Best For Last || Jacob Elordi AU

gone

       The two of you stayed there in each other's arms long after the song ended and couples had dispersed, and well into another upbeat song. With your foreheads pressed together and your eyes shut, it didn't matter even if people were staring at you, because you wouldn't see it, and wouldn't care even if you could. You were both exactly where you wanted to be in this moment. You guys shuffled to the side slightly, only to make room for people who wanted to dance, but still, you stayed together.

You kissed again and again. He held your face and ran his thumb over your cheek, every touch delicate but meaningful. You wanted to melt where you stood, and not worry about real life and responsibilities anymore. Like going back to Michigan, and leaving everyone and everything you loved, again... and reminding yourself that this wasn't some Disney movie, sometimes things don't work out, and that's just that. You would always be grateful for the time you and Jacob had together, but this was it. This was all it could be.

Very reluctantly, after an indiscernible amount of time, you got a hold of yourselves. You both let your arms drop back to your own sides, and took a couple steps backward from each other. With watery eyes and a faint frown, Jacob thanked you for giving him one last dance, and told you he'd leave you alone. Neither of you could handle being friends for different reasons: he would have all of you or none of you, and your reason was knowing that your desire for him would grow by the day whether you were states away or not-- and longing for someone so far away was a whole 'nother kind of torture. The last thing he said to you, was that you deserved happiness, and he wanted that for you even if he couldn't be the reason for it.

You were glad Arya and Dante were well distracted for the rest of their wedding instead of noticing your weak attempt at hiding your anguish after Jacob walked away.

//

It was like you two were those strangers from the beginning of the trip again. Hours and hours later, after the newlyweds had made their grand exit and their families started leaving little by little, the wedding party started cleaning up whatever you guys could. Table cloths folded, the archway taken down and stored, chairs put away, floors swept and a few trashcans taken out. The entire time, neither of you acknowledged the other once. Later, you were swirling a glass of champagne -- disgusting, but you had to get your mind somewhere besides Jacob -- when Sid's voice startled you.

"So?" he beamed. "You and Jake again, huh?"

There went that. You pursed your lips and willed any forming tears away, and shook your head. Sid's smile fell.

"What do you mean? Dante said..." he pointed backward with his thumb but trailed off. "I mean I saw you guys dancing, and kissing like, a million times."

Despite your misery, a chuckle fell from your lips, but your gaze was fixed on the ground, "That we did, but," you threw your head back to finish off your drink in one large gulp. "That was goodbye."

Sid's coffee colored eyes looked over your face, and he must've quickly realized it wasn't something you wanted to discuss further. His expression softened and he said, "I'm sorry, Y/N."
You nodded, the only response you felt capable of without coming apart. He patted your shoulder and said, "You'll get through this; I know cause you've done it before."

You blew a breath through your nose and looked up at him, "Thanks Sid."

With one last guarantee that he'd lend an ear should you need to talk, he was off to Sabrina's side again. Once you were alone again, you found where your empty glass was to go, and though you knew you shouldn't, scanned the room for Jacob. You found Lea, who was taking charge of cleanup crew, Jaxon, who was still dancing the night away in less clothes than he'd come in, and Sid swooning over Sabrina in the mini dress she'd changed into after the ceremony. But no Jacob, not anywhere. And at the end of the night, when it was time for the wedding party to get into the van and go back to the AirBNB, he was nowhere to be seen.

You wanted so badly to know what was going on, why nobody else was questioning it, but you didn't want to look obsessed by asking someone and being the only one concerned. As if she were a mind reader, Sabrina plopped down next to you and said, "He won't be there."

You turned to her, your confusion evident, "Wha-? What do you mean?"

She shrugged, "He told Jaxon he'd get his own place tonight. Jax asked him if something happened, like if someone in the house upset him, and he said no, but..." She looked you up and down with a pitiful glance. "He won't be there tonight, or tomorrow on our way to the airport."

"Do you... think I'll see him there?" You couldn't bother with others' perception of you anymore, or not looking like you cared about him. Because you did. Even someone as seemingly oblivious as Sabrina could tell that much, so there was no need to pretend any longer.

"I think the flights are guy and girl separated, since Dante covered his guys and Arya's parents covered the girls," she spoke sympathetically. "So, same airport, yes, but we'll be there at different times from the guys. Sorry, Y/N."

You were so sick of hearing sorry. You wouldn't take it out on the ones saying it to you, though, as they were only being as helpful as they could.

"Did he really leave without telling you goodbye?" she asked.

You took a deep breath and replied, "No, I guess not. We did say goodbye, I guess I just... wasn't as ready as he was."

She patted the top of your hand and, despite her exaggerated pouty face, it didn't feel condescending. When you all arrived at the AirBNB, Sid put the car in park, and the five of you exhaustedly stumbled toward the massive house you'd stay in for one more night. Inside, you made a beeline for your room, and wanted to cry all over again at the sight of the untouched bed where you and Jacob had laid together only this morning. His bag was truly gone from the foot of the bed, no sign of him having been here at all. You bit your bottom lip to keep it from quivering, and began removing your earrings as you headed for the bathroom.

The glint of a silver chain on the sink caught your eye, and you paused for an instant upon seeing it before rushing over to investigate. On top of a messily hand-written note, was a silver heart-shaped locket, identical to the one you had as a teenager with Jacob's face in it. Your heart skipped a beat as you picked it up and clutched it in your fist. Before you'd open it, you read the note.

i've been holding onto this since i knew i'd see you on this trip. i wasn't sure when to give it to you-- i thought about doing it at the sentient bean, but we already got into heavy subjects and i didn't want to push it. i hope you like it, and it's a comfort when you're upset, because you still twirl your necklace when anxiety hits. i'm sorry for everything y/n. i miss you again already.

You fully expected to see a tiny picture of Jacob in the locket, maybe as some joke, but when you pried the hinge open with your thumb nail, your mother's warm smile greeted you. Your eyes that looked just like hers instantly poured hot tears.