words to go by [j.sc + male!reader!]

18

bubu leader😝

Baby how are you doing
with Riize?

Umm, good:)

For real? Or are
you just saying that to
make me feel better?

I'm good, Yong.

Wonbin's been a big help

What about Sungchan
and Shotaro? Are they
doing alright?

Mhm, we are getting
prepared to head to
America so wecan start
filming the music videos

You'll let me know if
anything is wrong right?

Of course!

____

"You're lying again." I jump, startled as Shotaro seems to have been behind me for some time now.

"It's not nice to read over shoulders." I scoff at him, turning to face him as he stood behind the couch I was sat at.

He smiled softly, nodding his head. "I know, but you told Taeyong you are fine when you're not."

My smile drops slightly, not sure why he would think that. I've been smiling, I've been working hard to show them that I want to be here. I do want to be here, no matter how badly I miss NCT.

"Y/n... when's the last time you've spoken with Sungchan?" Shotaro tilts his head to the side, placing his hand against my shoulder.

I furrow my eyebrows. "Just this morning."

He sighs. "When's the last time you guys had a conversation, when was the last time you guys acted like the close friends you are?"

I choke up, trying to catch my breath. How did he notice? I tried making it seem like it was normal whenever Sungchan avoided me. "Uh... the morning before SM announced our departure from NCT."

"So months ago? What's going on? You guys both act like nothing has changed, but Y/n I'm your best friend, you don't think I won't notice when you guys haven't been in the same room more than 5 minutes unless it was for work? I miss the 3 of us." Shotaro was upset, and it's my fault. If I wasn't gay, if I never dated Byungho, then I wouldn't have been kicked from NCT and Sungchan wouldn't be mad at me.

"I... I don't know." I spit out, voice unsteady. "That morning he came to take me for breakfast, he told me he wasn't going to leave. He said he'd help me with the whole situation, and then the article was released and it's like he's pissed off that I was suddenly joining you guys."

Shotaro frowned. "Talk to him... please. If he's truly pissed off then it's his fault for dropping someone as amazing as you. But if he's not, Sungchan's not good at talking about his insecurities, there's a good chance he feels at fault for you switching with us to Riize."

✖️✖️✖️

My goal is to finish this story before the new year, it's already been over a year since I started it, but my mental health has been a lot better these past couple months. I really don't think you'll have to wait as long as "Dysphoria" guys:)