A Choice with Regrets [Levi Ackerman]

28

[Sina's POV]

Harsh winter. And because winter came on, we cannot travel temporarily due to the heavy snow. The weather is bitterly cold and everyone is in furs, working in the forest by chopping up some firewood.

The snow is beautiful, white, and crystal-like. The trees are gorgeous, and the grass is no longer green but white, what a wonderful sight to see.

Levi orders our squad to clean inside the headquarters from top to bottom, so we stay busy in this weather. Our horses also need to be sheltered for warmth and well-fed to keep them sane. This whole time, we have been keeping ourselves busy until the winter becomes less troublesome, so we can continue on other expeditions.

Suddenly, I remember Erwin, and what he said to me about the walls. His desire to find the truth is also something that motivates me to change the world, but I think the world will somehow change me. I hope it's for the best so I can live a happy life. Because of that, I started to believe there's a bigger world waiting for us out there.

My eyes are constantly wide open to the extraordinary fact of existence. Not just human existence, but the existence of life. Humanity was born from conflict. Maybe that's why we all have a dark side. Some of us choose to embrace it and some have no choice. The rest of us fight it. But in the end, it's as natural as the air we breathe. I think that if we are going to reform the world and make it a better place to live in, the way to do it is by leading humanity to face the truth beyond the walls. Maybe that's what Erwin meant the last time we spoke to each other.

⚔︎

The snow stops falling in the middle of the night and I finish up leading the horses back to their stable. After doing so, I rub my hands together to warm them up and my breath is visible in the freezing air. In the corner of my eyes, I notice a warm light flickering in the woods, so I decide to go see what it is. Upon arrival through the snow, there is a lit campfire for this cold night. Wondering who might be staying here, I can't help but sit next to the crackling fire to warm myself up.

As I relax by the fire, I hear footsteps in front of me, and to my surprise, my eyes meet Zaiya's when she returns with more firewood. Zaiya was in shock when she had unexpected company, but without questioning me, she set the firewood next to the campfire. For some strange reason, she sat right beside me and I awkwardly laughed to break the ice between us. "Sorry, I didn't know this was your spot."

"It's whatever," she says rather bluntly. "It's been a long day so I do not care too much."

"So what brings you out here?" I ask just to spark a conversation with her. I would regret not getting to know her better, and we are the only females on the squad. Might as well have a lady's talk for once.

"I don't know if I'm being honest." Zaiya sighs, leaning forward to hug her knees and rest her chin. "This place brings me some comfort and reminds me of home a little..."

Hearing Zaiya say that makes me pity her because she has a struggle of her own as well. I then ask, "Don't you want to go see your family?"

"I'm afraid I can't yet." she sounded hesitant. "Not until I'm done fighting."

"But what about your sister? And your father? They must be really worried."

"I'm sure they're fine, at least for now," Zaiya says calmly. "If anything ever happens in Trost District, I will find them."

We both stare at the campfire as the cold wind whistles into our numb ears. Despite her frightening appearance, she is soft. I can sense that the fire is reminding Zaiya of her dark past, and as expected, she speaks up. "My family and I are from Wall Rose, and ever since we got here, I think back on the moment when my village was attacked and burned down by thieves. They tortured and murdered us on the spot; we were like slain cattle." she then continues, her voice shaking. "I even watched my mother and little brother get crushed by our house as they were being burned alive. Their blood-curdling screams are still engraved in my head... it keeps me up at night..."