The Fall - Book 1

68. I close my eyes and bow my head.

⚠️ TW: mention of torture ⚠️

OCTOBER 28, 2018 — AVENGERS COMPOUND — BUCKY

I sit in the fading daylight and stare at the surface of Réa's pond, lost in my thoughts. As soon as I saw Rumlow carry Réa away, my mind began conjuring up images of what I'd seen him do in the past, but replacing those people with her.

'Stop it,' I tell myself, but my mind doesn't listen, and the images still appear.

I'm pulled from my macabre thoughts by the sound of soft footsteps.

"Hi, Bucky," Wanda says as she sits next to me.

I nod. "Wanda."

"You've been out here for a while. I thought maybe you'd want some company."

I don't respond.

"I cannot imagine how difficult this must be for you," she says. "Having your soulmate taken...it must be...'terrifying' doesn't seem like a strong enough word." She pauses. "Although the situations with Réa and Vision are different, I remember how I felt when we were in Wakanda before Thanos was defeated: the worry, the fear, the uncertainty...I know how your own thoughts can betray you by becoming something else to fear."

I nod.

"As soon as I saw him carry her off, my mind immediately began showing me the aftermath of some of the worst things he's done, replacing those people with her." My voice cracks. "You're right. 'Terrified' isn't a strong enough word for how I feel."

Wanda reaches over and gently pats me on the back. After a few minutes, she speaks again.

"You don't have to answer this, but I'm curious. I know I asked you before, but I'm asking again. When Sam interrupted you in the hangar, were you about to tell Réa that you love her?"

I nod. "I was."

I don't elaborate, and Wanda doesn't push. The two of us sit silently in the darkness for a while, before heading back to the compound.

I make my way to my suite, staring at Réa's door before going into my room. I flip on the light, then take off my boots and my jacket, leaving both in their places by the door. I move into my bedroom and flip the light switch. When I turn on the light, I see a wrapped box on my bed, along with an envelope. Moving closer, I pick up both and sit on the edge of the bed.

'OPEN ME FIRST' is printed on the envelope in Réa's tidy handwriting, along with a small number one; I open it and read the card, which is dated the day after the team and I left for the mission.

To my sweet, wonderful Bucky,
When I was in here with you yesterday, I realised that you have no photos of your family; I know the destruction of the compound took the one photo you had of you and Rebecca. I remember how heartbroken I was to lose my mother's journal and the only photo I had of my parents, and I don't want you to feel that way. So, I had F.R.I.D.A.Y. help me track down as many Barnes family photos as possible. I hope this isn't an overstep on my part; I just wanted you to have them, because I know what it's like not to.
As for the other photo, I chose it because it's my favourite one of us. I've kept it to myself long enough; I think it's time you have a copy, too. They say "a picture is worth a thousand words"; this one shows the words I haven't been brave enough to say to you.
Always and forever,
Réa

I slide the card back into the envelope, and lift the wrapped box. I see that Réa wrote 'OPEN ME LAST' on the left side, along with a small number three.

'So what am I supposed to open next?' I wonder.

I stand, and open my bedroom door; as soon as I step into the living room, I see it.

"Oh, wow," I whisper.

On the same wall as the main door, centred with the seating area, is a large, wooden 'BARNES'. The letters are connected with five frames; each one with a different photo—including a replacement of the one of me and Rebecca.

My eyes mist as I look at the photos, remembering when each was taken.

'Of course Réa would do something like this,' I think.

I stare at the photos for a while longer; eventually, I return to my bedroom. I once again lift the box, and unwrap it. I slowly remove the lid and carefully lift out the item inside. I unwrap the tissue paper and see a gold frame with a photo of me and Réa.

I've never seen this photo before, but I immediately know when it was taken: during the first game night at the tower. I remember Peter running around snapping photos, but I didn't know he took this one of me and Réa.

It's a candid shot; neither of us appear to be aware that we're the focus of the camera. We're sitting at the Monopoly table; I'm looking at Réa and smiling, and she's looking at me like I hung the moon. The sheer adoration and love I see in her expression causes my chest to constrict; the tears I've been holding back begin to prick my eyes.

Doing something I haven't done in a long time, I close my eyes and bow my head. 

"Please, please keep Réa safe. Please don't let Rumlow hurt her. I know she chose the Fall, and all that goes with it, but please. She is kind, and compassionate; she's vibrant, and funny, and smart. She's selfless, and generous, and one of the most remarkable people I have ever met. She doesn't deserve whatever he has planned for her, so please, I'm begging you, please keep it from happening. Please keep her safe. Please," I whisper.

I open my eyes, looking back at the photo in my hands. I stare at it for a long while, then stand up and leave my suite, carrying the photo with me. I cross the hall and enter Réa's suite, heading straight to her bedroom.

I climb onto her bed, grabbing one of her pillows and inhaling her scent. I lie there, staring at Réa's face and breathing in the scent of spun sugar and raspberries, until the emotions overwhelm me.

Letting the frame fall onto the mattress, I wrap both arms around the pillow and bury my face in it as I let the tears fall. I cry until I have no tears left, and I fall into a restless, nightmare-filled sleep.