A Hybrid's Hunger

Chapter 33

Chapter 33

I see a bundle of sheets on the side of the bed, covered in blood and other fluids while I wake up on the bare bed, without any sheets. I squint against the bright sunlight hitting my face. Lifting my arm, I cover my eyes and roll over the bed, trying to slip back into the sleep I had been woken from.

The cold air of the room kisses my partly bare skin, raising goosebumps along my arms and legs. My muscles ache, my insides ache, everything aches. I'm sore, far from sore. I'm hollow, empty. It feels worse than anything else.

The room is eerily silent and I don't like it.

I shove the blanket away from my body and sit up straight. My hand plants against the mattress and I wonder, for only a moment, that if I hadn't stabbed Zade last night, it would've been a lot different today.

With a sigh, I stand and my body quickly weakens from the sudden movement, almost falling back on the bed. His scent still lingers on my skin, it's inches deep now and even a hot shower isn't going to take it away. But I still take the shower. I need it more than anything else.

It eases some of ache if not all. By the time I'm done, I feel somewhat better. But deep inside, guilt and fear courses through me like never.

The night's over and I'm beginning to count my breaths.

When I step out of my room, it's quiet. There's no one walking across the empty hallways of this house and there's no certain smell lingering in the air. I look around for a few seconds and when I don't see anyone, I walk further and head toward the kitchen where I know I'm going to find Estella.

Biting my cheek, I step into the kitchen and find her.

She doesn't knows anything—I've to keep it that way. But what's going to happen when she finds the bloody sheets in my room? It wasn't a rogue who attacked Zade, it was me. I did it and no one saw it coming, not even me.

"How are you doing?" She quickly comes to me ask. "I thought of checking on you earlier but I thought it would better if you rested a while more."

"I'm fine, thank you," I look around, still seeking for someone, some scent of him but there's none. "Where's Zade?"

"He's in his room, dear. Whatever you need, I can help you with it."

"How's he doing? Did you talk to him? Did he tell you anything?" I ask her, questions and questions. I want to know what's in his mind, what he intends on doing with me. Leaving me squirming earlier wasn't the only thing going on in his mind and I knew that.

There's more. With him, there's always more.

"No. I haven't spoken to him or seen him yet. I suppose he's still resting. The attack earlier must've been brutal. Where did it happen?" She questions me instead.

I stop looking around. My gaze falls on her and I loose myself in her inquiry. What am I supposed to tell her? The truth? I don't even know myself. "I—I don't know, it's just all a blur." I quickly say. It's something at least.

Her hand reaches out, touching my shoulder. She guides me toward the seat and lets me sit.

"Are you okay, Aurora?"

"Yes," I nod. "I'm fine. Just—I'll be fine." I glance back over my shoulder, seeing through the doorway hoping I can catch a glimpse of him.

My heart races. At this point, I don't know if I'm scared of him or scared for him after last night. Should I be cautious? Or should he be?

Estella pats my shoulder once more, taking me out of my thoughts. "There's something troubling you, my dear. I can see it in your eyes. Is it what happened earlier in the night? Rogues often cross this path of north, they are usually taken down by the wolves patrolling the borders. There's nothing to worry about."

It's not rogues.

"I..." My voice trails off, unsure how much to reveal or whether I should even. I glance up at her, my eyes wide and attentive. Everything plays in my mind again, from the very first time I saw Zade and till last night. "Is there something?"

"What?"

"Is there something he's hiding from me?"

"Wh—why would you think that?" She steps back. Hesitation, it's clear she knows something.

I stand up from my seat. "There is something, isn't there? Something he isn't telling me or something he doesn't wants me to know about himself?" I don't stop. "I mean, why would he trap me here? Why wouldn't he let me go see my mother? Not even for once. Why had he been refusing to drink straight from the source? It's more than complicated with him, it's maddening. It's like he doesn't has a bone of empathy. No one is like that, no one can be. Unless there's something."

She falls silent, her gaze shifting from mine. I see the struggle eyes. Her lips part as if to say something, only to close again. There's something. It's not just my mind running wild with assumptions and theories. There's some secret lingering in the walls of this house, something he doesn't wants to tell me and neither does anyone else.

What is it?

Nothing with Zade makes sense. Nothing.

I remember his touch, the warmth his touch gives me. I remember his kiss, passionate and demanding. I remember the hardness in his eyes, the cold in his voice. But I also remember his softer moments, his vulnerability that seems so out of place on his rugged self.

"Tell me, Estella." My voice cuts through the silence and I grab her arm. The desertion seeps into my words. "What is it with him? I know there's something you know, you've to tell me."

"Aurora," she begins, her voice barely above a whisper. "It's not that simple."

"Then make it simple." I snap. "I need to understand. I need to know why he's doing this, why he's treating me this way. Why he is like—who he is?"

She stays silent for a moment and then sighs. "I wish I could help you. But it's his secrets to tell, not mine. When he's ready, he'll tell you."

So there is something.

I don't let go of it so easily.

"No," I hold her had tighter. "Tell me."

"I can't." She takes her head and trembles. Fear gushes into her eyes, but she isn't afraid of me.

"Is it another woman?" I question. "Was he in love before? Perhaps, another woman? Is that why he's so cruel to me?"

"Aurora, you've to stop before you hurt yourself. This isn't for you to know and it isn't for me to tell."  

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