DEEP BREATHS | lando norris

CHAPTER 4

ILMA

Vic ( Seb's alter ego ): I'm waiting for you outside the paddoc

Ilma ( Bosnian queen ): I'm on my way

I take my sports bag out of my car and I close it before I start a fast walk to Vic who's standing next to the entry to the paddoc. I can already see her. She's texting somebody and as she notices me she puts her phone down.

"Hi, girl." she says as she pulls me into a hug.

"Hi." I reply and hug her back. When we pull away we smile slightly and get into the paddoc arm to arm.

We both put our sunglasses on because the sun in Monza is killing us both and also because the paparazzis here are crazy. They all use lots of cameras with flashes and sorry but I still wanna see the world. We walk up to the food tent to get our breakfast that we always take when it's a race weekend and then we sit somewhere in a quiet corner of it.

"So... How are you feeling before quali?" she asks me while eating her salad. She seems to be in a good mood today and that's quite suprising because lately she's been everything but happy.

"Pretty confident. Bolid felt good on this track yesterday, on Free Practice." I answer her and also start eating ny meal.

Vic nods and than waves over to Kika who has just entered the tent. She comes up to us and welcomes us with short hugs. She didn't stay long though because Pierre also came up and then they dissapeared.

"Why you're in such a mood, huh?" I ask Vic as she collects her things from the chair next to her.

"I'm not in a good mood." Diaz answers me and stand up, looking down at me, which is a secret sign for me to oack up quicker.

"Liar."

"Well, I don't know yet. I don't wanna make myself hopefull." she says as he puts her sunglasses back on her nose. We both leave the food tent and go into directions of our team's garages. Mercedes' garage is next to Red Bull's garage so we don't have to split earlier.

"Crumbs?" I ask her with puppy eyes that make her giggle.

"The name starts with 'Ch' and ends with 'arles'." she answers me still chuckling. Sometimes I still don't believe we're grown ups with jobs and not teenagers fangirling over a boy.

"Oh. I'm still waiting for details, girl." I smile and laugh wuth her aswell.

"Later. Go and do the quali the best you can." she winks at me before leaving and dissapearing into Red Bull's garage.

I go to Mercede's garage, greet mechanics and engineers on my way to the driver room. I quickly change into my racing suit and take my balaclava and helmet with me right before I leave. And when I open the doors my heart stops for a secound. Or more than a secound. Maybe a couple of them.

My parents are standing in the garage, watching my car carefully but I doubt they can say anything about it just by watching it other than: "Pretty", "The colors look good", "I couldn't drive it". I had no idea they'd be here. But now I feel all of the pressure suddenly appearing and taking its place on my back.

I come up to my mechanic, asking him about random things, just to seem busy for my family. I don't wanna talk with them right now. I gotta process their presence here. Without talking to them. I can't be annoyed when I jump in that car. Usually I'm doing stupid things then.

After some minutes I hop into my bolid, feeling comfort as I sit in it. It became my home since my very first race. I start the engine and get on the pit lane ready to start qualifying.

☆

"Norris lap time is 1.20.391s." my engineer says to me through radio. "He struggles at turn 1 and 2."

The turns I'm the best at. I smike slightly just because my helmet won't let me smile wider. I focus on the speed and every corner I'm taking at my last push lap, hearing my breaths perfectky, just like the engine isn't revving loudly next to my head.

I cross the line and slow down the bolid to go on an out lap.

"And it's 1.20.298s. Pole position."

"YES!" I yell through my radio. I took another pole position and I have Lando starring behind me. Another good opportunity to take another win. Right now we're having the same amount of points and to make our situation clear one of us has to get more points than the other.

"Good job, come to the pitlane."

I do as I'm told to do. I park up in the pitlane behind a board with a 1 marking my pole position. I see Lando parking on P2 and Vic on P3. I take out my steering wheel and then get out of the car. I take off my helmet and come up to Vic to congratulate her on P3.

She smiles as she sees me approaching her. We hug quickly and shake our hands for some secounds.

"The car sucks on the straights actually." she giggles and I smirk at her comment. "Congrats, though."

"Thanks. You did a great job too." she nods and walks over to the FIA guy standing and waiting for all of us to come up to him.

I turn around and suprisingly I see Lando in front of me. I look at him suspiciously but then he just walks away and sighs. I could swear that he was about to say something but this ass has no confidence to confront me anymore.

☆

It's Sunday. Race day. I'm feeling like I could throw myself off of a cliff and the emotions would feel the same as they are right now. I'm sitting in my bolid, my hands on the sterring wheel and my mechanics still running around my car and checking everything. I'm breathing loudly as they dissapear to the pits and we all start the formation lap.  It feels like hours, going through the formation lap but I try to ignore the feeling I have in my stomach. I feel nervous line I've never felt before. And I don't know why. That's annoying.

All of the drivers park up on theirs places on the grid for the race and we wait for the lights to go out.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

And the lights are out. I have a great start. It makes me pull away from Lando quickly. I don't wanna be so happy about it right now as it's not sure how everything will go. I switch to 7th gear and a few secounds after I wanna brake to get through chicane. The thing is that my brakes don't work.

"FUCK! MY BRAKES! THEY DON'T WORK!" I yell through the radio. Now I know what the feeling was for. Why I was so nervous. I felt that something's wrong. Obviously.

I can' stop. I feel that the back of my car hits the wall and makes me spin. I close my eyes and beg everything that exists to help me make it out of it. But I don't know if anything listens.

I feel all alone again.