Philophobia - Thorin Oakenshield - English version

Part 16

Days passed slowly, weeks felt like years. The pain did not immediately ease but Terwyn was happy to have a son and to have Frerin back. The latter did everything to see Terwyn happy again even though he himself was still suffering from the loss, he learned not to bottle it up and to share it with Terwyn so that both could heal. Also, Terwyn's bond with Thorin had become much closer again since the fight. He had also been the first to be with her and he too tried to keep her busy as often as possible and even helped raise their son Farryn so that Terwyn and Frerin had a bit more time for each other.

A year after Teylin's death, Terwyn began to fare a little better and was able to come to terms with her loss; she still had enough to fight for.

Frerin too had plenty to think about, soon he would have to go to war again along with his father and brother and the whole army. He did not want to leave Terwyn with their 1-year-old son just yet, but he had no choice.

A week before leaving, Frerin took his princess and son on an evening walk through the city of Dale. There from a lookout they looked down on the city and the mountain behind it.

"Remember you are the most important thing in my life princess, you and Farryn and Teylin! You are my treasures and I love you so much!" The prince had said during which the trio had spent time looking at the stars in each other's arms.

"Whenever you miss me, or if you are scared, come here and I will be here too!" Frerin said at which Terwyn nodded obediently and kissed him. She was scared, terrified, but she would not show this, she had to stay strong. It was only on the day Frerin left that she could not keep herself from crying and kissed him passionately, holding him tightly to herself before she let him leave. With tears running down her cheeks, she watched him disappear on the horizon. Dis quickly wrapped her arms around Terwyn and Kili and Fili took hold of her legs. "It will be all right, it has to be." Dis murmured softly and Terwyn nodded.

As dark clouds hung together over Erebor, Terwyn stared forlornly out of the window, she had been sitting here alone for days now, she was lost in her own kingdom.

Call her a poser but she really did not know how to behave and what to do without Frerin and Thorin, and yes they did often go to war with their father and grandfather but this time Terwyn couldn't help but feel like something was wrong.

This time Thror had stayed home, Dis was pacing anxiously through Erebor waiting for her husband, and Terwyn felt lost in her own room waiting for her dear Frerin. Terwyn had no idea why she was so scared, he had gone to war so many times and always came back safely. She did realise that she had more to lose at the moment, she did not know if her heart would hold up after the loss of her daughter. Then again, the dwarves had never travelled so far before, nor had they ever had to fight such a great battle and certainly not without a king. Other times no one looked forward to going to war this time Terwyn had seen fear in the eyes of dwarves, of course Thrain and his sons Thorin and Frerin never showed their fears but others their gaze said enough. In this battle there would be losses, women would cry again and children would lose their fathers again, now even more than before. Terwyn would not know what to do should she lose Frerin. Frerin was the sweetest and maybe even the funniest dwarf in all of Erebor, he had always put Terwyn at ease and even now with the difficult times they shared he was the one who always managed to calm her down.

He kissed her at the most unexpected moments, gave the sweetest compliments and enjoyed teasing his elder brother along with Terwyn which always got poor Thorin into trouble since he was supposed to be the great example as a future prince and even king. Luckily Thorin had no problem with it in most cases and just let his brother and Terwyn have their way as deranged lovers as he liked to call them. As Terwyn thought back to all the beautiful moments between Frerin and her, a loud thunderclap woke her from her thoughts after which she looked disturbed out of the window where the rain was pouring down as something was approaching from the distance. As Terwyn looked at it more closely she realised it was the army of Erebor, they were back, it was over! Terwyn immediately ran up the corridor and down the stairs towards the throne room already shouting; "They're coming! Our army is back! They're back!"

At the top of the throne room, Thror looked at Terwyn disapprovingly but again said nothing. When Dis too stood beside her and grabbed Terwyn's hand the doors opened, Thrain was the first to enter, not much later Dis' husband entered with some slight injuries after which, of course, she immediately flew around his neck. As Terwyn stood on the lookout for Frerin, more and more wounded came in, with each soldier who entered her heart shrank more and more until she saw Thorin enter as he dragged in a badly wounded soldier.

Although both were covered in blood, Terwyn recognised them immediately "Frerin!" She shouted as she immediately ran towards them and helped Thorin support his brother.

Her icy scream echoed throughout the kingdom so others now looked their way and watched Terwyn and Thorin carefully lay Frerin down while Terwyn put her cloak under his head and looked at his wounds.

"No Frerin! Someone help us!" She pleaded again and again until Thorin grabbed her hands though she pulled them free just as quickly. She had to heal him, she was good with wounds, she might have got that from the elves. But when Dis too came to sit next to Terwyn and she saw both her and Thorin shaking their heads back and forth with tears in their eyes, Terwyn also started crying "Please, he must not die!" She begged.