Drifted Time

17

Only like 2 weeks late but here!

Monday, April 19, 2021

Savannah's Pov:

Oh shit.

That's the only thing I could think of, one of the worst things possible just happened to me and I can't manage to utter an actual word. Everyone was just staring at Dad and I like we were a different species.

Mom was the first one to speak up, "Sav, Chris. A word?" A tilted her head towards the guest room that was downstairs. She can walk perfectly fine, it's just her arms that she needs to look out for. Dad and I didn't argue at all, we just followed right behind her.

"What the hell was the whole thing about?" She practically growled, taking both Dad and I by surprise. "It was just a small conversation that got out of hand." Dad explained, calmly. I guess that's a way to shortly sum it up.

"Whatever problems you two have with each other you can squash it. We all heard the whole thing, especially everything about Scarlett." Mom spoke, aggressively. I knew she was aiming the last part at me being that she started staring at me. I just rolled my eyes.

"Are you serious? You have an attitude? If anyone should have an attitude it should Scarlett, she thought you two were finally getting somewhere and we walked in on that." Mom added, honestly there was a small truth to what she was saying but I would never in hell tell her that. "How did that whole conversation even start?" She questioned, Dad and I went quiet.

"Nothing? Either way, if you tell me or not, somebody needs to apologize to Scarlett." She stated, looking back and forth at dad and I. "Not it," We said at the same time, Mom glared at us, "Are you serious? How old are you two? Since you want to act like children you both can do it." She pointed toward the door for us to exit.

I swung the door open to find MK and Ashley with their ears against the now air, "Honestly, do any of you ever grow up?" Mom groaned, walking out the room with dad following behind her. "Yeah guys, grow up." I mocked, sticking my tongue out at them.

"We wanted to hear the drama. There's something always going on with y'all." Ashley shrugged, walking herself to the living room with everyone else. Leaving me with MK. "So, now that the idiot is gone. How do you actually feel about all this?" She asked, this honestly wasn't a very good spot to talk about everything since it was literally in the middle of the hallway but it's fine.

"Honestly? Everything's so overwhelming. Everything that happened with Scarlett and Mom was so stressful, I know Mom couldn't stop it but with Scarlett everything feels so different and out of place. I know it sounds stupid but I don't know if I could ever make my way back to her." I whispered, I could feel my sadness being replaced with anger.

"That doesn't sound stupid, Sav. It sounds like a reaction to a shitty situation. I understand how everything is overwhelming, your mom and dad just want to help you but they can't do that if you won't talk to them." MK consoled me, I didn't know whether to be angry or cry at her words. I know Mom and Dad will try to get me to go back to therapy after everything that happened but I just can't see myself going back again.

All I could do was sigh at her words. "If I tell them they're going to take the blame for how I feel. I don't want them to feel like this is their fault but I also don't want them to send me to therapy again." This whole situation feels like a movie I can never escape.

"Let's go in the living room with the others, yeah?" She asked, holding her hand out for me to grab. At some point we ended up on the floor, I don't know when or how but apparently we did. I took her hand and we walked into the living room, Dad and Scarlett were also approaching the living room.

Scarlett looked happier than earlier but she still didn't look the happiest. Does that make sense? "Savannah, can I talk to you?" Her raspy yet soft voice spoke up, I think MK felt me tense up because she squeezed my hand, letting me know it was alright. I nodded my head and followed Scarlett out the living room, she stopped walking once we got into a random hallway in the house.

What is with these people and talking in hallways?

"Your dad explained everything to me, I know you guys were arguing but I can't help but ask why you feel those things about my family and I?" She asked, her voice was full of a bit of anger and concern. "Why would I say those things about you and your family? Are the things I said not true?" I scoffed, she can't be serious right now.

'My family and I.'

"Yes, I'm serious Savannah. I came here to talk and bond with you not to be shut down before I even get a conversation out of you. You said I wasn't your mother, I birthed you. You said Rose and Cosmo are 'barely' your siblings yet you share half of your DNA with them, you said Colin isn't your step father and he's always tried to be nice to you." She said, she was getting more upset by the second.

"You birthed me but you were never there. We share the same DNA but we're still so different, he's tried to be nice to me but knows nothing about me. So excuse me Scarlett if I don't say the happiest things about you are your family." I laughed, that seemed to anger her. Her face started to turn red along with a vein popping out the side of her head.

"I was never there so I could be better for you. Rose and Cosmo are just as much part of me as they are part of you, what makes them so different? Colin knows nothing about you because you won't let him know anything about you!" Her voice raised an octave, taking me by surprise.

Just keep calm and quiet.

In and out.

In and out.

"No Scarlett, you weren't there so you could be better for your job. Rose, Cosmo, and I have lived two completely different lives. Colin doesn't need to know anything about me, he's not my father and he never will be." I argued, my voice was still quiet which I think annoyed Scarlett further. "Oh come on, what makes your life so much different from Rose and Cosmo? Not much, you're both the kids of celebrities, what can be so hard about that? Colin is not your father, you may not like him but you will respect him." She said, getting closer and closer to my face.

"That just proves it, you know nothing about me or my life. Don't compare the lives of us when you haven't bared a thought about my life. You say 'you will respect him', isn't that what I've been doing already? Let's be honest here, you don't give a shit about what goes on in my life. You only care about having me in yours." I answered, at this point we were both huffing and puffing.

I can't believe this is what my life has come to in the past couple months, I don't even remember the last time I bore a thought of Scarlett before that time on set. She was an irrelevant character then, and she's an irrelevant character now.

"Why can't you just be happy and accept that I'm back? I just want to know my daughter, we can be a family again." She said, sadness now lacing her voice. I could see the tears building up in her eyes on the verge of spilling. She got closer to me and put my hands in hers. Her hands were now shaking, we're way too close.

"If this is what happiness feels like, I don't want to be in your family." I whispered, taking my hands out of hers and walking to my room. I heard distant yelling but paid it no mind.

I sat at my desk looking through the many papers and journals I had from my childhood. Then, I found it, my childhood 'bucket list.'

"Savvy's Bucket List." was written across the front of the journal. As a kid I believed I could do anything or have anything if I just waited. Mom always told me that I had a great mindset for a child but I always thought every child thought that way.

I guess not though, having a great mindset as a kid developed me into who I am now. A teenager with a bunch of mental health problems and trauma. For some reason Scarlett seems to think my life has been nothing but sunshine and rainbows.

That just shows me she never really did care, I've had many friends with parents who left them and came back but their parents always checked in and made notes about their lives. Not Scarlett though, Scarlett Johansson, Hollywood Actress, A perfect mother (not), and a perfect wife.

It's funny to think back on it now, Lizzie's almost everything Scarlett is. Elizabeth Olsen, Hollywood Actress, Perfect Mother, and maybe one day a perfect wife.