Caught in the Middle

Chapter 16

"Hey, Bishop. That was a great job you did clearing that house. Your calls have been superb these last few months." I untangle the towel from my hair when I hear Andy walk into the locker room. I slowly nod at her, not exactly knowing how to respond to her. "Thank you, Captain." I slip a clean shirt on, but keep it unbuttoned before turning to the door Andy just entered from. She clearly doesn't know how to talk to me anymore either, since she's playing with her fingers instead of saying what's on her mind.

"Hey, Cap! Bishop, we're planning on getting pizza for dinner if you guys want to give me your order?" Vic walks out of the steaming bathroom while rubbing lotion on her arms. I close my locker after taking my laptop out, laying it down on the bench behind me so I can put my shoes on. "I'm good, thanks Hughes." She looks at our captain to say something about my latest excuse to skip dinner with my team while I'm on shift with them.

"Seriously, Maya. It's just dinner. Come on, live a little and join us." I get up with my laptop tucked underneath my arm before I meet Vic's gaze. "I appreciate the invite, but I had a big lunch with Beckett before we split up for our shifts. If it will make you guys feel better, I can set up in the kitchen while you eat and do my reports there." I patiently wait for her response which she only gives when Vic bumps her with her shoulder.

"Jeez, Mai. This team is a family, and we like to eat dinner together when we get the chance, okay? No need to be a dick about it." I sigh in irritation at both the way they make me out to be a bitch for declining their invitation, but also because of how hard they've been trying to pretend like nothing happened over the past few months. Funny how they didn't seem to mind excluding me from the so-called family dinners before, when I was still seen as enemy number one.

I can't wait for this project to be over so I can move to station 64 for good. A-shift at 19 has become my least favorite station to work at over the last couple of months. Before Sullivan and Ross got caught out, and he got permanently transferred to 88, it was a borderline hostile work environment. Getting called names behind my back and even to my face, being shunned by the team that did in fact feel like my family in the past and worst of all, having every one of my calls questioned because of personal vendettas.

Now all of a sudden, the success of my calls has been stellar over the last few months, but a few weeks ago no one other than Beckett and Jack wanted to follow my lead. I had to waste time in proving why I don't agree with my captain's orders when I'm the lieutenant in charge inside the scene while she's calling the shots outside. Not because they thought I dropped the ball, or because they were afraid that I'd make mistakes on the job, or because they thought my breakdown somehow influenced my decision-making.

No, all of this happened because they lost their faith in me as a person. Not that I believe that they ever really found any faith in me to begin with. Since the day I got promoted to captain of 19, it feels like I've been trying to prove myself and fight for an ounce of respect and trust from this team. And after everything that happened last year and the fight I had to put up to drag myself out of my own personal hell, I just didn't have the energy to try and be what this family wants me to be for them anymore.

I've been at this station for thirteen years and thought that these people were my family because of it, but a few days a week with other stations made me realize how wrong my assumptions were. I've felt more at home with complete strangers than I have within these four walls for months. Those exact actions of this team make me doubt the sincerity of Andy's olive branch now. Because one wrong step in its direction can make the whole tree come falling down, and I'll be the first person to be discarded in order for them to save their house.

I roll my eyes when Andy clears her throat as an act of dominance, crossing her arms over her chest and taking a stance that shows the power she wields. "Listen, Bishop. I know Beckett and Gibson are at different stations tonight, but you don't have to isolate yourself from the rest of us. Can we just put the past behind us and move forward?" Vic looks between Andy and me, anxiously waiting for the day I'll accept their apology.