𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 || baxter radic

54.

Summer reaches out and places her hand softly on my shoulder. Even she knows the answer. Everyone's going to try and play the comfort game, let me down softly. I don't want that. I don't need to be treated like a baby. I'm nearly an adult. I can handle the answer, even if it stings.

"Sure." The choice of word is a bit odd. The weird choice must pull an expression to my face because Bax goes on to explain him. "I still hung out with girls, but I didn't kiss them. I didn't do much more then take them out on 'dates'." His use of air quotes doesn't soften the blow like he expects it to. They were dates, just call them dates.

"Can you give me a second?" I clear my throat as I stand to walk away from the table.

Before I even have a chance to take a step, Bax's hand is grazing against the skin on my wrist. It's like electricity jolts through my body, my eyes pinging to the contact instantly. It freezes me, doesn't allow me to take my initial step.

"Go ahead Belle, we won't leave without you." Summer's words force my feet to move. I quickly run toward the front door and as I step outside a rush of cool fresh air fills my lungs.

"Maybelle..." I hear the trod of his footsteps on the gravel before my name even falls past his lips. He's chases me out, not even giving me half a second to myself. I know he's had to beg Summer and Ari to let him chase after me. That means the only conclusion is he's sprinted the short distance to stop me from my downfall.

"I went on dates not because I don't love you, because I do. God do I love you." I look at him as he confesses his love for me. I can tell he means his words. There's not a single sign of a lie on any inch of his face. He might not be as obvious as I am when it comes to my lying, but I've learned how to read him like a book. "I went to distract myself. Maybe even selfishly I did it to make you jealous. I don't even know at this point. My heart is just sad without you. So I'm doing whatever I can to just... hold myself together."

Real pain aches in his skin. I reach out and run my thumb along his cheek. "Just because it hurts me to hear you say you went on dates. Doesn't mean that you need to explain yourself Baxter. We aren't together. I told you to see other people. The pain I feel isn't because I'm upset with you. I'm upset that this is how things have to be."

"I should have just waited though. Like why? Why couldn't I just wait? Then I wouldn't have to see your pretty little face break." He steps closer to me, his hands copying the action of mine, cupping my face in his palms.

I smile at his choice of words. "You've never been good at self-control." I tease him, and it earns me a small smile in response.

"I'm learning." He admits. And he had been learning. He was slowly proving that to me by not showing up at my window at any hour of the night... or day. But using distraction tactics like other people, wasn't the healthiest decision. I wish he'd seek actual help for healthy coping mechanisms, but boys will be boys.

"We'll call it that." I chuckle and nudge my face into his palm. "Can I confess something?"

"Oh no." Bax's face fades into worry. "I don't know if I want to know."

"I knew asking that question would upset me. I also knew that walking out meant you'd chase after me. I also knew that Summer would let you because it's what I would want you to do. So maybe I've let a little manipulation work in my favor here, but I promise it's not me slipping into bad habits again. I just... I wanted to do this." I press my lips softly against his.

Bax deepens the kiss, sliding his arms around my waist, tugging me as close to him as he possibly can. We don't stop until we both need to come up for air. Ending the kiss by resting our foreheads against one another. "You can never fully take someone's bad side away, can you?" He chuckles.

"I'm only bad when it comes to my love for you. I just need to make sure I catch myself before I let you consume me. I don't think a kiss will fuck me up too much." I place another soft kiss to his lips. It's only a short peck, just enough time for a quick pause before I speak again. "I don't even know what I'm saying anymore, all I know is I was given the go ahead to do whatever I wanted with you and I'm letting myself do that now."

"Whatever you wanted?" Bax raises his brows, as if to challenge me to push this further.

"Oh god, not again." Summer groans, pushing her hands between us and separating the two of us. "You just played me, didn't you? Damn it Belle. I should have known." She groans, dropping her head back which conveniently ends up knocking into Ari's chest. When one arrives, the other quickly follows.

"My therapist said I can do what I want with Bax now Summer. I just, I promise I will be okay. If I'm not, I'll come to you now. If I feel like I can't go to you I'll tell her. I won't slip again." That's what every person with a mental problem always says. It won't happen again. It inevitable always does. But I was good for now and that's what mattered.

"I want to make out with my boyfriend." The word slips before I even have a chance to stop it. My face instantly flushes pink. I don't even attempt to stumble over my words and fix my mistake. Instead I just let my statement settle in the heavy tension starting to build.

Someone. Anyone. Say something.

"Boyfriend huh?" Bax wraps his arms over my shoulders, pulling my back tightly against his chest. Summer doesn't stop him either. Instead she just stares at the two of us, contemplating if she should let us be.

"I—" I clear my throat not having any words to follow up his questioning comment.

"Well the boyfriend also really wants to make out with his girlfriend, so if you don't mind." Bax reaches out and tries to cover Summer's eyes all while making small pecks against my cheek.

It makes Summer squeal. It has me giggling and squirming in his arms. And I even hear a barely audible laughter fall past Ari's lips.

"Okay, okay!" Summer exclaims. "I'll stop being over barring. But if you as much as so make Belle cry I'll rip every single hair on your body out one by one. Don't think I won't either, ask May, I've threatened her with a very similar consequence that she's failed."

"I try to forget that memory. I've over written that with some other memory. It's too traumatic to live through again. I've replaced the memory with rainbows and butterflies. I do not recommend getting your leg hairs ripped out one by one." I glance over my shoulder at Bax who has a horrified look on his face.

"Duly noted." He nods his head.

I wasn't particularly approved to step into a relationship. I didn't mean for it to happen. Then again, does anyone mean to fall in love? But it's where the night ended up. Summer let me fly from the coop. She let me run off with Baxter to enjoy whatever it was Bax had up his sleeve. And I don't see her until the next morning when I'm a little too tired, and a little too grumpy to take my morning therapy call.