Coming Back Home

Chapter 34

I sped out of the parking lot and watched as Natalie followed closely behind me. I was more mad than anything else at this point.

Once we got back to my apartment I walked quickly to the door as Natalie struggled to keep up. We got into the elevator and she hesitantly looked over at me.

"Are you - "

"Don't," I cut her off, "don't ask if I'm okay again."

Natalie gave me a surprised look and opened her mouth, trying to figure out how to respond.

"I don't - I don't know what you want me to say then Madison," she responded.

"I'm tired of being asked if I'm okay and if everything's okay, I can't keep doing this," I said, still feeling anger coursing through my body.

"Well what the hell do you want me to do? Just ignore it and act like nothing is happening, or what?" Natalie asked me.

"No! Just - never mind," I said.

"Alright," she said quietly as she looked down at the ground.

I looked over at her and immediately felt bad for snapping at her, I knew she was just trying to help. We rode the rest of the way up to my apartment in silence, neither of us sure how to make the other feel better.

I opened the door and we both set our things down from the day.

"Hey, I'm sorry," I said to Natalie, "I know you're only trying to help."

"It's okay, I just don't know what you expect me to do," she said with a sigh.

"You're not doing anything wrong," I said as I walked over to her, "I'm just - I'm really frustrated by all of this, I didn't mean to take it out on you."

"I know," she said quietly with a nod.

She took a hold of my hand and looked like she wanted to say something, but wasn't sure if she should.

"Okay um, I don't want to overstep or anything..." she started, "but do you think it would help at all if you told me more about what happened with the two of you?"

"I - I don't know," I said hesitantly, "I guess it might, I just really haven't wanted to talk about it."

"Yeah, I get that..." Natalie said, "maybe just think about it, I really don't like seeing you like this."

"I will," I nodded as she leaned in and gave me a quick kiss.

***

Natalie and I had dinner and watched some TV before we went and got into bed for the night. Luckily it was a Friday so I didn't have to worry if I got enough sleep tonight or not.

We laid there in the dark and I was still having an internal debate with myself about what I should tell her about Kyle, if anything.

"This is how he started doing this shit last time," I said quietly.

I had just kind of blurted it out, I wasn't sure where I was going with this.

"What?" Natalie asked as she rolled over to face me.

"Kyle, he was a dick when we were together but he started doing the crazy shit once I broke up with him," I continued.

Natalie didn't say anything yet, I think she was afraid that if she said the wrong thing I'd snap again.

"He kept trying to guilt trip me about moving, and telling me the break up was all my fault and I was making everything up in my head, all that good stuff," I said, "he basically tried to force me to stay with him and not come back to Chicago."

"He also um," I hesitated "he just started showing up all over the place, like he would just be at random places that I was at."

"He would go back and forth from begging for me to come back to him to degrading me for leaving," I continued.

I could see Natalie nod slightly in the dark.

"Which is why it's freaked you out so much that he's shown up twice already," she said as if she finally understood.

"Yup..." I trailed off.

"Shit Mads," she said quietly, "I mean I could tell he was a bad person, but this all makes a lot more sense now."

"Yeah," I sighed, "seems like he's kind of started on his same pattern again now that he's here, and I'm not really sure what his goal is."

"What did he say to you after work today?" Natalie asked.

"His usual," I said, "asked me to go to dinner with him and when I said no started telling me how terrible I should feel for leaving him and moving."

"He also told me that um," I paused before continuing, "he was sure that I'd realize how much I messed things up."

"Jesus he really is a piece of work, huh?" She responded.

"You have no idea," I said, "he said that he would be around until I did come to that realization...which obviously didn't make me feel great either."

The thought of him saying that is what was making me the most uneasy. Kyle had never done anything to physically hurt me, but the constant gaslighting and stalker-like behavior was enough. I didn't want to find out what else he was capable of.

"Yeah, I don't imagine that it did," Natalie said, "what a creep."

"I don't know how I'm going to get him to leave me alone, or just to leave in general," I said with a sigh.

"There's always the Trevor beating his ass option," Natalie said jokingly.

"You know, I might be starting to consider that one more and more," I told her.

"Don't blame you," she said with a grin as she wrapped her arms around my waist, "but I'm glad you told me."

I still wasn't sure if I was glad or not, but hopefully it would eventually make me feel better that she knew more about what had gone on.

Natalie put one of her hands under my chin and lifted my face up to hers.

"Yes?" I said sarcastically, trying to lighten the mood as much as I could.

"Ohh, nothing," Natalie responded as she leaned in and slowly kissed my lips.

With everything that had been going on, Natalie and I hadn't done a lot of this lately. I had definitely been missing it.

I put my hand on the side of her face and returned the kiss, finally feeling like I could relax a little bit.

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