𝐓𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 | 𝑺.𝑺𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒛𝒖𝒈𝒂𝒘𝒂

𝟏𝟗 | 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐅𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐬

~*~

Feels like deja vu all over again.......

The incense burner rests upon the grave, the smoke snaking up into the sky with a soft scent that didn't reek of death. Flowers graced at the base of the rough stone, engraved with her name upon it. I couldn't get over the fact that her, of all people would fall at the hands of an Upper Moon. Maybe I'm too naive to see the reality of an Upper Moons strength, but all I knew she put up a fight.

Kanae Kocho........

Kneeling down after someone said their prayers, I place the Iris' down carefully and neatly. Lighting a stick myself, a thin trail of smoke flows in the air above me. My hands rest together in a small prayer wishing her arrival safely to the heavens, as the ache in my chest hasn't left. It's been at least three days since her death, and I know both Shinobu and Ryuji aren't taking her death very well. 

Pushing myself to my feet opening my eyes, I back away allowing anyone to have a moment with her.

"She left too soon........" my voice slightly cracks, my throat straining in result to holding back the tears that threaten to spill. "........just why?" my voice barely a whisper, with a slight strain in my plead. Swallowing away my anger, all I felt was more frustration towards the demons. No matter how many die, no matter how many friends you make......it all ends up with a heart being broken.

Ryuji soon came over brushing his shoulder abruptly against mine, before kneeling down placing some flowers. Kissing his hand, he presses it against the headstone of the grave with a different kind of presence. He was angry, pissed off, and he was trying to not make a scene right now during the funeral. His large body covered my view of her grave, and the silence was screaming out with pain and anger.

"I'm sorry....." He whispers beneath his shaky breath, before praying for a moment.

Glancing over my shoulder I saw Shinobu with little Kanao taking her leave, causing my feet to start walking towards her by instinct. Once out of earshot to the funeral, I place a warm hand upon her shoulder comfortingly. "You going so soon?"

"I can't stand it here....." She utters beneath her breath, her hand gripping Kanao's hand firmly as if worried to lose her too. "It was too fast.......too late...." 

She was still vulnerable but slowly she was slipping away from herself, and began smiling even if she never meant it. We all end up losing someone, and I know it all too well. I've been there, Sanemi has been there, Kumeno even lost his own brother and now he's with him. We all end up losing someone close, and begin thinking your alone. When in reality there are others, that do genuinely care about you.

"It's not your fault," my hand grips her shoulder firmly, but not enough to give her discomfort. Only assurance. "It was an upper moon, what could anyone do? The encounter was sudden........at least she wasn't devoured."

Shinobu nods in agreement, "I guess......she can have her peace," before her eyes finally meet mine. "How......do you do it? I've learned your history by Ryuji, that your entire was massacred in a single night...........and later lost your other older brother. How does one become strong? To ignore it all that pain...?"

This was unlike her to ask me for wisdom, let alone for advice without having her pride this time.

"I don't know myself," my eyes trail back to the funeral, that resumes quietly. "Every demon I kill, brings me assurance that I'm one step ahead. I don't know what for, but I take each day one step at a time........it sounds impossible....But I know it's what gives me somewhat security. Everyone is different, but for you.........help Kanao grow. Forget about working at the butterfly mansion, it would put too much press--"