🔸️03.09.1994 - Changes - Pt. 1 Sweet as a Yellow Apple

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Word count for chapter three: 54.5K
✒ part one: 16.4K
✒ part two: 8.6K
✒ part three: 12.1K
✒ part four: 9.4K
✒ part five: 7.7K

About part one:

Warnings: painful memories, wet dream, adultery, misery, a feeling of humiliation and degradation, hungry (thirsty and unwanted) eyes, disgust, manipulation, a poisoning attempt, evil, usage (of beauty), forbidden thoughts, abuse, offensive language, yelling, toxic household, threats, anger, pain, guilt, a detailed horror description (sewn mouth, dead creature, eyeless woman, dried blood, bleed, disturbing screams etc.), fear.

Mentions: grief, warmth, temptations, blueberries, overthinking, constant questions, dreams, shock, enchanted forest, shelter, prey, sharing food, mentions of poisons, hope, fragility, trust, heptomology, nature('s love), unexpected touches, being late, weakness, jealousy, hurt male ego, attempts, negligence.

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[ me ]

The last framed picture found it's place on one of the shelves in nothing but the dim flickering light of the fire, that was not providing me with enough warmth to drive away the cold I felt while looking at this picture.

The picture of two people, two happy people, laughing, with the garden in the background in which I used to play. It was long since I "used to do" this. My parents. Dead people looking at me from a piece of paper protected by a thin layer of glass, looking so alive and yet ever part of me knew that they were gone from this world forever. It did not happen often that I took the time to really look at this picture, however I still won't ever forget about it. It was there and knowing this was enough already to keep the memories present. The good memories, but also the bad. What would my father say to me now, if he could see me. Would he be proud? Proud of what.. of me running away? No, he would not be proud of that, but he would still accept it, as he always had accepted my decisions. And my mum? She would be proud, she would be proud that I was not afraid to head off into the unknown.

I carefully placed the frame on the shelf and then reached for my glass of wine, that had already been refilled twice. I slump down on the armchair that I had moved to the window, so I could look into the endless darkness that almost made the forest invisible.

Invisible. And yet, the more my eyes got used to the lack of light, to that dim gleam of light the moon provided, the more I could make out the shapes of the trees. The forest was not invisible, but plainly visible for those who took their time to get used to the light. Just as I had not been invisible, after the man has got used to my presence. I took another sip of the red liquid I had been swaying in the glass lost in my thoughts. While my eyes were still gazing at the plainly visible "invisible" forest my mind wandered back to my parents, to those two people that could not be any more different.

My mother, lighthearted, kind, happy, openminded and adventurous, a lover of small things, of colourfull flimsy wildflowers growing randomly in the garden, a lover of small deeds, hugs, a lover of laughing and in contrast to that my father, serious, respectable, successful, punctilious and down to earth, he loved things to be in order, making plans and sticking to them, he often seemed distant, but was not to those he loved, he was just so different. How could two people, that could not be any more different fall in love? How could the sun and the moon fall in love, when one of them was driving away the darkness the other one roamed in?

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