him. My eyes finally locking to his. I feel my lower lip quiver. I'm molding into a ball of mess every second I'm alone with him.

"Walk your fine ass back into that house. Do whatever they taught you to do while you were away. And I'll stay away until you tell me it's okay." Bax motions toward the front door of my house just as Summer starts to approach the driveway.

"You two have no self-control when it comes to each other." Summer chuckles, dropping a bag of takeout into my hands. "At least give him a goodbye kiss Belle. Then I'm banishing you both from seeing each other."

Summer sternly watches us, hands on her hips. I needed someone to hold me accountable. I felt like Summer would be able to do that. Honestly, I knew that she could. She's stubborner than Bax. She always gets her way. I trusted her to keep me—us—accountable for our actions.

Neither Bax or I move toward each other. We kind of just stare at each other, taking a moment to let all this settle in. This could be the last moment like this ever. We didn't know what the future had in store. We didn't know what the future brought. This moment could be our last and I think we both wanted this moment to drag out for as long as is possibly could.

"Any time now." Summer ushers us on.

"If you want to watch us kiss, you didn't have to plot a whole dinner date with your boyfriend just so you could arrive at the exact moment I'm about to leave." Bax throws sass at Summer. And god, I didn't realize how much I missed this banter.

"Oh I don't want to watch, but I'm afraid if I don't someone will cop a feel and the whole neighbor will hear you two fucking. When someone here isn't even supposed to be talking to you alone. So kiss before the option is off the table." Summer smiles widely at us.

I chuckle a little as Bax steps toward me. I feel nervous. Almost like it's my first kiss all over again. Not just my first kiss with him, my first kiss ever. My palms are sweaty; my cheeks are pink. I'm like an anxious giddy school girl. Blah, let this moment last in my memory forever.

"Can I kiss you Maybelle?" Bax cups my face in his hands. As he asks his face closes the distance between us. My eyes are jumping between his and his lips and I've never been more sure of what I want to do.

I nod my head slightly and his lips crash into mine. It's not forceful or aggressive. It's actually quite soft and delicate. Like if he is too much he'll shatter me and never get the chance again.

As quickly as it starts, it ends. The kiss has begun, and it has ended. And now I'm left with the sensation on my lips as I watch him walk away. He doesn't turn around for one final glance. He kisses me and then he's gone.

And just like that the flood gates have opened. All the deep love I've ever felt rushes out of me. His love has overflowed my dam. I should have known that no matter what happened, Bax would always wait for me. He would always come back. He'd drop everything for the only person he's ever loved. Sometimes it was okay to give someone your all. As long as they gave their all back to you. And I was sure that Bax and I equally gave.

One day we'd find our way back to each other.