The Trouble with Kissing Connor

Chapter 39- Connor

Sadie's words knocked the wind out of me. I tried to inhale, but the air felt like it was too thick to breathe, like it had turned to sludge.

"I'm sorry," Sadie said softly before she stood up.

All my reflexes fired to life as I started to panic. I grabbed her by the hand, pulling her back down towards me, and she slumped next to me again.

"You're kidding, I mean... this cannot be the end. It can't. It hasn't even begun yet, Sadie. We haven't even given this thing a chance... and now what? It's over before it's begun?"

All of a sudden I had a whole bunch of stuff to say, and I wasn't going to stop talking, not until she understood how much I loved her and wanted to be with her.

"Sadie... you can't walk away now. Our adventure is only beginning..."

Sadie reached up and put her hand over my mouth. I grabbed it and held onto it. Kissing the back of it like it was a long lost lover.

"We have no choice," she said, taking her hand away. "You should go for that scholarship, and I'm going away next year. Which is literally in a few month's time, and in that time I need to put my energy into repairing McKenzie's and I's relationship. This is just the way things are working out right now, Connor."

"But I don't want it to work out like that." I threaded my fingers through hers and held her hand tight.

"Maybe it's the way it was supposed to work out," she reasoned, her fingers traced the inside of my hand, and I caressed the back of her hand with my thumb.

"How can you be so calm about this? So logical?"

"I've had time to think about it. And when you do, you'll also realize it's the right thing, too."

She started getting up again and this time I didn't stop her. But before she did, she grabbed a few extra donuts. She took a bite and smiled at me faintly. I could see she was trying to put on a brave face.

I jumped up. "But this is not supposed to happen like this. This is meant to be your big Hollywood gesture, the one that cannot be refused because it's so romantic and blows you off your feet and—"

"It was perfect. It was the best romantic gesture in the history of romantic gestures."

"But it wasn't enough."

"It was. It was more than enough."

"But?" I wanted for her to add to that, but she just shook her head.

"There is no 'but'. It was perfect." Her eyes looked like they were tearing up again and she began to turn away. The panic from earlier was back. It felt like if I let her walk away now, it was really over. Sadie and I would be done forever.

"Wait! Why don't you stay for supper, we're still friends, aren't we?"

She turned back slowly, "We are still friends. Best friends, but I need some..."

"Time," I added before she had a chance to finish.

She nodded back at me.

I tried to give her a faint understanding smile, but my lips didn't move.

She took a step forward and planted a small kiss on my mouth. I felt her lips linger and heard that familiar breathy whimper. She started to pull away, and I grabbed her and kissed her harder.

For a moment I thought she would pull away, but she didn't. She kissed me right back and wrapped both her arms around me. I didn't hesitate in reciprocating. My hand wandered down her back and I wanted to move them lower. The kiss was different this time. It was hungry, and sexy and hot as hell. My hand tentatively moved further and further down her back, but I wasn't sure I could...