Your Ribbon

Epilogue

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

The winter break has already started and everything is going smoothly at home. You can hear the sound of the vacuum cleaner and the way my dad works outside with the snow shovel. Everything is perfectly calm around me, except me.

Ever since that strange thing happened to me in the Autumn break, I have a huge feeling of emptiness, which is very frustrating. Do you have that feeling when you want to say something but suddenly forget it? I feel that all the time.

Anyway, apart from that, everything's perfect. Danielle and Haerin finally started dating, which wasn't surprising. Hyein dyed her hair little lighter, which suits her very well. Proves the many love letters she keeps receiving. And I gave Jake a chance.

I'm not in love, at least not yet, but he's a very cute and a nice boy. He treats me very well, he really is gentleman.

I think I like him.

My parents told me a lot about what they did while they weren't at home. Well, I didn't really regret staying at home. Because they went to a place where it was almost impossible to leave the hotel and inside of that place there was really nothing but a swimming pool and a shared kitchen.

Back to the weird stuff, I didn't take the strange red ribbon off my hand for once. For some reason, I don't know, I can't take it off of my hands. I can't find my shell either and my lavender is dead. Also, I keep dreaming the same thing...

I'm always in the grass under the shining sun. I always lie down and there's always someone behind me when I sit up. I've never get to see them because I wake up as soon as I turn behind.

When mom asked what I was doing at home, my chest felt like it was going to explode. My brain tried to remember something, but I quickly gave up, every limbs of mine hurt mentally and physically from it. So I just said I was resting. As soon as I got to my room I started crying.

I don't know what happened to me that day when I woke up with this red thing on my hand, but something isn't right.

***

"Hanni would you do the dishes while I wash your uniforms?" my mom asked from the living room.

"Of course," I answered as I put down the book I was reading.

I've been helping out a lot more at home these days. It's great to distract myself and I don't get bored. I can't really do anything other than helping now that Danielle is somewhere with Haerin all day. Not that I mind, I'm very happy for them.

Actually, I could call Jake, but even if we're together now, we don't have to be together every day right? Don't get me wrong, I love his company, but I don't want to think about him all the time.

"Thank you," said mom, kissing my head while I was washing the dishes.

I like washing dishes, it's like a stress reliever for me. Although I almost throw up everytime my hand meets a piece of food. I really hate that.

I can't help but think about that break. It's very strange that I remember almost nothing, only scraps of memories. For example, I clearly remember Halloween and ice skating. That I looked at the flower in the window a lot and that I was also in the cemetery.

As if everything was more colorful then. Like I could see everything better then. I remember smiling a lot, but I also remember crying a lot.

Oh, I'm done.

Unplugging the sink, I shook the water off my hands and wiped them.

"Mom! Can I go for a walk?" I asked out loud.