𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 || baxter radic

68.

As much as I wish for this moment to last a lifetime, there's someone else in the picture. I place my hands hesitantly against his chest and push him off of me. Despite both of our rapidly racing hearts and irregular rising and falling chests, this needed to stop here. It wasn't fair to the man who stepped in when Bax stepped out. Sure, he was a dick sometimes, but he was there when I needed it. No matter how much I want this... I can't risk hurting another person who changed me for the better.

"You really should go Bax, your sister is waiting." I motion toward the car and Bax's face drops. It's almost like I've reached my hand into his chest and ripped his heart out with my bare hands.

"You really want me to go?" His eyebrows are fighting the urge to drop. His features are starting to tremble. He is without a doubt fighting the urge to sob in front of me. But that doesn't change my answer.

I simply nod my head and he turns without grabbing his things and jumps into the driver's seat of the car. I feel an instant ping in my chest to stop him. He couldn't drive upset. No fucking way I would ever let him pull out of this driveway on the verge of tears.

I run up to the car and yank the door open. There's a stream of tears rolling down his cheeks. And I feel like there's no right answer to anything that I do. But now I have an audience. An audience that I now know cares very deeply about her brother. Despite it being differently just a few years ago.

"The only one allowed to hurt him is me. You are dead to me Maybelle." Wren's words bite. I feel so small. The worst part of it all, the moment Wren's words sting the sky's open up and rain dumps from the sky. When it rains, it pours—for everyone.

"You told me to go Maybelle, let me go." Bax pleads with me. And I know when he drives off it's the end of it forever. He'll never come back. Not even for Max. Not because he doesn't care about him. But because if he returns I'll making him a mere morsel of nothing again. He can't let this happen a third time. Three strikes and you're out. We were playing ball, and he wasn't about to strike out.

"Last time someone I know drove upset, Max died. Please, please don't do it." I blink rapidly trying to clear the rain from my eyes. But at this point I don't know if it's rain or tears. My trauma is resurfacing for the first time in a year and I'm feeling overwhelmed.

"He said go away Maybelle." Wren speaks with the evil tone she always had toward Summer. At least it's what I expect it to sound like from the stories I've been told.

"Baxter Radic, I love you. If you love me too, you won't pull out of this driveway." I close his door and walk back toward the house, straight past both Torres' and into my room. My sopping wet clothing hit the floor of my bedroom and I'm in a scalding shower before a single thought enters my mind.

I stand there for a while. Letting the heat burn away the trauma. If he left and something happened, it wouldn't be my fault. That's at least what I spent the entire shower trying to convince myself. It doesn't work though because before I even have a chance to do more than wrap a towel around myself I'm headed back for the front door, only to be met by Bax and Wren sitting on the couch in the living room.

Summer's eyes catch my arrival first, but Bax's quickly follow. He notices the shift in Summer. He notices everything. I'm surprised he wasn't already staring when I walked out. It's something he would already have sensed in the past.

"Something wrong sweetheart?" Summer's Mom speaks first, taking note of my lack of clothing.

I stumble trying to think of a lie to ramble out. Another thing I haven't done much of since getting help. "Clothes are in the laundry." I stare at the ground. "I'll wait." I turn and quickly run toward my room, but not before footsteps follow behind me.

"You didn't drive away." I remark before even turning to face the man stood in my doorway.

"And you have clean clothes in your dresser." He comments back quicker than I can even process.

"We shouldn't be together." I try and believe the words I'm saying, but I just don't believe a single one of them. Sure, life was easier. It was less complicated without him. But it was so fucking hard to deal with the thoughts of him when they decided to creep in.

"Maybe we shouldn't. But fuck it Maybelle. We love each other. We have a kid together. Let us at least try again. Your boyfriend's proven he's a jealous asshole who has no regard for you. He hates our son because he's mine. Do you really want that man in your life forever? Honestly? If you can answer that with a yes I'm gone."

He steps closer to me. I swallow hard feeling the tension in the air thickening. "Do you want that man in your life forever?" He asks again. Clearly not liking how long it's taking me to answer.

I shake my head no. "I've always only wanted you. Even when I left you I only wanted you. But say we do this again, what's stopping us from crumbling again? We are so much for each other. We aren't the same people when we are around one another. It's like we're high on a new drug no one's heard of." My rambling has gone on long enough, and Bax has had enough.

"We are different May. We've spent the last what? Sixteen hours or something? trying to deny each other of what we both want. We're doing it to save the others feelings. We don't want to hurt one another. You think I don't want you so you're closing yourself off. I don't think you want to hurt your boyfriend so I'm closing myself off. But we're walking in circles trying to be good to each other when the right answer is flashing in a bright neon sign at us." I don't realize how close Bax has gotten until his skin runs along mine. The tip of his finger trailing up the bare skin on my arm.

"We can take it slow. Though I don't think either of us really know how to do that. But if you don't want that, then fine. I'll say I love you one last time, and I'll give you what you say you want which is to raise Max alone, without me around." He steps back, but the moment he does I follow him.

He keeps stepping back until he falls back onto my bed. I step with him, pushing my legs between his as I pull him up to a sitting position. He rests his head against my chest as he wraps his arms around me. Oh how I wish he got to do this when Max's little body was growing inside of me. The thought sends butterflies flurrying inside of me like the first snowfall of the year.

"We could have great make up sex you know?" He jokes with his hands resting just above my ass. I'm sure it's tempting.

"Yes because that's taking it slow."  I chuckle at myself as his eyes trace the body he's got in his fingertips again. I wonder how long he's thought about this moment. Or if he's even thought about it at all.

Honestly, I've thought about this moment so many times. I've come up with every possible scenario in my head. I even came to the conclusion we are at right now. The love Bax and I have for one another could never be beaten. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. If we had never made our way back to one another I know that love would have still existed inside the both of us. Our love was undeniable—unbreakable. We were the most straight forward case of: the invisible red string.

No matter how many ripples were made. The effects of them inevitably would have pushed us to be right here, right now, together until the end of time. We were destined to be one. We were two halves of one whole. Together we would be a family. The two of us, the three of us, and maybe many more of us.