We continue walking down the hallway but instead of going straight the whole time we turn right, down a different hallway. We keep walking making more turns, none of which fully register in my head. I seem to be lost in my own thoughts.
Why was Logan so intent on leaving Nelli behind? I didn't think he was that kind of person. He always seemed to help people. But then again that was probably just an act. In fact, I bet I never even knew him in the fist place. The Logan I knew wasn't the real Logan. He was only manipulating me, and I let him. I was stupid enough, naive enough, to think he was genuine. I put him up on a stinking pedastool, and despite everything he still is on that pedastool. Even if the pedastool is slightly smaller, it is still a pedastool. Why can't I destroy that pedastool? Because the stupid, naive, idiotic, teenage part of me is still hoping that he isn't all that bad and that he was forced to do this. Why do I think this? Because somehow I fell so deeply in love that I can't process the fact that "Mr. Perfect" isn't really perfect, in fact he is everything but perfect.
Ugh... I could so use some reality TV right now. I mean their lives are so messed up they actually get a TV show to brag about their messed up lives. And quite frankly millions of people watch their messed up lives to do nothing but loose brain cells. Or like in my case, forget about the complications of of our own lives. Yep, reality TV sounds really appealing right now. I mean how much of the Kardashians' life have I missed since I have been here?
Wait you know what is better than reality TV? Shows that are so engrossing you forget they are fake. Like Pretty Little Liars. I mean we never find out who " - A " is and there are so many lies and cliff hangers it is too hard to even remember what really happened in the town of Rosewood, Pennsylvania the summer that Allison supposedly disappeared but technically died, even if she never was really dead. And don't even get me started on everyone's parents, I mean people please, the parents need to make at least one good decision. And the detective makes me want to hurl into my popcorn, every single time I see his face.
Or a nice comedy movie. One with Adam Sandler or Eddie Murphy. Oh yeah, I could totally waste a couple hours of my life to watch Shrek or Blended. With parfaits and onions. Or coffee and rhinos. Talk about lovely mornings in the movies... definitely worth wasting multiple hours of my life. Much better way to spend my life than being here in this place. Where ever this place may be...I have officially given up on trying to figure out where exactly I am. I mean what's the point? Wait, wait, wait do you hear that? Silence...my point exactly.... There is NO point to establish where in the world I am.
A voice and a hand on my arm cuts through my train of thought, " I thought you might need this. " It's Logan. I glance over at him, somewhere along the way he has started walking beside me. In his left hand he holds my knife. The same knife Nicholas wants to use to get revenge on his sister's kidnapper. It is also the same kinfe that managed to get me into this mess. You know sometimes my parents really get on my nerves. Why couldn't I get a normal sixteenth birthday present? Like a puppy or a car? A convertible even... okay so that never happens in real life, only in the movies but still. A knife designed for self-defense from the institute is not an average birthday present! We are supposed to pretend we are normal! Getting knives as presents is not normal! I found that out the hard way when I was the only one in my first grade class to get a lipstick laser for Christmas. People should really tell their kids not to share this information with the whole class. We had to move because of that and the whole our secret identity is key to our survival thing. I mean we are not superheros people!
I reach out and cautiously take the knife from his hand, still keeping one arm tight around Chloe. " Thanks, " I mutter. He nods.
" Don't mention it, " he says.
" How did you manage to get it away from Nicholas? " I ask.
" When people say ' don't mention it ' they usually mean don't ask any questions and don't ever bring it up again, " replies Logan.
" Actually, they normally just say that because it is common curtousey to express one's appreciation for an act of kindness preformed by another person but they don't appreciate the said act of kindness enough to say ' thank you ' or even a simple ' thanks '. So my question is still valid for an answer, " I say. Logan smirks at me.
" You are so attached to reality, its adorable, " he says. I blush. No! Bad Penelope! Bad! He does not make you feel special! He does not make you feel all giddy and happy! And he does not make you feel affection towards him! Therefore you have no right to blush. Don't blush. Don't blush. Don't blush. Ugh... Blush go away and bother me some other time when I am flirting with another guy who is NOT Logan.
" I am not that attached to reality, " I reply.
" Oh really? " he says.
" Yes really, " I say.
" Prove it, tell me one ridiculous fantasy you have in that sweet little head of yours, " he says. And once again I blush. Ugh brain do not make my body do what I specifically tell it not to do! Now I sound like my mom. Great.
" This whole nightmare of my life is all just a stupidly long dream and when I wake up, I would be normal. And all of the time I spent in this place never really happened. Movies like Project Almanac are based on true stories. But really, the biggest, most ridiculous one is that you really truly are perfect and you deserve to be on this stinking pedastool I put you on. And you aren't a bloody liar and a master at manipulating me. Because I just wanted to have a somewhat normal life and then you have to take my dream and stab me in the back with it, just to show that my life will never be normal and that I can't have a single person in my life who actually really cares about me and will distract me when I need it. I think the biggest fanatasy is that you were Mr. Perfect the love of my life and you aren't a bad person after all, and that guy in that room cutting me with the knife wasn't you it was some other dude, who I couldn't care less about, and I was just drugged with that stuff the Scarecrow in Batman Begins uses to show people their worst nightmares, " I say. I didn't mean to say all of that. It just all kind of came out. I am crying now. I can feel the tears streaming down my face. " But fantasies aren't real, they are completely fake! So no matter what I am still this stupid, idiotic, naive, vulnerable, pathetic, petty, desperate teenage girl who can't for the the life of me get a grip and man up! And every single thing you say or do hurts! I am not invincible! And I...I don't even deserve to live. I have no reason to live. You were my rope, the patch on my raft keeping me from sinking. But now your gone. And nothing is keeping me afloat anymore. Do you have any idea why I slept with that kinife under my pillow? Because it sure wasn't for self-defense, and I wasn't in the Hunger Games. I fought for so long, but now I can't even fight any more. I am out of fight..." I drop to my knees and cry. People say you are supposed to feel better once you spill your guts out, but the truth is you don't. You just feel even more guilty for saying anything in the first place.
YOU ARE READING
Fatal Trust
Short Story{COMPLETED} Trust is the most important thing in the world. Without it you could never tell anyone about yourself. But, finding people to trust is the hard part. Especially for sixteen year old Penelope, who happens to be a spy. Despite the challeng...
