The Trouble with Kissing Connor

Chapter 18 (Sadie)

I woke up with a fat smile on my face and a strange feeling of lightness in my step. As if I was actually flying and my feet were no longer touching the floor. Gravity had no pull on me today.

Finally, after so many years of choking the words down, I'd finally been able to say some of them to him last night. Okay, so he didn't know it was me saying them, but still, to have gotten to say any of that to Connor last night, it felt like the biggest weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Maybe that's why my feet were no longer touching the ground. I felt so good to have freed some of those words after so many years.

But in the back of my mind I knew that this thing was probably going to come back to bite me. It would probably backfire and explode into a million fiery hot pieces. But I felt so good that I was fully prepared to ignore the possible consequences of what I'd just started. My ever-growing lie didn't seem to matter in the face of that tingly, glowy, amazingly giddy feeling that I was experiencing right now as I skipped across my bedroom floor like a ballerina.

All I cared about was continuing to tell Connor how much I wanted to kiss him and the best part, was having him say it back to me. So yes, right now, I was just going to blindly ignore the niggling thoughts in the back of my mind that told me this thing was all going to blow up like Hiroshima. The niggling thoughts telling me that this was bound to end badly and probably in one way... me getting hurt. But I didn't care right now. Because it felt amazing. .

Not even McKenzie was able to wipe the smile off my face, even though she was being particularly "McKenzie-like" to me that morning. I was used to her giving me crap, but that morning, when I walked downstairs wearing my 'Welcome down under' shirt with the big Koala bear on it, she looked up from her ultra-low-fat muffin and scowled.

"God, it would be vaguely acceptable if you were wearing that shirt ironically, but you're not, so it's not acceptable."

I ignored her. Nothing could put a damper on my mood, not even my mother joining on.

"Your sister's right, Sadie. Look how faded it is, do you want people at school thinking we can't afford to buy you new clothes?"

I scoffed loudly. "Trust me, no one at school could ever doubt your ability to buy clothes."

"Can't you at least wear something that doesn't look so old?" my mom pleased. Outward appearances were everything to her.

"Don't judge me just because I don't want to dress like I'm entering a beauty pageant."

In unison, my sister and mother rolled their eyes and tutted loudly. It was a blatant display of aesthetic disapproval. Then, as she picked up her herbal tea, a demonic look flashed in my evil twin's eyes. "Plus you don't want the guys to get the wrong idea about you," she paused, "Welcome down under."

"MacKenzie!" My mother screeched in shock as she cottoned onto the not so subtle innuendo. "You can't talk like that! And certainly not at the breakfast nook."

I wondered what made a breakfast nook a particularly inappropriate place to say that. Would the TV room be better, Mom?

Still, all that didn't bother me a bit. I was far too excited and focused on seeing Connor. After last night, I wanted to see his face and get a sense of how he was feeling.

And I knew the answer the second I saw him. He had a dopey looking smile painted from ear- to- ear, and he was checking his phone constantly. I walked up to him and stood in front of him, beaming.

"Okay, I know why I'm so happy today. Why are you so happy?" he asked.

I quickly wiped the smile off my face. I knew that I had to play this cleverly. I had to appear 100 percent normal. Every day Sadie, even if nothing felt normal anymore.