"P...please stop... I... I can't anymore... S...stop..."
"I don't know the word 'stop' baby girl, I am not done yet. I need this so badly right now. I need to have you. I wanna hear you beg for my name. So... Don't resist...."
...
I think he heard my movements from downstairs and came down to look for me. His face was angry and I could see the anger and rage in his eyes. Seemed like he didn't approve of it.
"Why are you drinking?"
He glared at me and I felt scared as he spoke to me in a harsh voice.
"You aren't allowed to do anything without me. I told you to stay there in this room and here you are trying to escape. You don't listen to me, do you???"
I was angry at him. My head ached so bad and I felt like I was dizzy.
"Shut the fuck up!!!"
I screamed. I almost drank.
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"You are the one..... Yes, you! You! Y...you are the one who makes me d...doing this."
I went to him and pointed my finger at his chest.
"D...do you want t...to see me die?" I laugh.
He was startled and didn't answer me; he didn't say a single word. He just started at me and I was scared of him. He said nothing, but his presence filled me with fear. He seemed so threatening and it seemed so dangerous to make him mad. I could feel it in my bones, he would hurt me at any time. I didn't want to make him mad, but I felt I wanted to speak. I almost lost my mind because of alcohol. So I talked without fear and without thinking
"Am I a joke... joke to you?"
I was going to fall. But I kept my balance.
"Yes. You are a joke to me. And I will prove it. I will prove to you that you are nothing but a joke. "
He said to me, but he said it in such a sweet voice. He smiled when he spoke to me and he seemed so charming and so kind. He looked me directly in the eyes when he said this and his eyes seemed almost like they were glowing, like they were full of a dangerous anger. His words might just sound like a joke to me, but there was something about him that made his words seem dangerously frightening.
"D... don't look at me like this!! I... I'm sick of being scared of you!" I pushed him away and walked away. Then I cried. "D...do you want to see me suffering? W... What did I do? Y...you are almost ruining me". I went to him and fell onto his arm.
He caught me and he smiled. He hugged me close and he seemed kinder and nicer than he had before. I was crying and he kept hugging me closely and he started to pet my hair for a few minutes.
"It's okay, my little bird." He said gently. The anger and the bitterness seemed to have disappeared and his voice sounded so sweet and kind.
"It's okay... Everything is okay..."
I push him away.
"Nope... No! Not okay... It's not okay... I'm not okay..." I cried again.
"Do you know... D...do you know this... my heart? It...it is hurting s...so much... W...why are you hurting me?"
