Philophobia - Thorin Oakenshield - English version

Part 28

They travelled for days more over hills and fields until they ended up in the shadow of the Misty Mountains. To the dwarves, however, the Misty Mountains did not feel like a threat; on the contrary, many immediately seemed to make plans to live in them and fantasised about how genius it would be if the entire mountain range was taken by dwarves from all the different realms.

They may have just suffered great losses at the hands of orcs taking Moria further down the Misty Mountains. But still a certain hope remained alive in which Moria could once again belong to the dwarves and in which one could take much more than a small piece of the mountain range. Thorin dared to dream about this himself and admitted it would be a smart move, the Misty Mountains literally split Middle Earth in two. When a dwarf army fully occupied this mountain range, they would have complete control over both halves of Middle Earth.

They walked for days in the shadow of the mountain range, looking for passages or entrances in the mountain in order to put together a plan to possibly summon another army and take the mountain range.

As a result, the group's progress was slow and winter was also slowly making its appearance. Thus, the group decided to cross the mountain range and look for entrances more at the top on the other side. However, just before the party reached the High Pass to pass through the mountain range, they were surprised by a group of Orcs who were just crossing the mountain pass. Although the dwarves were still trying to get away quietly, the Orcs had apparently smelt them from metres away and so ran towards them as if they were starving an craved dwarf meat.

Thorin immediately gave the order to get into defensive position.

"Terwyn at the back!" He warned, of course Terwyn did not agree.

"I can fight!" Answered this one indignantly.

"I don't want you to get hurt, at the back!" Warned Thorin again with angry undertones that made Terwyn stand back a bit more anyway before the first orks reached them.

The fight broke loose with loud screams and the deafening sound of swords slashing against each other.

The dwarves were clearly better at fighting than the orks, but the dwarves were outnumbered.

Terwyn tried not to pay attention to the others around her or the fact that they were outnumbered and tried as hard as she could to concentrate only on herself and the orks coming at her.

This was her first real fight, she really wanted to prove her worth now. Frerin had trained her for this, she had to make him proud! With her far too heavy sword, she slammed one orc after another into the ground. It took her an enormous amount of effort to wield the dwarven sword she brought with her from the Iron Hills correctly, but now she was not allowed to make any mistakes. Just as she reached Thorin and was fighting side by side with him, she saw Bolg, Azog's son, approaching.

"You can't be serious!" Hissed Thorin and Terwyn too felt a surge of anger wash over her, the damage this ork had already done to the family was inexcusable.

Little by little, the ork approached and Terwyn felt her blood boiling, she was trembling on her legs and had to restrain herself from storming towards the ork on her own.

"Well who we find here, Thorin Oakenshield! Still looking for a home?" Bolg scoffed, causing Thorin to run at the orc with a loud shout in which Terwyn too did not wait long and join in on the attack.

Side by side they attacked Bolg. However, the latter easily dodged their blows and fended them off with his sword as if it were child's play. Terwyn heard Bolg laughing at their attempts to make him a head shorter and it infuriated her. So in one swift move, she dismounted from the ground and ran up past a few rocks to leap towards Bolg's face with the point of her sword pointed forward. Bolg who saw this too late was still able to fend off but got the sword in his shoulder. An inhuman cry escaped from his mouth after which he grabbed Terwyn with his free hand and pulled her away, throwing her to the ground.

Terwyn who barely felt any pain immediately stood up again and turned furiously back to Bolg who was now looking at Terwyn in amazement.

"Well look at that, we have a half-breed here!" Laughed Bolg suddenly making time seem to stand still.

Thorin looked bewildered at Terwyn as the latter looked up at Bolg, confused.

"What?" She hissed upset.

"You belong with us! Look at you, your red eyes, the scars and drab complexion, your way of moving, you are of that kind of outcast we use to preserve Moria. Half dwarf, half ork! Laughed Bolg causing Terwyn to look at him in disbelief and take a step back as she looked at her hands and arms which indeed seemed to have claws rather than nails appearing on them and which also had deep red welts of scars on them.

"No!" She hissed.

"What is happening to me?" A cry left her lips, suddenly she barely recognized her own deep voice.

"It cannot be! You're lying!" She exclaimed but Bolg laughed.

"You know it's true! You knew all along that you were different! You're just a piece of trash, rejected by a dwarf woman we used as a slave!" He grinned further.

Terwyn felt a shiver creep over her at his words. She was different, always had been. There was a reason why Thror had always looked at her with disgust, why he locked her in a dark room when she threw a tantrum. There had to be a reason why she was disowned and to this day continued to have such an urge to explore the world, never having enough of the home she was given.

Frightened, she looked around because of this she saw Thorin looking down at her in disgust.

"So that's what those elves wanted to hide from us!" He now hissed after which Terwyn shook her head wildly. "No Thorin! No don't believe it!" She tried but his eyes looked at her murderously. Just as Terwyn thought he would rather attack her than Bolg she saw her sword lying a little further away. In one swift movement, she rolled under Bolg grabbed the sword and used the rock wall again to leap into the group of orcs surrounding the dwarves.

As if fighting would prove that she did belong to the dwarves, she knocked down several orks in one powerful move. In her frenzy, she barely noticed how Bolg smilingly called back his army and disappeared. Only when every orc near her was gone or bleeding in the earth, Terwyn collapsed. All the built-up tension and rage seemed to be sucked out of her body until nothing remained and she looked around in defeat and disbelief. She felt the gazes of the dwarves burning on her, the envy, anger and pain, she deserved, but suddenly she felt so small and afraid.

"You!" Hissed Thorin who now came running towards the group. Terwyn immediately took a few steps back.

"You trickster! You filth!" Shouted the dwarf making Terwyn feel smaller and smaller, never had she known Thorin to be angry with her. Nor had he ever had a reason to be until now. She was a dirty bastard, she should have died at birth, who had kept her alive herself, how dare they take her to Thror!

"I didn't know, I didn't want this!" Terwyn tried to exclaim softly but Thorin's eyes shot fire.

"My whole family was wiped out by dirty orcs and all this time you were living among us as an orc!" He exclaimed.

"Half ork, I didn't want this! I'm still Terwyn!' Tried the girl but now the other dwarves too seemed to take their distance.

"Disappear, you've fooled us for years!" Shouted Thorin. "But you are all I have, you are my family, I would never harm you! Thorin please, think? All those nights we spent together talking, healing each other's wounds? Please I know you care for me, you have to hold onto that!" She still tried but Thorin raised his sword.

"Thror was right, you are a curse! Go away! How could I have ever trusted you? How could you infiltrate our family like that and take my brother? How dare you speak of the time we spent together, as if anything that happened between us still means something? I don't want to see you again. You will never be part of this family again! Disappear!" He shouted as he stepped towards her with his sword in hand. His eyes radiated pure anger, but also an emotion Terwyn did not fully understand. Tears burned in his eyes that made her want so badly to shout at him that she was still the Terwyn who saw him as a great hero, the Terwyn who waited for him after the battle in Moria, who cared for him, hunted for food with him, loved him at times when he loathed himself. She realised, however, that none of those arguments would save her now. She shuddered at Thorin's cold stare, so she quickly grabbed her sword and set off running towards the mountain pass.

She kept walking until she saw black spots in front of her and fell to the ground with a crash.