A Hybrid's Hunger

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

I can't sleep.

I roll on the bed once more and turn to the window. It's the middle of the night yet I can't seem to find any peace. The events of earlier play in my mind like a broken record. It haunts me. What have I done? I can't help but worry about my mate even though I despise him. His voice was laced with anguish when he spoke.

Pulling the blanket tighter around myself, I sit up in bed, my gaze fixed on the closed door of my room. I'm tempted to go to him, to see how he is doing. But his final warning still rings in my ears, his growled order to keep my distance.

Was it because of the blood? It can be.

He had looked so different, so terrifying, yet there was a hint of desperation in his eyes. There is something more, something else. I don't know what it is but I have gotten more curious than ever.

My wolf gnaws at my back, forcing me to go to him. She's enraged herself and I can't help her. I don't want to go to him, not after his warning. There's no assurance of what he can do to me when in the state of such primal and raw hunger—bloodlust. But my wolf doesn't care about our safety. She only cares for him.

Our mate.

I lift myself off the bed and step out of the room. It's been hours now. Maybe he has had some blood and calmed down. Maybe.

When I step outside, I look left and right in the hallway. It's dark and silent. Cold seeps through my bare feet as I move across the hallways, trying to find the right direction. I've no clue where his bedroom is, or where he would be. I look into the living room, but it's empty. There's no one here. Dread settles into my stomach and I turn around before making my way out of the room and into the next one. I search for him for a few minutes around the house but I can't find him.

He's nowhere.

My heart pounds in my chest while my wolf nudges me, urging me to keep looking through the dark and wide hallways that go on forever.

"You shouldn't be awake at this time."

I jump on my steps when I hear Estella's voice behind me. It comes out of nowhere. When I turn, she's standing at the end of the hallway. "I—I didn't mean to disturb—"

"Go back to your room, Aurora. The morning will come soon and then you can do whatever you wish to do." She tells me and I wonder if she knows what has happened.

I can feel the guilt on my face, it's like a heavy mask that's suffocating me. "Where's Zade?" I ask while approaching her.

"It's better if you don't see him now, especially after the whole thing you did with the blood bags. Why, Aurora?" She doesn't snap at me even when I'm guilty of doing something wrong. Instead, she speaks to me in a soft tone.

"I was angry, at him, for not healing me or showing care. It was silly. I didn't know it was going to affect him so much. I wouldn't have done it if it was such a necessity for him," I try explaining to her but it barely makes any sense to me. "I didn't mean to hurt him."

"I know, dear," she replies, reaching out to touch my arm gently. "But you still did it. What you need to understand is that for Zade, blood is more than just a source of food. His survival is on blood and he has been fighting to control his bloodlust for years and years. He's not just a vampire with mere craving who can control oneself easily. He has struggled with it in the past and even the slightest trigger or change in his intake can set him off balance."

I blink, completely surprised. "I—I didn't know." The guilt chokes me even more to the point where I can barely breathe.

She squeezes my arm and nods, "It's alright, and I understand where you're coming from. He needs to stay in balance. Otherwise, all hell will break loose."

An image of Zade, his face pale, eyes bloodshot, flashes through my mind and I shudder.

"Where is he?" I ask her again, the desire to see him more intense than ever. I've never wanted to see him as much as I did tonight.

"He's not here, dear." Her gaze softens.

"Where is he then?"

Her expression grows gloomy as she meets my gaze. "He has to keep some distance from you, for a few days, or at least until he has drank—"

"He didn't?"

"Not yet. He cannot drink directly, he has to drink from blood bags and they'll arrive here early in the morning. So until then, he's confided in the tower where he can regain his balance in the meantime," she studies me for a moment as I register where he is. In the tower? What is he doing there? "I understand your circumstances and your need right now, Aurora, but don't go there, not tonight."

My brows furrow in confusion. "My what?"

She pauses, her eyes filled with compassion. "Your circumstances, dear. You're in heat—it is the full moon tonight."

My breath catches in my throat as her words sink in. Heat. I had been so consumed by my guilt and concern for Zade that I had failed to recognize the urgency within myself. It is the full moon tonight and I didn't even know it.

My wolf, she's bothering me for a reason. The heightened emotions. It all makes sense now.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot about that," I stammer, my cheeks flushing with shame as I move back, closer to the hallway leading into my bedroom. "I should probably get some sleep then."

Estella's expression softens, understanding evident in her eyes. "It's completely fine. Take some rest and it will be all well in a few days."

Do you think she's guilty or Zade's in the wrong?

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