Chapter 33

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Kat lay in the dark, eyes working around at the swirls of texture in the ceiling while the comforting buzz of Emma's snores droned on beside her. She'd always felt nervous about the plan, she always felt nervous about everything, but now that things were beginning to take shape, now that there was true risk, true stakes, the full magnitude was truly beginning to settle in.

This was going to affect everything, it would affect the planet, her life, all of their lives. It would affect Jove too, she thought guilty. So much for 9 straight quarters of growth. She'd been so busy since their conversation, her mind running a mile a minute, and she hadn't really taken the time to review it, their talk in his office, then in the garage, what they'd talked about as he drove her home. He had been flirting with her, even with her preconceived notions about his lack of attraction to her she had to admit that.

But he flirts with everyone, she contested herself, even the day Courtney brought me up he flirted with her. But had he? Or was it just his voice, Courtney's reaction that made it seem as if a seduction was occurring. Courtney had been seduced yes, but had Jove been seducing her? Now, Kat was even more confused. He was a charmer to be sure, a charmer that could likely leave any woman he wanted flustered, but she felt like their conversation had gone beyond that, like he'd opened up to her a little. And she'd opened up to him too, in a small way. She'd told him about her father unpromoted, something she didn't typically feel drawn to do.

It's not so much that her father was a sore spot, a weakness or an insecurity, but more an old healed sadness, like the ache of long ago injury when rain threatens. She'd never met her father, but he had been the absolute love of her mother's life, her only love. She'd never remarried, never so much as dated again despite the numerous regulars who pledged their love both in jest and in earnest. Her mother had always described her father as the best person she'd ever known; the kindest, the most thoughtful, the most present, the most alive.

"He made change seem like nothing more than riding the wave of life," a nostalgic Martha had told her once. "I used to be so afraid of it, it took everything in me just to move here and I felt stuck, but I met him and," she'd paused for nearly a full minute, memories dancing then tiring behind her eyes.

"Those months were the best of my life. He taught me about everything, about love, about change, about the world, the earth, he taught me... He taught me to care. That caring is good, even when it seems futile. He taught me that care matters, it's the only thing that matters. When he found out I was pregnant with you." She smiled, sadness tucked beneath the expression like a soft white sheet. "You should've seen his face, kitty. You should've seen it. Everything he did from then on was for you. Everything. He named you right away, named you right when I showed him the little plastic test. He put his hands on my stomach and said," she paused, swallowing. "He said 'hey Kat. Hey my Kat. I can't wait to meet you.'"

Kat had gripped her mothers hands, the tears now spilling out onto the older woman's cheeks.

"All he wanted was to meet you, to take care of you. That's actually why I'm a good mom," she joked, lightening the mood as she sniffed and wiped at her eyes with her sleeve. "You're ok, or whatever, but it's mostly cause I promised your dad I'd take care of you."

Kat had leaned into her mothers shoulders and her mother leaned back, their heads touching.

"He always knew you would change the world Kat, he always said that. A force for change."

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