nostalgia

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       A few hours later, you'd called Drew and told her everything. As expected, she was thrilled at the idea of having you home for a visit, even if you'd only really be with her for a total of two days. Eden had come home early, just as you and Drew were saying your goodbyes and hanging up. You offered an unenthusiastic hey, which she echoed, then stopped in her tracks upon noticing the dishes still in the sink.

"Oh," she croaked. "I forgot about those."

It seemed an innocent statement on the surface, but the passive aggression was there. She knew you'd noticed and left them there anyway. She'd grown up much differently than you did: getting whatever she desired the moment she pointed it out and her biggest sources of stress were test scores and occasional acne. She could call on her parents for any and everything else that might trouble her, to this day. Some might call you childish, but you left her unfinished chores on purpose despite how much you hated messes.

"Yep," you smiled up at her for a second from your spot in front of the coffee table before continuing to click away on your laptop. "But, you're here now."

She let out a troubled sigh while hanging her bag on the hook by the door, and begrudgingly made her way to the sink. With a triumphant secret smirk you went back to your business of booking your flight back from Pennsylvania to Michigan. You should probably have checked with your job before making all these set in stone plans, but being two months away, they'd have plenty of notice. Plus, you planned on using the PTO you'd racked up after two years of being a regretfully loyal employee.

A confirmation email lit up your phone, and eagerness to get back home filled you once again.

//

    Takeoff was always the worst part of a flight. The mint gum you desperately chewed helped a little, but not enough. The two hours passed surprisingly quickly, and before you knew it, the wheels of the plane were finally hitting the ground. You couldn't bring yourself to ask Drew to pick you up from the incredibly busy Philadelphia airport; you'd hate to be tasked with such a thing, so you rented a car yourself. Once you were used to the numerous confusing buttons and much different interior than your own car back in Michigan, you were off: free to do whatever you wanted in your home state. You weren't at the airport much when you lived here, and you'd gone by car when you moved out of state, so the relentless nostalgia didn't twist a knife in your heart until you were on the long stretch of road that led to your old neighborhood. You could see childhood and teenage memories playing out on every corner. You knew your initials were written in sharpie on something in every park you drove past. There was even still that bittersweet smell in the air: a mix of freshly cut grass and honeysuckles. You rolled the window down to relish in the warm, familiar air.

By the time you parked in front of your childhood home, tears pricked your eyes. You wouldn't get out, you didn't want the neighbors to think you were an odd stranger -- there was no way they'd have recognized you -- so you stayed in your seat and looked longingly at the deteriorating house. You had a way of romanticizing times that you'd hated living in. When you noticed the blinds moving in the house next door and a couple of concerned eyes on you, you waved awkwardly in their direction and put the car in drive to head out. You hadn't gotten to sit for as long as you planned, but you were excited to see Drew. And anyway, it was getting harder to brush off the flashbacks of you and your long-time ex boyfriend sneaking in or out of that house. You shook the thoughts away, and was successful in doing so until you passed the town theater. It was closed now, all boarded up and graffitied... but that wasn't how you remembered it. There was no fighting off this memory.


11 years ago

    "Just breathe," Drew attempted to calm you as she helped you prep for your first official date. "You guys have been together for three years and hang out all the time. It's just Jacob."

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