Ada's Story - Kinnporsche Universe

Chapter 12 - Please tell me

A few days later there was the “anniversary” of my kidnapping, an occurrence that still now makes me extremely nervous. That day meant a continuous flow of memories, despair, fear and anxiety. It also meant nightmares, very detailed nightmares of those months.
But that day was going to be different, because Tasanee decided that I would spend the entire day with her, also sleeping at her place. I was so nervous, I was afraid to react badly or to scare her away from me. I was afraid to show her my weakness, afraid that she would use it as a weapon against me. But I went to her house anyway.
I arrived at her place at ten in the morning, her greeting me at the door with a warm and tight hug “How are you?” She asked me with a big smile
“I don’t know.. but I feel better after seeing you” I smiled back.
We stayed together all day, watching tv shows, cuddling, her making me feel comfortable, bringing snacks for us and fooling around to make me laugh occasionally.

Night came sooner than I expected. It was almost midnight, Tasanee was sleepy, closing her eyes from time to time, her head falling on my shoulder “Ada.. I'm tired.. Can we go to sleep?” she asked, hugging my arm
“Yes.. let's go” I replied, getting up and nervously going into Tasanee's bedroom.
We both got ready for bed and hoped inside the warm covers, her falling asleep almost immediately and me staring at the ceiling, heart beating fast and breath hitching. I hugged Tasanee to try to comfort myself and I closed my eyes, trying not to think about the nightmares that were waiting for me.
I understood after a couple of minutes that I wasn’t going to fall asleep so easily, so I opened my eyes, but I couldn’t find Tasanee by my side. I simply thought she went to the bathroom and didn’t notice because I was tired.
I sat on the bed, waiting for her to come back, but instead I heard a very loud sound from outside the room, like something big falling on the ground.
I quickly got up and approached the door “Tasanee? Was that you? Are you ok?” I asked, my ear pressed on the door. No one replied, I just heard footsteps approaching the door.
I started to panic and as soon as I tried to lock the door, someone was already trying to open it, pushing it with all their might.
I tried to block the door, putting all my body weight into doing so, but the person slammed it open, revealing themselves: he was Sunan, all burned up, missing some skin in random parts of his body, blood staining his face and clothes, furious as hell, looking at me with rage in his eyes “I FOUND YOU!” he yelled, his voice raspy and broken, his breath heavy, probably due to all the smoke he inhaled in the fire.
I screamed on top of my lungs, tears starting to fall on my cheeks. He approached me, walking slowly, making me back off more and more. I couldn’t even speak, incoherent words escaping my mouth in between the desperate sobs. He eventually reached me, placing his burned and bloody hands on my throat, tightening his grip more and more. I felt the air escaping my lungs, my body giving up, legs numbing and eyes closing.
I remember seeing his twisted smile once again before abruptly waking up, hyperventing, sweating, crying, with Tasanee's hands on my face “Ada! Calm down. It's me, don’t worry. What happened?” she said softly, embracing me
“He.. he was here.. Sunan..” I tried to explain, not realizing it was just a nightmare
“He is not here.. it's just you and me” she assured me, caressing my back gently.
It took me a good amount of time to get back to my senses. She asked me what I dreamt, what I saw, who Sunan was, but I couldn’t tell her, it was too painful.
We just cuddled all night, eventually sleeping peacefully, hugging each other.

After that episode, we continued our relationship like nothing happened, but I could see there was something off with Tasanee. She seemed very thoughtful, and a bit detached from me, like she was pissed about something.
I decided to confront her about a month after that night, to understand what happened to her.
We were in a quiet spot of the park we often went to, laying next to each other, watching the sky
“Tasanee.. can I ask you something..?”
“Yes, go on” she simply said
“Did something happen? After that night you seem pretty cold towards me” I said, a bit scared of her reaction
"Actually yes. Why the fuck you still can't talk to me about what happened to you?! Also, it's been quite a while since we are together and you didn’t even give me a kiss! I'm not asking you to fuck with me right here, but at least a kiss.. or at least tell me what happened to you! I'm starting to get tired of this redundant behavior between us.. please tell me what happened! I'm tired of all of this!” she spat out, every word stinging my heart like little needles
“I.. I can’t..” I simply said, trying not to cry
“See?! Of course you can't! You can never fucking talk about that! How do you think I feel about all of this? I feel like you don't trust me!” she sat up, not even looking at me. At that point I started crying and I couldn’t even speak
“You won't even speak up now, will you? Of course not.. you’re crying, like always” she added, laughing a bit after, sadness evident in her voice
“I think we should take a break” she then added after some seconds of silence, abruptly. That sentence broke me.
She quickly got up, picked her stuff and went back home, leaving me there with that information that completely killed me.
That day when I came back home I was devastated: I wanted to be more open, to be more touchy with her, I loved her and I wanted to love her like she deserves, but I couldn’t do any of these things because I was too weak. I felt guilty, I felt like it was all my fault.
And it was.