Coming Back Home

Chapter 12

I watched cautiously as Natalie closed the distance between us.

"Does that mean you have done this before?" I asked her.

"Yes," she said with a laugh, "I've dabbled."

"Dabbled, huh?" I said.

She nodded at me and grinned.

"Shit," I said with a sigh as I backed up and sat on the couch, "I know I disagreed with you when you said you shouldn't have done that, but I'm starting to rethink that stance."

"Oh..." Natalie trailed off.

"No, no, I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that," I said, "it's just that - well you have Eli, and I have Theo, and I still have no idea what's going on honestly."

"Will you please let me worry about Eli?" She asked me, "but who's Theo?"

"The guy I'm kind of seeing, we've only been on one date though so I'm not really sure about that either," I responded.

Natalie sighed and sat down next to me, "I guess this is a little more complicated than it seemed."

"Why didn't you just tell me any of this back in high school?" I asked her.

"Probably for the same reason you didn't tell me," she said as she looked over at me.

"Okay...fair," I said, "but I think there was probably a better solution than you cutting me off completely and treating me the way that you did."

"I know Madison," she sighed, "I guess I thought you would fight a little harder...and when you didn't I just figured it would be easier to push you away."

"Natalie that's - " I started.

"Stupid, I know," she said, cutting me off, "sorry."

"I - I don't really know what to say," I responded.

"Well this went from being amazing to being fucked the second we stopped to think about it," Natalie said.

"That's usually how it goes," I looked over at her and forced a small grin.

"You know," Natalie said, "there's a lot more than kissing that I could show you."

She trailed her fingertips up my leg, and I so badly wanted to let it continue, but I knew I couldn't.

"Natalie," I said as I grabbed her hand, "don't make this harder than it already is."

"Fine," she said as she leaned back against the couch.

"I have a question for you," I said.

"Okay, go for it," she responded.

"You said you liked me back in the beginning of high school...was that kiss just so you could get it out of your system and see what would happen?" I asked hesitantly.

She looked over at me and raised her eyebrows, "you know I could ask you the same thing, right?"

"Yeah...I guess you're right," I admitted.

"And no," she said, "it wasn't just to get it out of my system."

She smiled over at me and I felt my stomach flutter as I smiled back.

"What about you?" She asked.

"Honestly, I'm still pretty confused...but no, I don't think I was trying to get anything out of my system," I said.

"You don't think?" Natalie asked.

"Well - no, I guess I just don't know what I want right now. This whole situation isn't exactly straightforward and easy," I responded.

Natalie nodded and stood up from the couch, "I think I better get going."

"Hold on," I said as I quickly stood up in front of her, "please don't be mad, I'm just really confused."

"I'm not mad," she said as she reached down and squeezed my hand reassuringly, "but you're right, this is all pretty weird, and I don't want to push anything...or turn into a bitch again."

She smirked at me before walking towards the door.

"You're not going to let me forget that one anytime soon, are you?" I asked.

"Not a chance," Natalie said as she walked out the door.

***

I laid in bed that night tossing and turning. So much had just happened tonight, and I still didn't feel like I could fully wrap my head around it.

I really wanted to go talk to Trevor after Natalie had left, but somehow I didn't think that running over to tell him that I'd just made out with his brother's girlfriend was the smartest idea. I wasn't sure how he'd react, but he was the one who suggested that Natalie come over to my apartment.

And then there was the issue of Theo. I knew we had only been on one date, and nothing was official by any means, but I still felt bad. I liked Theo, and now I didn't know what to do.

***

I went down to the coffee shop the next morning prepared to tell Theo what had happened. I knew I would feel too guilty if I didn't.

"Hey!" He said excitedly when I came in.

"Hey Theo," I said, feeling bad already, "can I talk to you for a second?"

"Oh, sure," he said hesitantly.

He came over and sat down at a table with me while one of his employees took over at the counter.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"Well...I know we're not like, officially dating or anything but - I um, I was with someone else last night and I felt like I needed to tell you," I said.

Theo looked somewhat relieved, and it was throwing me off.

"I don't mean I slept with someone by the way...thought I should clarify that, but we did kiss," I admitted.

"Is that it?" He asked with a grin.

"Yes...you're not upset?" I asked him.

"No Madison," he said as he grabbed one of my hands, "you're right, we're not dating so I have no reason to be mad."

I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders, I was sure that Theo would be mad about the whole situation. Maybe it was a red flag that he wasn't, I wasn't sure.

"You explore your options all you want, I won't stop you," he said with a smirk.

"Well when you say it that way..." I started.

"I'm just giving you a hard time," Theo said, "and I like you, so I wouldn't give up that easily."

I looked down at the table as I felt my face heat up, it seemed like that was happening a lot lately.

"I like you too," I responded, "I had a lot of fun the other night...but I'm definitely pretty confused at the moment."

"Don't worry about it," Theo said, "I'll do my best to help you make up your mind."

He stood up and leaned down to slowly kiss me before he walked back up to the counter. Yeah, I was in trouble.

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