Caught in the Middle

Chapter 33

"Thanks for helping me out with this, Dr. Lewis." I answer the video call on my laptop, trying my absolute best to get it connected to Amelia's TV. A few choice curse words leave my lips as I place the laptop on the coffee table, pressing every button on the remote until the screen finally synchronizes. "You're not usually this disorganized, Bishop." My therapists voice startles me as I slip down the couch to rest my back against it whilst sitting on the floor.

"Carina is at their new weekly firefighter support ladies night, or whatever her new group of friends dubbed themselves as. And insisted that we stay over at Amelia's place tonight. The sophisticated surgeon's stuff is a lot fancier and a lot more complicated than mine." I use the TV as a second screen, opening all the files I'll need so I can share my screen with her. "How have things been going in that department? Have any of your intimate times been interrupted by the voices again?" I stop typing on the keyboard, leaning back against the couch while I take a sip of my coffee.

She chuckles when my cheeks blush crimson, not exactly expecting this call to turn into a therapy session. "Our relationship has never been stronger, to be honest. And it kind of breaks my heart that the draft divorce papers in Carina's office, is the reason for it." I start playing with the ring on my finger, still remembering my wife's angry growl when I stole the papers out of her hands before she could rip them up. We decided to keep it hidden in a place we didn't share, so her office got the short straw.

She's mildly annoyed with Diane too when she found out she's in agreement with my plan. She then made our lawyer add a clause to the draft papers that states sex at least three times a week or she gets the Becketts in the divorce. Right under the clause that says she's allowed to have me committed again should either of us feel the need to sign them, and the papers are only allowed to be filed once we tried everything to make it work. I then added one myself that said that if I were to ever lay my hands on Carina, that she has to go to the police and file a charge.

The unsigned papers are now gathering dust in a lonely drawer in her desk, never to be touched. "We've talked about this, Bishop. It's still progress. You knew what you needed, and you weren't too scared to ask for it." I nod my head since I know she's talking facts. And as angry as my wife was with having that envelope so close to her, she also understood my reasoning behind it. "I don't know if I would have been able to do it if she was the one who asked for divorce papers." Diane smiles warmly, asking me what the conclusion is to that. "It means my wife really loves me."

She winks at me, reminding me once again of how far I've come from the days I didn't believe anyone loved me. "Things have been going so well and I hate that I hurt her again because my head isn't screwed on straight." Diane ticks her tongue at me, her irritation clear over the screen. "If you don't stop blaming yourself for having mental health issues, you won't get rid of the clouds, Bishop." I nod my head along while she talks, tapping my fingertip against the rim of my cup.

"I'm going to get through this, right? I'm so tired of having to keep fighting my own mind in order to find some happiness." Her face turns compassionate at my vulnerability, but she still looks like a stern parent. "How's Carina dealing with things? I know we talked about the fight you guys had after you had sex again, but has she discussed her side of things with you? What her feelings are in relation to your voices?"

I look around the living room, at the organized mess of two great friends making this place their own. "We had a long and honest conversation after her last session with her own therapist. I tried explaining why I'm feeling this way, and she told me how it impacted her. It's surprisingly nice to talk things out instead of running away. It's new for both of us, but so much better than being afraid to be honest." A proud smile splits her face in half, and I love how we have so many people rooting for our happiness.