|| FOREVER YOU || (TAE ×Y/N)

BREAK

Reaching your parents home, you settle your bags in your old room. This same old room fills your chest with so many memories. 

Memories.

Memories of getting flushed and happy seeing his smile. 

Memories of falling in love with Taehyung. 

Memories of coming back home with a new smile, new heart after seeing Taehyung.

Memories of finding him hurt and crying for him, wetting the pillow. 

"Argh, it hurts," you hiss, holding your head between your hands trying to forget everything. You cannot let yourself drown again. You close your eyes for a brief second and take a deep diaphragm breath before opening them back.

Memories.

Memories of your mom taking care of you.

Memories of you and your parents playing around.

Memories of your birthday night surprises. 

Memories of achievements. 

"It feels better," you mutter, rubbing your chest with a fist, trying to steady your heart. 

A soft knock catches your attention as you look at the door finding your mom entering the room with a tray of breakfast for you. You settle your bags aside and keep them on the floor back from the bed. 

Setting down the tray on the bed, she grabs your wrist and makes you sit. You look at her and there you find her sympathetic eyes. She was sad and sorry for you. It hurts you. You don't want this. 

"Mom… don't be sorry. I am okay. Please, don't make it harder for me," you shake your head, your eyes giving up as they start pouring down your cheeks. You hide your face in your palms in embarrassment while your muffled noises find a way to escape through your edges. You weren't gonna hold it back. You had to let it go before it breaks you till the core, ruins your soul. Your poor soul didn't deserve this. 

Sighing softly, your mom reaches behind you. Taking a seat right behind you, she wraps her hands around your waist, resting her head over your shoulder. You know what it means. She was trying to say, she was there for you. She was always there for you. 

"I don't know, mom. I don't know how I would be able to live. It feels so suffocating. It feels like my lungs don't know how to breathe, like they don't know how to survive without him. I hate this feeling, mom. I hate it so much. I hate him. I want to hate him but it feels so difficult to hate him when all I ever did for my whole life was to love him," your words take a halt as you gasp for air. You can't breathe but you have to.

Your mom's eyes blink to hide the tears forming in their brink. She had to be strong for you. She rubs your backs slowly, kissing your shoulder. She mumbled a few words which you didn't hear as you were too broken to hear or see the surroundings. 

"He broke me. He broke me, mom. And I allowed him. I want to kill him, and make him regret so much. What was my fault, mumma… why did I love him so much? I always thought if I give 99% effort he'll just have to give the remaining one. If I give 101% effort he won't have to make an effort, he would just have to be there. He was supposed to just be there. And do nothing, yet he wasn't there. Everything right now is making me so sick. His face, it's making me so sick, mom. I hate so much to admit it that I still love him. And I still want him to come back and apologise, take me home and do me right like he didn't do previously.  I am so much worse, so wrong right now. So pathetic…" you break again, this time a loud weeping sound escapes your mouth while you completely shudder, your body losing every strength it had. 

Your mom sits there, listening to all of it. She knew how broken you were and mending your heart would take years. All she knew was if there was a way to make you forget Taehyung, she would have done everything.  She would have crossed seven oceans for you, trek every mountain barefoot, go to every church, pay any amount anyone asks her to.