Crossing Fates : Book 3 - Detain (BakuDeku)

15 - That Summer

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Eijiro give him a quick look.

After a few moments, Eijiro said, "I suppose you know that Tenya has been in the audience."

He nodded.

"So you've talked?"

"No," he said.

Eijiro said, "I wish you both would get over this shit."

That one sentence was the most any of the sentinels had said to him on the subject.

He said, "Will you consider the position and let me know?"

The other male sighed. "When do you want me to get back to you?"

"Thursday evening would be fine," then driven by an impulse he chose not to dissect, he stated, "You keep in touch with Tenya, don't you? You all do."

"Yep," Eijiro said. "Some of us are mad at him. Some are mad at you. Some of us are mad at both of you."

Katsuki rubbed his face. "Has he ever talked about what happened?"

"Nope. Far as I know, he hasn't told anybody about it. Well, maybe he's talked to his sister, Momo, but he hasn't talked to any of us."

There were different ways to manifest loyalty, Katsuki thought.

Maintaining silence was one of them.

Fuck.

He gritted his teeth. Talking to Izuku was so much easier.

He growled, "If you are inclined to take the position, you should consider. I was not easy on Tenya. He bore the brunt of my temper often, and when he started to show strain, I did not take notice or change any part of what I did. When he asked for me to pause and listen to him, I did not. I issued orders."

He had specifically ordered Tenya to return to Musutafu and abandon Momo, who had at that time been an ally to the Nyr.

Momo was going insane, killing her own kind within her vicinity. The Elder Tribunal had put Momo under a kill order.

While normally Katsuki might have involved himself in the issue, last summer, the Nyr domain had been facing border tensions with the Elves, and had been too deeply entrenched in the Dark Fae problems for too long, specially after Mina's assassination attempt.

Overextended, understaffed and short on political tolerance, he had decided, to use a fisherman's term, to cut bait.

It had been the right decision, dammit, and one Tenya might have agreed with.

But going to the Vampire Domain and seeing the Vampire Sorceress for the first time, eventhough she changed her name, Tenya immediately recognized Momo.

Ever since their parents died and they got separated, Tenya never even imagined that his  sister will be turned into a vampire.

Discovering Momo was Tenya's lost sister was the force that pushed them to strain the rope. Hell, probably even Momo would have agreed with it. She knew the necessity of doing what was politically expedient in order to survive.

If Katsuki had to do all over with the same information he'd had at the time, he would make the same decision again.

But it had been the right decision delivered badly, and he had not given Tenya a chance to weigh in on the subject and change his mind. Then it had been Tenya who had cut bait in favor of his sister.

Eijiro's thoughts must have followed in a similar vein because he spoke, "You all went crazy last summer. We didn't even know she was his sister until then. You didn't know. The kill order was correct at the time. Momo was sick and going insane. The tribunal thought she was a lost cause."

Katsuki smiled wryly. "That maybe so, but I still sent Tenya to help with the order if need be. I almost made him kill his own sister."

"Yeah well. As I've said, you didn't know she was his sister at the time," then the other male said wistfully, "Don't suppose you could tell Tenya all this and apologize."

"Things cannot return to what they were, Eijiro," he said. "Even if I were to apologize- even if Tenya apologized for his part in creating what happened- we cannot go back. Maybe we can find a new definition, but he will not ever be my First Sentinel again. That time is done."

"Well," said Eijiro. "Suppose I had to ask," he sounded disappointed but not surprised. "Do you mind saying- why me?"

Katsuki considered. "Because not only do I trust you but Izuku does too. It matters to me that he adores and loves you, and that you're close to him. I want you to talk to him if you ever feel the need. I know he's young, and he may not have experience with administrative shit, but he has more understanding, empathy and compassion for people than I will ever have. I think that may lend us a stability that Tenya and I didn't achieve in the end."

He smiled. "Izuku won't let me be too hard on you."

His rugged face sober, Eijiro said, "Thank you for telling me."

Katsuki nodded to him. "Let me know when you've decided."

"I've decided," Eijiro told him. "I'll do it."

They talked for a few more moments, then the gryphon took his leave, and with that, Katsuki reached his limit on meaningful talks for the day.

He needed out.

Out of the crowded complex that was filled with so many vulnerable creatures and such a strong scent of blood. Out of the crowded city.

He left the building and launched into flight, and let the burn of the icy winter air take him until solitude gave him a measure of balance. He would stay in the air until darkness covered the land.

Then he could hope to find peace with Izuku, in a dream.

He supposed this was love.

The thing of it was, he had seen examples of love that were twisted, small-minded and unhappy, so he wasn't quite sure.

The immensity of experience he had with Izuku was so much more than that.

Izuku was his- his only true treasure and one possession, and part of what created that trueness was that the boy chose it too, and he claimed him, and he was his.

What existed between them was active and passionate and elemental, a hinge upon which everything else pivoted.

A Prime, indivisible. That pure, that strong, that essential.

Without Izuku, he had nothing.

He IS nothing.

Everything else might cease and pass away, but his thief is one thing that he would never ever allow to disappear.