Serenity Hiraya
"Is your decision already finalized? Can you stay here for another year? Or wait, stay here forever!"
My friend, Amelia, clung her arms on my body to prevent me from putting my things inside the box.
I chuckled with her cuteness. "I'm sorry. I cannot change my decision anymore because I already thought about this for a year. I already told you about this, right?"
She puffed a breath before fixing her ginger hair. Her milky white skin contrasted with the color of her hair, also making her freckles more visible.
"But I don't want to let you go..." parang naiiyak na sabi niya. "Stay here, please."
Sasagot na sana ako nang dumating ang bagong uupo bilang editor-in-chief.
"That's enough, Amelia. Go back to your desk."
Nakasimangot na lumabas ng opisina ko si Amelia. Natawa ako nang bahagya bago pinagpatuloy ang pag-iimpake ng gamit ko.
"Desidido ka na talagang umalis?" Tanong niya sa akin habang pinapalibot ang kanyang tingin sa kabuuan ng office ko.
I nodded at her. "I am. I just finished the last project I had. Besides, I have no more reason to stay."
She sighed. "Gets ko kung bakit ayaw ka pakawalan ng mga boss. Kahit sila ay bilib sa skills mo, e. Hindi ko nga sure kung kaya kong tapatan 'yung galing mo. Kinakabahan tuloy ako!"
Nanatili akong nakangiti matapos kong pakinggan ang lintaya niya. Tagalog ang pagsalita niya pero rinig pa rin ang Australian accent. Half kasi siya, lumaki rito pero anak ng Filipina.
Nagulat pa ako nung una ko siyang narinig mag-Tagalog. Hindi ko akalain na may makakasama akong may lahing Filipino rito sa trabaho ko.
"I'm sure you can do it. Iba rin kasi ang writing style mo, e."
"I'm literally shaking inside right now. How can I calm down? Baka mag-expect sila na kasing galing kita... hello? Isang taon ka pa lang pero editor-in-chief ka na kaagad?"
Oh my, she's so cute with her accent... especially the "hello" part.
Also, I cannot argue with her. Pagka-graduate ko pa lang ng college ay nakapasok na agad ako sa isang newspaper publishing company. I was one of their best writers despite being a beginner. And after months of working, the boss saw my potential and promoted me as the editor-in-chief after the former resigned.
Sinong mag-aakala na sa loob ng unang taon na pagtatrabaho ko sa kanila ay editor-in-chief agad ako?
And in that one year, naging close ko si Amelia na kasabay ko ring mag-apply noon. Kaya ngayon ay halos ayaw niya na akong paalisin.
"Take care, alright? Say hi to the Philippine soil for me."
I nodded and gave her a hug.
Finally, after five years, I'm going home.
Kumusta na kaya sila? How's my dada? Violet? Marcus and my other friends? How is he?
After I arrived here in Australia, I lost contact with everyone. It was my choice—because I wanted to isolate myself. Si dada lang ang tanging connection ko sa Pilipinas na halos araw-araw ako kumustahin at minsa'y hinahayaan kong makausap si mommy.
I am delighted every time they would talk, even just through the phone. Laging malaki ang ngiti ni mommy na nagpapasaya sa akin.
Of course, I kept it a secret from lola and other people in the mansion. Hindi ako gagawa ng ikakapahamak ni dada or naming dalawa ni mommy.
Ngayon lang ako ulit nag-reach out kila Violet para sabihin sa kanya na pauwi na ako. Sila-sila raw nila Marcus ang susundo sa akin sa airport dahil hindi sila pumayag na hindi sila kasama ni dada sa pagsundo sa akin.
After I packed my things, I rode my BMW X5 to the place I go to almost every month. I go here whenever I feel stressed, anxious, sad, happy, and all of the emotions a human can handle. I would always go to my mom.
Sinalubong ako ng malakas na ihip ng hangin at mga huni ng ibon nang pumasok ako sa mausoleum kung nasaan ang nasa gitna ang abo ni mommy.
It's already been two years since she left this world but I can still feel her energy wherever I go. Before she died, she had a huge smile on her lips as she told me she loves me. I would never forget the joy plastered on her face despite exhaling her last breath.
She died happily... and she will always remain as the best memory I will have.
Kaming magkakapatid ang nag-desisyon na ipa-cremate siya dahil iyon din ang hiling ni mommy. Kumuha rin kami ng kanyang abo at inilagay sa isang maliit na pendant bago namin ginawang kwintas. In that way, we would always have her with us. She would always be near our hearts.
"Hi, mommy!" I greeted her as I placed the bouquet of flowers beside her jar. "I miss you po."
I closed my eyes and muttered silent prayers before telling stories to her.
"Mommy, babalik na po ako. Gustong-gusto ko ng makita si dada tapos lahat ng naiwan ko roon. Galit kaya sila sa akin?" I wondered. "I hope not... especially him. I hope he's not angry with me."
I inhaled a huge breath as I hugged myself. The wind blew stronger, pakiramdam ko ay niyayakap niya ako.
When I bid my goodbyes, I kissed the necklace once before I drove back to the mansion.
Walang emosyon akong pumasok sa loob ng bahay kahit pa binabati ako ng mga katulong. Dumiretso ako sa kwarto kung saan nakahanda na ang mga suitcase ko.
Ngayon araw ang flight ko at siguro ay makakarating ako sa Pilipinas ng mga 5PM. Nag-book na rin ako ng hotel kung saan pwede ako makapagpahinga agad.
With my suitcases and my passport, I marched on the living room when I heard a voice from the huge stairs.
"What is the meaning of this?!" My grandmother's roar filled the living room.
"I'm leaving," I answered.
"You are not allowed to leave, Hiraya!" Galit na sabi niya bago mabilis na bumaba ng hagdan. "Where do you think you're going?"
"Hindi ka po ba nakakarinig nang maayos? I said, I'll leave. I have no reason to stay, so shut the fuck up," I said bluntly that made her face lose color.
I lost respect for her the moment my mother died.
Ni hindi siya umiyak o lumuha man lang. Para bang wala lang sa kanya ang buhay ni mommy. Mas importante pa sa kanya na sumikat ang article na sinulat ko noong college kaysa sa buhay ng anak niya.
She even made a press conference after I received an award for my piece. She was the one who answered all of the interviews—saying how much she's proud of me and how much she supported me. As if, wala naman siyang naging ambag doon pero siya ang nagkakaroon ng recognition. That just shows what her priorities are.
"How dare you disrespect me, you imbecile child!"
I turned my back to her and continued walking. I paid no attention to her until I left her mansion.
I'm not hesitant to leave kasi wala naman akong maiiwan. I already talked to the twins and they do not want to come to the Philippines with me. They wanted to stay with their grandfather in Barcelona from their father's side.
