A Hybrid's Hunger

Chapter 37

Chapter 37

The snow falls gently, each flake beautiful as it drifts down from the sky. It's silent in the garden, the kind of silence that makes every noise, every movement seems loud. I sit on the iron bench, bundled up in a heavy coat and watch the snowflakes twirl and dance before they meet their fate on the ground.

My mind is relentless, full of questions. Who was she? What was she like? Did she love him as he loved her?

There's curiosity, yes, but it's with jealousy and I can't seem to swallow it. It's not fair. None of this is far. I feel like nothing in this game that Zade and his past are playing. How long ago was this even? I can't tell because no one will tell me. Is this woman the reason why he hesitates to mark me?

I suppose I now understand how it is to feel envious of something I can't have. Each time I think about the letter, my gut churns and my wolf aches in pain. More than that, there's lingering betrayal and hypocrisy. My body feels like I've done wrong, by being here, by being with him that night, by giving myself to him when I should've waited, waited for just a bit more.

I didn't think I'd ever regret it, but now I wonder if I am going to.

Snow crunches on the ground beneath as I hear footsteps approaching me. I raise my head and find Zade, walking into the garden. He wears a black shirt which clings to his muscular frame, accentuating his broad shoulders and arms. His hair, a shade darker than the sky, is slightly long, curled and some falls softly around his face as he moves.

He stops and sits next to me on the bench. I feel the heat of him even through the cold, and I shift, trying to put some distance between us. But the space isn't enough to quench the confusion growing inside me.

My arms unfold, I pull my hands over my lap. I don't turn to him, I continue looking ahead as the flakes building up on the ground.

"I'm not trying to run away," I say under my breath. "I'll go back in soon."

"I know you won't, but it's not good for you to be out here too long," He responds. I feel his eyes on me, but I don't know if I want to meet them again. "There have been a few recent attacks and I just want you to be careful. The house isn't gated from the woods. Though, I've made sure it's heavily patrolled and guarded."

He shits in his seat, brushing a few flakes of snow off his dark clothes while waiting for me to say something.

"I'll be careful." I murmur.

"I know there's more you want from me and maybe in time I'll be able to give you that. Eventually. I see what you need, I see it every time I look at you but it isn't easy for me," He confesses.

The truth in his words brings a lump to my throat, and I'm forced to swallow hard against it.

"I want to ease some of your concerns. I know you're desperate to go back to your home, and I cannot let that happen. But, I suppose there's no harm if you speak to your mother for a bit," He continues, his words slow, cautious. "Only under the promise that you will not tell her where you are and you'll not mention me or this place at all."

"I won't." I quickly say, no hesitation.

My head turns to him at his offer. He meets my gaze, holding it for a brief moment before he looks away and pulls out his phone. Before handing it to me, he warns me again.

"I won't say her anything. I just want to talk to her for a minute, I just want to know that she doing okay." The desperation in my voice is clear, but I don't care. Anything is better than nothing.

Zade nods, handing me the phone once he's sure of it. I take the phone from him, holding it like it's the most precious thing in the world. It takes me only a second to remember my mother's number and when I do, I call her immediately. I had lost track of time a few days after I had been here, but it had been a while now since I left.

As the call rings, I take a deep breath, readying myself for the conversation I've been longing for. I'm anxious, nervous, excited—I just hope she's doing okay without me.

The call connects and my heart jumps.

"Hello?" My mother's voice rings in my ear and I smile.

"Mom. It's me, Aurora." I say, my voice trembling like it never has. "How are you?"

There's a sharp inhale of breath on the other end of the line, a moment of silence and then, "Oh, is that really you? Where are you? How are you doing? Where have you been all this time, Aurora? I've looked for you everywhere. I thought something terrible happened." The worry in her voice sets me back. My heart breaks when I hear it.

"I'm fine, Mom," I assure her. "I—I just had to leave for a bit. I'm doing okay."

"Where are you?" She repeats.

My gaze flickers to Zade who leans back onto the bench and listens to the conversation. "I can't tell you that, Mom. But I promise you that I'm safe. I promise."

She hesitates and I can almost see her shutting her eyes and pressing her fingers between her eyes. "You promise? You're safe?"

"Yes, yes. I just want to know how you're doing. Are you okay? Have you been okay all this time? Did you heal?"

"Yes, I did. I'm perfectly fine, Aurora, but I'm concerned for you. Your friend told me that you'd be going for a bit, but didn't know how long. I had been waiting to see you, to hear from you. It's been so long and I missed you." Her voice breaks a little. Her words, her concern, they make my eyes thing.

"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine, too. But you take care of yourself and when I can, I surely will come see you."

"Promise?" I hear the hope in her voice, as if she's expecting to appear right away.

I know I can't, not for now but she doesn't needs to know that. "I promise."

"Okay, okay, then." She pauses, taking a shaky breath. "You take care of yourself and remember, I'm always here for you. If you're in any kind of trouble, you can tell me—"

I stop her before she heads down that path. "No, nothing like that, Mom."

She blows out a breath and it sounds like relief. "That's good."

"I love you." I swallow hard, my throat tight. A few tears stain my cheek but I'm glad to know she's doing okay, that she's alive, healed.

"I love you too, Aurora. So much."  

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