A Choice with Regrets [Levi Ackerman]

46

Year 849

[Levi's POV]

Weeks have passed. As each day went by, my concern for Sina grew intensely, because she was almost due. Or perhaps, she has already given birth. If so, I feel even more regretful for not being present enough during her pregnancy. As much as I desire to be there for her, my responsibility as a soldier is not over yet.

Aside from the expeditions, I also began to worry about Sina, because she stopped writing back to me. It is very unusual of her, so I begin to overthink. Is she upset with me? Or worse, did she give up on me?

After returning to Wall Rose from another failed yet gruesome expedition, I am eager to find answers from Sina. I eventually got a week off to return to Ehrmich District. Faster than ever. Why do I feel pessimistic about all this?

It took nearly three days to reach Wall Sina and when I pass through the entrance of Ehrmich District, I crack the reins of my horse to gallop through the town. My heart jogs with anxiety when I locate the house and climb off to knock on the door. "Sina!"

Nothing. So I knock harder. "It's me, Levi! I'm sorry I—"

The door creaks open and to my surprise, it isn't Sina. My eyes level with Nurse Eden and her face turns pale at my presence. It's almost like she had seen a ghost. "C-Captain..."

"Nurse Eden..." I clench my jaw to swallow, then relax it. "Where is Sina?"

For some reason, Nurse Eden is lost for words. Her eyes are searching around but me and finally, she sets a hand over her mouth to cry.

My eyes widen in pure fear. I become obscured yet I attempt to dismiss the worst that could transpire. Maybe, the worst did happen. "Where the hell is she...?"

Nurse Eden strides to the side when I barge in to hunt for the answer myself. As I scan the living room, Sina is nowhere to be caught sight of. My heart aches even more when I eye Nurse Eden silently walk to a wooden table; her back facing me. When she turns around, my gazes finally land on a stone jar in her arms—no, it is an urn.

At this very point, my entire world clouds over. My mouth hung open as my emotions were impotent to control. I am in complete denial. "No..."

Every step feels like a mile when I reach closer and finally, I drop to my knees. Sorrow takes possession of me and I shakingly take the urn into my arms. This time, I am convinced. This urn is indeed Sina's, keeping every last bit of her... where she is no longer in her physical form. A blueless bird that no longer sings her sweet melodies. Just cold and still. Soulless.

Then it hits me harder since her life came to an end so soon. Why did she have to leave this world without me?

Nurse Eden watches me choke back my tears and finds the courage to talk. "She passed after giving birth... She lost a ton of blood and—"

"This is all my fault..." It was me. I'm the one who made her suffer. If only I hadn't made her reside inside the walls and catch the disease, perhaps she would still be here. All I ever wanted was a peaceful life with her. If I had managed to destroy all evil sooner, would we have been able to live the life we dreamed of? With our friends? Our child?

On top of that, Sina made the greatest sacrifice. She made it possible for our child to be born. But doing so cost her own life.

I bring the urn close to my chest with absolute remorse in my heart and Nurse Eden hands me a sealed letter with teary eyes.