Tessa's Home

Twenty-eight

Tessa

Two days.

There are only two days left until I turn seventeen, along with my built-in best friend.

Two days until my first proper birthday in four long years.

Two days until I get to celebrate my first ever teenage birthday.

And two days until I have to give Killian an answer I don't have.

I don't know what to do. I want to say yes. I want to say yes so, so bad. But I'm scared.

For one, Viper is still a big problem. If, somehow, he finds out that I'm dating Killian, he might kill him.

And, also, what if things don't work out between us? We're not even adults yet, and how often do teenage romances actually work out?

I don't want to lose him for good because we tried and failed. He's my forever and I want to keep it that way.

But I also want to kiss him again. God, it was fucking amazing. Nothing like I've ever felt before.

When Viper would kiss me, I'd hate every second of it. Not just because of who he is, either.

His kisses were rough, dry and honestly painful.

But with Killian...god, it was surreal. The way we moved as one, the heat between us, the smoothness of his lips.

How does he kiss so good? It makes me a little jealous. He's had a girlfriend before. Did he practice with her?

I'm not even his girlfriend yet, and I'm already getting jealous.

Yet. Does that mean I'm gonna say yes? But I can't. But I want to. I have to.

But it's so fucking risky. Is it worth it? Should I just put it off until I've gotten rid of Viper for good?

But I want to touch him and kiss him and love him again. I want to sit on his lap in his car and kiss until we can't breathe again.

"What do I do?" I groan, flopping down onto my bed. "Tell me what to do, Hazel."

"You know I can't do that, Tee," she says, laughing. She lays down next to me with a smile. "You like him, don't you?"

I nod. "Yes. I think so. I mean, my heart beats quicker when he's near and my skin tingles wherever he's touched. And the kiss, oh, god, Hazel, that fucking kiss."

She laughs and flops over onto her belly, resting her chin in her hands with a big grin on her face.

"I know," she says, "you won't shut up about it."

I laugh and sit up on my elbows. "I'm sorry, but I'm really not. It was fucking amazing."

"Well, it sounds like you've already got an answer, Tee. What's holding you back?" I look down sadly, not sure what to say.

"I don't know," I mumble. "I just don't want to risk losing him forever because we thought we would be highschool sweethearts or something."

She sighs, and looks up, thinking. "Isn't it worth the risk, though? I can tell how much you love him. How much he loves you. And it's love, Tee. Not 'like', not just some crush. You love each other. Isn't that a big enough sign?"

I groan again, but nod anyway. "Yes. I don't know. I just need to make a pros and cons list or something. I've got two days. That's enough time, right?"

She nods, and then says, "since we're on the topic, I think I should tell you I've got a crush. Not like you do, but I still like him. A lot."

"Does his name start with 'T' and end with 'yler'?" I ask, smirking at her tinted cheeks.