𝓻𝓸𝓼𝓮𝓼 & 𝓬𝓲𝓰𝓪𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓼 • 𝓭.𝔀𝓲𝓷𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓷 | ✓ |

2. 𝓲𝓶 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓮

                                        |2|
"i'm already hurt."
|HAPPINESS IS A BUTTERFLY; LANA DEL|| ||REY||
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
i wake up to a gentle tap on my shoulder. my eyes slowly open and immediately are welcomed by the early morning sunlight.

"bella, you awake?" johnny calm voice asked.

"mm." i groan groggily, rolling over to face him. "yea, i'm awake."

i lean up to sit on the grass and stretch.

all of a sudden, a wave of pain rushes through my chest, as if i had just been sucker punched. i leaned over to hold my chest and groaned in pain.

johnny got by my side quickly and brought his face down to meet mine. he seemed very concerned.

"bella? bella!?"

the climax of the pain ended after only a second, but i was still in pain. i hated seeming like a burden, and when people were concerned about me.

"i'm alright johnnycakes. don't worry 'bout me."

"what do you mean not to worry 'bout you? this is serious, why would i not worry 'bout ya?" johnny asked in a concerned tone.

my mind then flashed back to the time johnny got jumped by bob and those other socs. when we found him, he was covered in blood and in far more pain than i was just in.

i remember it all too well.

"it's okay, johnnycake, they're gone now. it's okay." soda said while holding johnny. he used his hands to run them through johnny's hair to soothe him.

johnny was breathing heavy and still sobbing, but soda was able to calm him down. soda could calm anyone down. soda was like a magician when it came to that.

i had knelt down next to him and inspected his face injury. we later found out that stupid soc got him with his rings. i remember how terrible i felt for him. everyone but dally and darry had been jumped at least once, but his was the worst of them all.

all in all, johnny and i are so alike in many ways. we're both 16 and hard to understand. we both crave attention, but still don't want to feel like a burden.

i soon snapped out of my little flashback when i feel a pair of arms lift me up from under my armpits.

"what're you doin'?" i ask him.

"we're goin' to the curtis house." he responds while patting the grass off his worn-out jeans.

"i ain't stayin' if dal's there."

"oh yes you are."

i stare directly at him, as he maintains a serious expression.

"you and dally are gonna talk. i'm sick of you two always being at each other's throats. i'm also sick of being the one who has to fix y'all's shit."

"whatever. over my dead body."

johnny then shrugged, grabbed my waist, and lifted me over his shoulder. i was honestly surprised he could even lift me.

the quick lift felt like a stab to my chest. i clenched my eyes shut but my pain discreet. i decide to make a little joke.

"how come i never knew you could lift me shrimpy?" i asked, laughing at my own words.

"not the time." he said seriously while continuing to make his way down the sidewalk.

i roll my eyes, but then realize i possibly did upset him. it wasn't something i said, but maybe all the times he's had to separate me and dally have caught up to him. maybe it was tearing him apart without us knowing. his two best friends arguing all the time.

he walked while holding me in silence. nothing else was said, not even when we finally reached the curtis' house at first. he set me down once we got to the porch and motioned for me to follow behind him into the house.

immediately after taking the first step into the house, i'm met by a pair of arms wrapping around me.

"bella! where the hell did you go? where were you? it's not like you to run off like that!" ponyboy bombarded me.

"its nothin' pone. all that matters is i'm here now, right?"

he nodded in response before loosening his grip on me, transferring it to johnny.

i walk past them to find all eyes on me. darry, soda, and steve are sitting at the dining room table and two-bit was digging in the fridge.

"come here." darry says sternly, stepping away from the table and walking to his room. i follow not far behind him into the room. he shuts the door behind me before sitting himself down on his bed and sighing heavily.

"are you okay bella? like really?"

darry had always been sort of a father figure to me, but he and i had never really had a deep conversation. i did all that with johnny, soda, or pony. they always understood, and i was always worried darry never would.

"why do you ask?" i ask him, trying to be nonchalant.

"i don't know kid, maybe because we just got you out of the hospital yesterday and you ran away without anyone knowin' where you were."

"johnny knew where i was." i say under my breath.

"that's besides the point bella. my point is you would never just run away like that. is there somethin' botherin' ya?"

i fidgeted with my fingers as i tried to decide whether to tell him, or lie.

"i just needed a minute to myself. i then got real tired and fell asleep in the lot."

"YOU FELL ASLEEP IN THE LOT?!" he bursted out, standing up from the bed, "ARE YOU STUPID?!?"

i stared down at my feet as he raised his voice at me. no matter the situation, anytime someone raised their voice it made me anxious. past experiences from my dad made me develop undiagnosed ptsd. the entire gang knew it, that's why rarely anyone ever raised their voice at me.

"i didn't think—"

"EXACTLY! YOU DIDN'T THINK! YOU'RE JUST AS BAD AS PONYBOY, AND HE'S TWO YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU! USE YOUR BRAIN!"

each word felt like a knife stabbing into my ribcage and being ripped back out. i hid it all inside and maintained a serious look on the outside. he was being so loud i didn't even notice someone crack the door open a little.

"GOD, REMEMBER ALL THE TIMES PEOPLE HAVE GOTTEN J—"

"leave her alone superman." i hear come from the doorframe. i look up to find an unsuspecting face staring right at me.

dally.