Behind The Lines *WW2 Fan-fiction*

Chapter 20

After every mission, the boys would come and check up on me and see how I'm doing.  Aiello was wounded but still wanted to fight, he just had his wounds checked every day.
Me? I was bed bound. Fucking Nazis.

"You're up." Zuss smiled as he walked in and placed a cup of water on my table for me.
I gave him a little smile and watched him sit on a chair near me.
"How are you feeling?" He asked with concern laced in his voice.

I didn't have the willpower to actually say much ever since that night. But this time I decided to try.

"I..." Immediately I stopped to take a deep breath as I could feel the tears brimming.
Zuss gently reached for my hand and rubbed my knuckles with his thumb as he waited patiently for me to answer.

"I feel humiliated. Is this how men really see me? Aiello was punched and kicked a few times, yes... But I was..." I couldn't manage to say the word so I just looked away defeated.

Zussman wiped some of the tears that spilled with his thumb.
"I'm sorry." He whispered softly but I shook my head profusely.
"Please don't." I glanced in his direction and sighed softly to myself. "Please don't apologise, Zuss." I gently reached for his hand and squeezed it lightly.
"I just need to..."

"Heidi?" Aiello's voice could be heard from the entrance. We both look over at him and I see his eyes locked on to our hands. I noticed his eyes darken for a second but he cleared his throat and slightly shook his head.
Zuss and I let go of each other and I gave a small smile to Aiello.
"I didn't know you were here, Zussman." Aiello nonchalantly uttered.
Zuss then nodded and looked over at me with a smile.
"Just seeing how Heidi was holding up. I can give you some privacy?" Zussman offered as he stood from his seat. Aiello simply nodded and muttered a "thank you" to Zuss, watching him leave the room.

"How are you?" Aiello instantly took the seat Zuss previously sat in and stared into my eyes, desperate for honesty.
I faked a smile through the slight pain in my thighs and looked directly at him.
"I'm better now. Ready to get back out there." I nudged him playfully but he didn't seem to be amused, instead, he looked away. I sighed at his lack of response and crossed my arms.
"Frank," He glanced at me but immediately looked away again.
"Frank, please look at me." I reached out for his arm but before I could touch him, he pulled back.

"I can't do this, Heidi."
My heart sank once again.

"None of this would have happened if I wasn't such a fucking idiot." He had his head in his hands, pushing his hair back repeatedly.
"I overreacted over nothing, held a fucking knife to you for god's sake! And I couldn't protect you from those evil fuckers."

"But I'm okay. I'm still alive, Frank." But all he did was shake his head.
"For fuck's sake, Heidi! Look at you! This isn't okay!" He shouted as a few tears fell from his eyes. My heart raced and my stomach was tied in knots at all of this.

"I can't just pretend like this is okay. I can't! It's not fair on you!" He cried out in anger, finally lifting his head to look at me. I didn't know what else to say to him. All I could do was listen.

"I am so, so sorry. I really am. I would rather die than have you put through that! I wish I had the chance to let them do the worst to me and just let you go! I feel helpless! I watched you get raped, Heidi!" He spluttered and poured his heart out as he sobbed more.
"I watched the woman I fell for so hard get raped! And I feel like I don't even deserve to be alive right now!"

"Frank..."

"And I still can't believe I'm able to function and you're here, bed bound!"

"Frank."

"I'm so sorry-"

"Frank!"

My voice was louder and overpowering enough for him to finally stop. He looked at me with wide eyes, waiting for me to say something to him.
I took a deep breath and slowly shifted myself on my bed.
"I am fine. I am alive and I'm recovering every day. That's enough for me." My voice had lowered and I wiped the few tears that rolled down my cheeks.
"Everything is going to be okay. I am not holding this shit against you." He wiped his own tears and leaned back in his chair.

I paused for a second before continuing.
"I am a woman fighting in a war that is male dominated. I was told when I enlisted that I should expect certain behaviours of men." My voice was shaky and I clenched my bed sheets as I watched Aiello raise a brow at my statement.
"You... Please tell me you aren't blaming yourself for this." He pleaded as he moved closer to me.
I gave him a small smile and stared directly into his eyes.
"It is a shame this has happened. I'm ashamed I let myself be caught off guard like that. I thought I was better than this..." My smile turned sorrowful as my eyes trailed from the wall to the ground.

"I don't want you to blame yourself for this. If you do, I'll end up wishing I was dead myself." I chuckled dryly and my gaze at the ground continued.
"I promised myself I wouldn't let anyone do that to me again." I quietly added as I could feel a few more tears threatening to spill but I managed to hold them back with the bit of strength I had left.

I turned to Aiello and saw concern plastered all over his face.
"I'm going to get some sleep. I'll see you soon." I turned on my side, facing away from him, letting the tears finally fall onto my cheek pressed against the pillow.

I heard him let out a shaky breath as he stood up. I felt him rub my back a couple times before listening to his footsteps get further and further away.
That was my cue to sob quietly to myself.

I couldn't let Aiello sit there and mope around about this. I signed up for this and I knew there would be so many men, allies and enemies. I listened to my family warn me about possible dangers. I mean, these soldiers haven't felt the touch of a woman in so long from being here.

Was I justifying what happened to me? Yes and no. I guess you could say I'm absolutely wrong for my thinking. It's just difficult when I made strict promises to myself that were broken not so long ago.

My friends have helped me feel secure being the only female in the platoon. I'm eternally grateful for that.

My crying eventually slowed down as I drifted off to sleep. Hopefully a nice dream was waiting for me.

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Aiello POV

I wiped my eyes harshly to try and hide the fact I had been crying whilst I made my way back to the tent.

"Hey." Daniels greeted me as the other two looked up from each other. I nodded to them all and flashed a grin.

"She's gonna get some sleep." I told them and  they nodded in response.
"Cool. We can visit her later on." Stiles said as he cleaned his glasses.

I walked over to Zuss and he stood up.
"I'm sorry for being so blank back there." I apologised but he embraced me in a hug and patted my back.
"She feels the same, man. I just know it." He said in my ear. "Just give her time. Plenty of it."
We both pulled away and I smiled at him.
"Thanks."

I love her.
And I won't let anyone do this to her again.

Thank you for being so patient with me! I hope everyone had an amazing holiday season!

<3