Chapter 34

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Chapter 34

I spent the night and the next night alone, in the room. He's absent. I haven't seen Zade in two days. The lack of his daunting presence feels more like a void than anything else.

Each morning, Estella informs me that he's not here, and by nightfall, the story remains the same. When he is here, she prevents me from seeing him, insisting that I give him some time.

What for, I don't know.

The food sits cold on the table beside the bed. I don't even glance at it. I'm not hungry, just tired and restless. My gaze is drawn, as always, to the window. I stand up and cold bites into my skin as I shuffle towards it. I twist my wet hair between my fingers and stare outside.

A blanket of snow has covered the ground. Everything is frozen, still, waiting—just as I am. The trees are bare and each branch and twig is covered in a layer of frost that can barely seen in the dark night. A few flakes continue to fall from the sky, twirling in the air before falling onto the ground.

My warm breath fogs up the cold window pane. I step back and turn around. It's cold and I can't bear it. I don't know what is it, what I'm feeling, or what's happening but something doesn't feels right anymore.

My thoughts are consumed by Zade and the last time I had seen him. The guilt doesn't eases me, it just tells me how much of a bad person I've turned into. And over that, Estella's secrecy only adds up to my growing worries.

I'm wracked with uncertainty and fear.

"I'll be heading to bed, dear. If there's something you need, let me know and I'll bring it to you." Estella says behind me. I know every time when she's here, it's her steps. The doors to the room have remained open over the past two nights and she walks in whenever she needs to.

"No," I shake my head and turn to her. "I'll sleep."

"Goodnight." She gives me a quick smile, it's nowhere near warm like it had been before.

"Goodnight."

The lights across the hallways turn off and the house darkens. I only hear the distant sounds of rough winds and owls hooting. I wait for a few minutes, just listening. When the Estella's footsteps completely fade, I step out of the room and take a glance around.

The house feels far more terrifying now that the lights are out. There's barely anything I can see in the dark but I still make my way across the hallway and toward the staircase.

The house is a maze, there are many rooms, many stairs. It's endless. I remember some ways around the house through Estella. She showed me around when I first came down from the tower but she still didn't manage to show me everything.

Whatever I know, I use it to find Zade's room. I haven't seen it before, I don't even know where it is.

When I reach upstairs, to my right, there's a panel of four tall windows, all of their curtains parted, allowing moonlight to fill the house. Snow falls, turning the night even colder. I move across the empty hallways and peek inside whichever room is open but I don't find him anywhere.

It doesn't takes long before my wolf picks up his scent. He's here, he's always here but he won't bother to come to me. Maybe I've pissed him, maybe I've not—only time will tell. But for now, I must see him.

I follow the scent and it leads me towards an eerie hallway. His scent grows stronger as I approach the end of the hallway. It's coming from behind a grand door. I press my hands against it and try to open it, but it's locked, sealed, something.

My neck stretches and I glance up at the door with my brows furrowed. Why would he lock himself in? I wonder while turning around.

Behind me, there's a staircase that heads down. When I reach at the end of the staircase, I see another door. This one's familiar. It's the one that leads to one of the rooms I had seen earlier, one Estella showed me, where the view of the mountains could be seen and one could step out as one of the walls had been broken and turned into something like a natural cave.

It takes me a minute to realize that it's connected to the room above, and it's also locked. Suddenly, the puzzle pieces fall into place. It makes sense now how Zade has been leaving and returning without clashing with me.

A chill claws up my spine. He is truly keeping himself away from me.

But why?

When I hear footsteps, I quickly turn.

"Aurora, what are you doing here?" Estella asks, her voice splitting through the silence, ringing loud in my ears.

I part my hand away from the door and turn to her. "I—I wanted to see Zade."

"You can't get through these doors without a key. Even if you could, I'm not sure it would be a good idea right now," She looks at me, then at the door, her gaze softening at my desperate attempt. "I can't assume what has happened between the both of you, but I can see there's something wrong since that night you came with him. It's best if you take some time and let him have some as well."

"But—" I open my mouth and then shut it immediately. I don't want her to know what I've done. She doesn't knows and it's better. "I'll go back to my room."

She nods before give me a gentle pat on my arm. "Come on. I'll take you there with me before you get lost somewhere again."

I follow her into my room and this time, she closes the door before leaving room. Once more, I'm left alone.

I curl up on my bed and shut my eyes. My body sinks into the soft sheets and even when my mind is filled with thoughts of my mate, I find some rest. In my sleep, I dream of the young years with my mother and the both of us enjoying the snow. Her smile was the sun on those cold days.

We played for hours and hours in the snow and even when she knew that I'd get sick, she wouldn't stop me.

But there's something wrong with the dream. It's not real, because it never snows back in my hometown. It never has. But why do I remember playing in the snow so vividly?

A loud, crashing thud pulls me awake and I jolt straight up. The dream fades away quickly but I don't forget what it is about. I've to come back to it later but for now, I need to know what is the voice that had echoed through the house.  


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