Best For Last || Jacob Elordi AU

over again

      Your inner teens clawed their way to the surface, the parts of yourselves that were still head over heels for each other, despite everything. There was a wordless agreement then, a temporary halt in all the emotional turmoil these past few days had brought. His eyes darted back and forth between yours desperately, and you knew if you denied him of this it would hurt him more than you'd ever want to. Not that knowing that was even necessary, you wanted this without a shadow of a doubt; you hoped your softened expression conveyed that well enough.

"One last dance," Jacob's hand raised, palm up, and he added, "For closure?"

You placed your hand delicately in his, and he flashed a gracious smile that made your heart flutter before leading you to the dance floor. You focused on your own feet as you walked, since your dress was slightly too long and if you didn't pay mind to it you'd surely trip. A few steps from where you two would stand, you looked up at Jacob, and he glanced back over his shoulder to offer a tiny reassuring smile, one dimple visible. When he stopped and turned to face you, you felt another pair of eyes on you, and looked over to see Dante nodding over at both of you, giving an approving thumbs up. You shook your head at him with a bashful grin and wondered how much deeper he thought this was than it actually was.

Jacob's hand was suddenly on your lower back for the second time tonight, and he pulled you so close to him that your faces were only inches apart already. You looked up into those familiar dark eyes, the same ones you'd spend years gazing into and fawning over. A large part of you still wanted to. His hands came to rest on either side of your waist, lower than a regular friend's would, but not pushing the limits of your comfort, and your own hands draped over his shoulders.

♪ And now we're standing face to face, isn't this world a crazy place? Just when I thought our chance had passed, you go and save the best for last ♪

"I saw you up at the altar," he spoke first, and you met his gaze. "Your eyes full of tears."

You lazily shrugged and looked off to the side, "Lots of people cry at weddings."

"Right," he breathed amusedly, "and someone who doesn't know you might believe that's all it  was."

You looked at him then as the two of you swayed, the music filling the air around you making it feel even more like you were in a movie scene. You feared for a second what might happen if you were honest with him, told him every thought that crossed your mind while you two had stood up there. How it was about him, and wondering what it'd have looked like if you'd made it, and you guys were the ones saying I do.

"It's..." you searched for the right words. "Pointless. Just daydreams and what ifs."

"I for one love daydreams and what ifs," he said playfully. "Especially when they involve you."

You rolled your eyes affectionately at him and tilted your head to the side, weighing your options here. Finally, reason broke through that you two may very well never see each other again after this trip, so whatever happened here wouldn't matter in only a couple days.

"I just had this, flash of what it might've been like for it to have been us... in Dante and Arya's situation."

You guys' slow dancing rhythm stuttered slightly, as Jacob listened and understood what you said and had a slight physical reaction at the thought.

"I-It's dumb I know," you waved your hand over his shoulder without your wrist breaking contact. "Weird, at the very least."

"It's not dumb or weird," he spoke abruptly. "It might be weird that I was thinking the same thing. And that you looked over at me and smiled right as I was."

You took in a deep breath through your nose and released it seconds later in rueful chuckle, and then, "I'm really sorry."

"What do you possibly have to be sorry for?"

"I just said I didn't want to lead you on," you admitted, referencing your car conversation. And your more than friendly morning together. "I don't know what it is. I'm usually pretty strong-willed and disciplined, you know? But when it comes to you I just... lose all foresight. I can only see the short-term, the right now. When I want your attention, I seek it. When I want to see your smile, I do my best to make you laugh. I tell you my daydreams of us getting married. I'm slow dancing with you right now despite only having friendship to offer. But now," you swallowed hard and looked to the floor again. "I don't know if I can even handle that."

"Y/N," he replied, removing his hand from your waist only to tilt your chin up with his index finger. "All I want is for you to be happy. I love to hear that sometimes you want to see my smile, and I love laughing with you and dancing with you. If those are things you want, have them. I still don't have any expectations. Even after what we did last night, it doesn't mean you belong to me or owe me anything."

I do belong to you, echoed in your mind. I always have; and fear I always will.

"You know, I was wrong when I said I still love you," Jacob continued, and your brows instantly came together over your wide eyes. "You're not the same person you were when we were together. I mean, in some ways you are, but now, you're more sure of yourself-- you stand up for yourself. You don't need anyone or anything to validate you or your decisions. The confidence you should've had for years is finally yours. You're considerate, even if people don't deserve it. You're effortlessly funny, and beyond beautiful. You've been through an unbearable amount of shit, and you're still the light in every room you walk into. You're... everything. So," his throat bobbed faintly. "I don't still love you: I love you all over again."

A tear rolled down your cheek as you looked up at him through your lashes, blinking rapidly. Without a second thought, you lifted yourself on your toes to connect your lips to his. He fervently obliged and wrapped his arms so tightly around you that you two pressed flat against each other. Your hands found each other and clasped behind his neck, pulling him impossibly closer. You were still wrapped up in everything he'd just said, how kind and doting and genuine his voice was whenever he spoke about you. The you he'd known when you guys were younger was mostly gone, replaced by who you were today-- and he'd fallen for her too.

From nowhere, maybe only memory, you got a taste of spearmint. This moment so closely resembled your last goodbye in the parking lot all those years ago. Tears wet your lashes and cheeks as you and Jacob kissed, just as they had back then, and there was no denying this goodbye would be, in a new way, just as painful as the last.