DEEP BREATHS | lando norris

CHAPTER 2

ILMA

I close the doors to my hotel room with a loud thud. I actually didn't mean to close them like that but there is nothing I can do with it now. I take off my shoes and drop the bag with my racing suit, balaclava and helmet on the floor. There is nothing mkre I'm dreaming of than just going to bed and sleep all that happened today.

I take a Coca Cola can with me as I go to the bedroom and lay down in the black covers. I hide under them to keep myself warm because hell it's freezing here.

I feel like a complete loser even though I have won a race today. It's not just another trophy for me or just another race to get over. Every Grand Prix I can take a part in is a special one for me as a woman. I appreciate every one of them. I've fought hard enough to get into Formula One so it's not like I'm gonna give up now.

But damn Lando fucking Norris. He makes me question my own abilities. Just because he's a dickhead with a top ego that finds flaws in everyone else around but not in himself.

He's the person that makes me want to quit just because teaching him and other motorsport fans from around the world about women being drivers shouldn't be a big deal for them. They all think, because of stereotypes, that women shouldn't take part in any extreme sports like Formula One. Because they're women. It's their only argument. Whenever you'll ask them "Why women shouldn't participate in such sports?" the answer remains the same. "Because they're woman".

Getting through karting and proving everyone that I deserve that seat is ten times more harder than it is for a men. And they're still arguing and questioning your presence there.

When I first came into Formula One prople thought I slept my way in. Or that someone paid for me to get in. No one would think that it's just because of the talent I have. They've found every single argument but not my talent in their minds. But they were especially mad at me because it's Lewis who gave up his seat in Formula One for me. Because he wanted a woman to prove them all wrong.

Now they're all hating on me. There was lots of articles about that. The titles were bullshit. "Woman who replaced the Greatest Lewis Hamilton", "Lewis Hamilton's biggest mistake", "A sign for you to stop watching motorsport - a woman signed with Mercedes", "Formula One becoming an unfunny circus". It was all too much for me when I entered. They all have showm up right before my first race, at midnight on Saturday. It was made on purpose to see how my mentality can handle the pressure.

Lucky for me I had Lewis by my side. Being my friend and shielding me even though I didn't asked him to do that for me. I also had my best friend who entered Formula One as a rookie the same year I did. Victoria Diaz always took the questions about me and answered them on a high level, that the journalists became anxious with being misogynistic around her. We - me and Vic - made our way to Formula One, having much more bricks thrown at us than anyone has ever had. But we made it. With Lewis' help and our personalities.

I receive lots of messages daily from female fans from around the world that they're extremly proud that me and Vic are representing women in motorsport. I sometimes reply to their messages but mostly when I read them I cry. That's why I have turned off the notifications from social media. Because I can't cry. Not today, especially because I've almost cried in my driver room after some people started yelling and bullying me after I got out of the car. I don't know if they know that I completly didn't mean to do anything to Norris. I didn't even seen him.

I look up at the ceiling and place my gaze right in the lamp. Vic gave me this tip. Looking at lamps helps you not to cry. Or prevent crying.

Then I hear a notification coming from my phone. I look at my phone, unsure if I wanna see who wrote to me but then another comes up and I just take my phone.