A Choice with Regrets [Levi Ackerman]

44

Two Months Later

When a fall leaf drops, Levi will return home. He said so in the letter I received. Ever since he left, we agreed to write to each other. Aside from training fresh soldiers, he informs me about his new Special Operations Squad. Their names are Eld, Gunther, Oulo, and Petra. Then it hits me. Viktor, Zaiya, and Abel. They were my last from the start.

The three letters I received from him within two months somewhat sound like a military report, but I know he is trying his hardest to convey his heartfelt feelings in the letters. Though he is busy, he will write to me with every chance he gets which I find endearing of him.

In Wall Rose, there is a disease outbreak in refugee camps and it is only getting worse when more refugees flee to the inner walls from Wall Maria. The population has been increasing within Wall Rose, occupying more lands and farms where refugees continue to face forced labor in this outbreak. Many also lack food and medicine to fight off the disease, meaning their chance of survival is very slim.

This infectious disease has been around for some time, and to this day, only one-fourth of the population in Wall Rose is suffering. According to Vina, the orphanage is also affected when more children settle in. There is a fog in my head that prevents me from remembering the details of how this came to be. My heart sinks when I learn that Milo has fallen sick, while Diana and Ray are fine according to Vina's husband who is a doctor in the area. The rest of the children along with adults have coughs, but fortunately for us, the orphanage is supplied with plenty of medicine. I just hope it will last long enough since medicine is in high demand.

Lately, I have been feeling a bit unwell myself; more tired than usual. At my cabin, Vina's husband pays me a visit to check for any threats to my health. At the dining table, I share my symptoms with him which are fatigue and nausea. After listening, he presses two fingers to check the pulse in my wrist and after a moment of silence, he draws away with his brows drawn together.

"From what you've been telling me, you are most likely pregnant." The doctor announces which causes my eyes to widen and I brush a hand over my abdomen. Since he notices my surprised reaction, he blinks. "Did you know?"

My jaw hangs open as I slowly shake my head in response. "I... was expecting to be at risk of the disease."

"Oh, no. These symptoms are common at the early stage of pregnancy." He reassures. "But, I do suggest you stay indoors for the time being. Catching this disease will become a fragile situation during your pregnancy."

"Thank you, doctor. I will do just that." I secretly smile to myself until I lower my gaze with realization. I wonder if bringing a child into this world is the right choice. What will Levi think?

"See you again, Miss Sina. Avoid the cold wind and rest lots." He then leaves the cabin.

⚔︎

Four Days Later

The trees begin to lose their leaves when Levi returns home from the military. I am relieved after waiting anxiously for his return and throw my arms around his neck to press our lips together. He holds me with firmness since he misses me just as much and when I stare into his tired eyes, I can see the pain he is carrying from recent expeditions. To help him wind down, I prepare a picnic on the grassy field outside the cabin. I laid out a thin blanket over the grass before we sat down to enjoy some sandwiches.

Levi is already dressed in his gray shirt and black pants, and I know he is already finding comfort here... with me. Together, we watch the falling leaves. Our moment of silence gets interrupted when Levi sits up to speak. "I heard about this disease going around ever since I got back. Are you alright?"

I can hear his concern, so I sit up. "Don't worry. I had a doctor come to examine me, and I am not at risk."

"But what will happen if you do catch it? I fear you will get sick while I'm gone."

"Don't think that way," I beg him. "Listen, ever since this disease started spiraling, I have been thinking about moving to Ehrmich District."

"Ehrmich District?" Levi raises a brow. "Do you really want to be in Wall Sina? The Military Police is probably still searching for you."

"That may be true, but I'm planning to live there until the disease comes to an end. Who knows how long that will take?" I willingly reach over for his hand to bring it towards me. "When that happens, we will continue to wait for you in Wall Rose."

"What do you mean we?" Levi frowns in confusion when I place his hand over my belly.

"It's me... and our baby."

At this very moment, Levi's widened silver-blue orbs shine bright in the sun and his mouth hangs open at the sudden news. I smile nervously, unsure of what he is feeling until he tugs me for a tight embrace. We both fall back on the picnic blanket and my face is buried in his strong, warm chest. His heart is thumping rapidly and I assume it is excitement rushing through his veins.

"Marry me, Sina," Levi whispers in a deep tone, causing my cheeks to flush at his heartfelt demand. "I promise I will protect you and our baby. We will become a happy family. I will give our child everything. Everything that I never had when I was a child."

I relax when his hand rubs over my belly and take a deep breath in, then out. "Will it be alright to bring our child... into this world?"

"I will do everything in my power to make our child feel alive in this world," Levi promises before planting a soft kiss on my forehead.

"Promise me you won't die. I cannot imagine our child being fatherless." I say worriedly when I imagine the possible scenario on top of my head and Levi chuckles at my sad expression.

"That is an easy promise. But if I die so suddenly, I promise I will look for you in every lifetime." Levi reassures. "I hope we meet again, but in a world free from titans. Free from pain and suffering. Just free."

My shoulders no longer tense up at his comforting words, yet they were bittersweet. As optimistic as I can be, I whisper, "All I can think of right now is growing old together with you."

Levi cracks a breathy smile and uses his free hand to brush the hair away to reveal my face entirely, admiring me. "And I am confident you will still be as beautiful as you are now."

⚔︎

After a heartwarming picnic, we head back into the cabin before the sunset. For some reason, a wave of tiredness hits me. My body is constantly reminding me that I am pregnant. I do not have the energy to cook us dinner, so Levi insists on cooking. Since the temperature has been going down recently, Levi decides to cook a warm meal, hoping it will replenish my energy for the rest of the day.

Levi guides me into the bedroom and lays me in bed before bringing the blanket over to my chin. "You relax. I will cook you some soup."

After a slight nod, he leans down to peck me on the nose and steps out, leaving the door slightly open. The room is poorly lit with a few candles and I fall asleep until a noise comes from the doorway. My eyes crack open to find Levi stepping in with a wooden tray with a bowl of soup and placing it down on the bedside cabinet. Levi adds a pillow between me and the headboard to support my back when I sit up. Lastly, he takes a seat next to the bed and insists on feeding me the soup he cooked.

Every spoonful was delightful and I finished the soup to watch Levi lean back in his seat, staring blankly at my hand. I can tell he is exhausted when his eyes become heavy. Without a word, I leaned over to take his hands and drag him into bed since I was feeling lonely. His body gives in and when I throw the blanket over us, I hug him tight before kissing him on the cheek.

"Thank you, Levi. I love you." I smile against the crook of his neck and eventually, we fall asleep, finding peace within each other once more.