Smoke and Ash

4 | Honorary Family Member

I shot up in the motel bed, closing my eyes and leaning my head back down against my hand, drawing my legs up to my chest and leaning my elbows on my knees.

    A light knock came on the door. "Hey, Bellamy, Sam's awake. And we got Cass here."

    "That's great." I said in a squeaky voice, controlling my thundering heartbeat.

     "Hey. You okay?" he asked after a while.

    "I'm fine."

    The door opened and he walked in, keeping the light off. "Okay, yeah, something's definitely wrong. No snarky comeback?"

    "Not in the mood." I answered, keeping my head against my hands. "What're you doing here? I thought you were pissed at me."

    "I still am." he answered, sitting on the edge of my bed. "But that doesn't mean I can't help you with whatever you're going through."

    "I'm not 'going through' anything." I said, lifting my head up from my hands to look at him.

    "If you weren't going through anything, you wouldn't be like this." he said simply.

    "I'm fine. Go be with Sam." I said.

    He made no move to leave. He just kept looking at me with those green eyes. Those very attractive green eyes.

    "Leave." I said.

    He shook his head. "Not until you tell me what going on."

    "It was just a bad memory, okay? I've had plenty of them before. Don't worry about it." I said, shutting him down.

    "What was it about?"

    "Just leave." I said hostility.

    "No. Tell me. You'll feel better."

    "What would make me feel better is if you leave me alone!" I said, my voice raising and I got out of bed, turning on a lamp light and walking around to the mirror, looking at my tired reflection in it: dark bags under my green eyes, my dark hair tangled, and my skin pale and sickly—but that was normal.

    He stood up, his hand lightly wrapping around my wrist.

    "Stop." I jerked my hand away from him quickly, lightly rubbing my wrist where his skin touched.

He looked at me silently in the mirror, his expression going from mild anger into concern. "...did something happen?"

I kept my hand on my wrist, shaking my head. "Don't pretend that you care. Just leave me be."

"Bianca." he said my name without a hint of frustration or annoyance. His voice filled with concern.

I looked back at him, keeping myself rooted by the mirror. "I don't...like it when people touch me without warning." I said, "My father..before he became well...my father. His kingdom was about to be attacked by the other Realms. So he made a deal. He took me out to the borders of our kingdoms and chained my wrists to a tree so the Realms citizens and rulers would kill me. Every day....for years." I took in a steadying breath. "The deal was that they could have me in exchange for my father to keep his kingdom safe."

Dean stayed silent.

"Because of what I am, I couldn't die. But I still felt it." I said, my eyes burning with tears. "I could still feel every single second of torture they put me through to satisfy themselves. And my father just let it happen." I could feel the tears streaming down my face. "A father's supposed to protect you. The only thing he ever did for me was cause me pain!"