Coming Back Home

Chapter 20

It wasn't the first time that Natalie had left me standing in the parking lot feeling frozen. I knew I had messed up, but her reaction still surprised me.

I slowly walked home with the feeling of guilt overwhelming me. I had said that I didn't want to get involved with anyone when I moved back, and I really should've listened to myself. Even Trevor, who barely knew me, saw this coming.

So much for not letting it get too messy. I should've known that trying to get to know two people at once wasn't the right move for me.

The worst part about all of this was that it was making me realize that I had much stronger feelings for Natalie, even though we hadn't spent as much time together since I'd been back.

The fact that I couldn't stop feeling terrible and guilty told me all that I needed to know. Theo seemed fine with what had happened, so it wouldn't make sense for me to be feeling this bad about everything if I wasn't more concerned about Natalie.

Of course it had to take me pissing her off to figure that out.

As I continued my walk home, I was still trying to sort through all of the thoughts in my head. There was still something that was scaring me about my feelings for Natalie, and I wasn't exactly sure what my hesitation was. Although after today, it might not matter anyway.

When I got home, I sulked up to my door and turned the key in the doorknob. I heard a door open and close behind me and turned around expecting to see Trevor, but it was Eli.

"Oh, um - hey Eli," I said cautiously.

"Madison," he said through gritted teeth.

He didn't look very happy with me for obvious reasons. He opened his mouth to say something else, but the door quickly swung open again and Trevor was standing there.

"Okay, and you're moving along now," he quickly said to Eli as he put his hands on his back.

Eli shot me one last glare before walking away down the hallway.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"Yeah, no problem," Trevor said, "uh...are you okay?"

I shook my head and brought my hands up to my face, trying not to cry. I knew I had brought this on myself but it was just a lot to handle right now.

"Well shit," Trevor said as he stepped over to me and put his arm around my shoulders, "come on."

He walked into my apartment with me and shut the door behind us. I set my things down on the counter and all but collapsed on the couch.

"If you want to tell me what's going on, you can," Trevor said quietly as he sat next to me, "but you don't have to. I can also just sit here and keep my mouth shut if you want."

He looked over at me and grinned and at least got a small smile out of me.

"Yeah, so the whole not letting it get too messy thing," I started, "that definitely didn't happen."

"Uh oh..." Trevor responded.

"Long story short...Natalie knows I slept with Theo after she kissed me, and Theo knows that I kissed Natalie and then slept with him," I explained.

"Ohh boy, that's not good," he said.

"Nope, I knew it would come back to bite me," I said, "Theo actually saw Natalie and I that night and didn't say anything."

"Oh," Trevor responded, "that seems a little weird."

"I thought so too, he said we're just having fun and he knows I'm taking time to figure out what I want...but I don't know," I said with a sigh.

"And what about Natalie?" Trevor asked.

"Yeah she wasn't so understanding," I said, "and I don't blame her."

"Damn, did you tell her what happened or what?" He asked.

"No, Theo came to see me at work and started talking about it and was apparently talking way too loud," I said.

"Well shit," Trevor said as he raised his eyebrows, "that's even worse."

"Yeah, you're telling me. I think I just need to be done with both of them for a while honestly," I said.

"Might be a good idea I guess," Trevor responded.

"The shitty thing is that I think all of this made me realize that I really like Natalie, and now she's pissed at me," I said.

"How did it make you realize that?" Trevor asked.

"Well first of all," I started with a sigh, "the fact that Theo didn't really care and said we were just having fun kind of rubbed me the wrong way."

"I would agree," Trevor said with a slight grin.

"And now I don't really even care that things are fine with him," I said, "I just feel terrible about Natalie."

"Well I could've told you that you were more into Natalie when you first told me about her," Trevor said as he smirked at me, "but I'm glad you've come to that realization on your own."

"What?? Seriously?!" I asked him, looking surprised.

"Oh yeah, did I not say you were smitten when we first talked about her?" He asked.

"Okay...yeah you did. Why couldn't you just have saved me all of this trouble then?"

"At the risk of sounding like a wise old man," Trevor started, "I think you needed to figure that out for yourself."

"Yeah, you're right again," I said, "maybe you really are a wise old man."

"Never know," he said with a shrug as he grinned at me.

"Thanks for listening to all of my ridiculous problems when you've only known me for like a month, surprised I haven't scared you off yet," I told him.

"Oh please," Trevor said, "it's not a big deal, and besides I didn't really like the last person who lived there...so this is still an improvement."

"Wow, thanks...I think?" I said with a laugh.

"It's a compliment, don't worry," he said to me, "and I'm kind of enjoying living vicariously through your drama."

I looked over at him and rolled my eyes, but his charm was too much to be mad at.

"You're very lucky that you're cute and charming, you know?" I grinned.

"Oh, I'm well aware," he said sarcastically, "it's one of my best traits."

I shook my head at him and smiled, "well thanks even if you're enjoying my suffering too much."

"Hey, any time," Trevor said, "but in all seriousness, maybe just give Natalie some time before you try to talk to her again."

"I will," I nodded, "I know I need to tell her what I'm thinking, but I'll give her some space."

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