Amethyst for a smile
God Joel: Oh, Lizzie?
Mayor Lizzie: Hello! To what do I owe this pleasure?
God Joel: Well, I've heard you're in the business of amethyst.
Mayor Lizzie: I am. I do have the most advanced amethyst mine in the entire world.
God Joel: Um, how much amethyst could I get... for a smile?
Mayor Lizzie: A smile?
God Joel: A smile, a big, cheeky smile from me, the god next door.
*later*
Mayor Lizzie: Who does he think he is? Amethyst for a smile? I can't build an empire with smiles! Look at all this precious amethyst! The jewel of my empire! I'll give him a foxload, all right.
God Joel: *impatiently waiting* I hope a foxload is a lot.
Joel's house is on fire
Joel: Do not come over to my house. If the house is on fire, you may knock once, if I don't answer, assume I set the fire and I want to burn to death.
False's memory
False: Hello, I'm False. I rule an empire now. Here to help. Look, they gave me a badge with my name on it in case I forget it. Very helpful, as that does happen.
Lizzie's mumbo jumbo
Lizzie: Why's it called an oven when you of in the cold food and you of out hot eat the food?
Joel: ... What???
The last page
Pix: Look, I'm glad everyone's on the same page. But it's the last page in a book titled 'we're all going to die'.
Scott: That's not even clever.
Lizzie's crayons
King Joel: You have crayons?
Ocean Queen Lizzie: Yes, I have—
King Joel: You're— how old are you?
Ocean Queen Lizzie: YES, I AM A FEW CENTURIES OLD AND I HAVE CRAYONS, I HAVE A BOX OF EMERGENCY CRAYONS IN THE CABINET UNDER THE TV BECAUSE EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS SOMETIMES, OKAY? EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS.
Joel's complex
God Joel: Some people say that I have a god complex. I'd like to think that I'm a complex god.
Gem doesn't take Sausage seriously
Lord Sausage: You know guys, sometimes I feel like Gem doesn't take me seriously enough.
Count fWhip of the Grimlands: 'Sometimes'?
Wizard Gem: 'Enough'?
Lord Sausage: ...
Wizard Gem: Change that to 'at all' and we'll talk.
Oli out of a paper bag
False: He couldn't find his way out of a paper bag.
Oli: That's not true! I found my way out of a paper bag yesterday!
Sausage's prayer
Sausage of Sanctuary: Forgive me, Madre de Girasoles, for I have sinny-sin-sinned.
Oli's in charge
Pix: Where is everyone?
Oli: False had a nervous collapse, Katherine is looking after her, and Pirate Joe is trying to kill Great Witch Shelby, so I'm in charge.
Pix: Oh my-!
Oli: I know, right?
YOU ARE READING
Empires SMP incorrect quotes
FanfictionEven though it says this book is completed, I will actually be posting whenever I feel like it. I just don't know how to end a book that could go on indefinitely... So anyway, this book will have quotes that the Empires SMP members actually said, st...
