𝐓𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 | 𝑺.𝑺𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒛𝒖𝒈𝒂𝒘𝒂

𝟐𝟓 | 𝐑𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐎𝐟 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧

~*~

I failed........yet again.......

Slowly the ringing died down and my vision was somewhat clear, trying to push myself up to my knees. Even with little strength, it only made it harder to push forward. Registering what had happened, agonising pain shot through my ribs causing myself to grimace. Clutching my torso, I could feel the warmth of blood stain my fingertips. Then my eyes widen in realisation, before snapping my head in the direction to where Ryuji laid.

"R-Ryuji!!"

Trying yet again to pick myself up, my legs give out as the air to knock from my lungs. Given to the injuries I've sustained, i couldn't even tell what I've broken or torn. 

Desperately grinding my teeth bearing through the pain, I manage to drag myself towards his body. It wasn't moving and blood pools beneath him continuously, painting the snow in a bloody red sea. My fingertips cold to the touch cover my mouth, while I let out shaky gasps in horror by the amount of damage he was inflicted upon. His eyes that gaze up to the sky were hollow, with only a little sign of life.

"C-Come on....please....."

Pressing my index and middle finger beneath his ear for a pulse, "A faint heart beat.....just hang on, please?--" murmuring to myself, before my throat grows dry. 

Coughing harshly to the other side, I cover my mouth only to feel a warm liquid spill in the palm of hand. Shit........I'm not okay.......

"Hayami........listen....." his voice breaks the silence, realising how thin-sounding he was. His head rolls slightly to look into my eyes, "......I don't think, I'm gonna make it....." before coughing harshly, choking on his own blood. Quickly I help him tilt to his side to clear out his lungs, as he throws up blood.

"Don't.......don't say that," I shook my head, tears stinging the corners of my eyes. "The kakushi.......nami, your crow kai has gone to fetch aid n-now!"

He inhales sharply while I help him sit up, but his body had no strength to accompany my support. He was indeed completely immobile, making me lie him back down carefully and comfortable realising he was still bleeding. My hands fumble before applying some pressure, refusing to believe this was his end. Blood seeps through my fingers, hearing the squelching of blood beneath my hand.

"...........I......regret, pushing you away," his voice strains, with a shallow exhale. His eyes azure eyes meets mine, tears welling up. "I.........know, that putting Kanae first before us..........wasn't right........I....was selfish--"

Shaking my head in refusal; my hair messily covers my eyes with strands soaked in red.

"SHUTUP!!!!!" I cry out, only causing my body to throb in pain along with fear. My shoulders shook, trying to applying pressure his deep chest wound. "I don't care! Yes you were a selfish bastard! You left me! So what?!.........you're still my damn brother!"

He dryly chuckles, "You're so naive......Hayami....." he admits, hoarsely. "....always wanting to comfort others...........than yourself. To please everyone........especially father. I'll admit, he was right on one thing........."

"P-Please don't say it........?" my lips quiver, before a heavy sob slips from my lips. I didn't want to hear it from him directly, despite knowing exactly what he was gonna say.

".........you're still weak," He answers, but a pause hangs in the air for a moment. My stomach churns painfully physically and emotionally, like someone just stabbed me multiple times repetively. "So please, give up being a slayer........."

My breath hitches in response while my hand applying pressure, weakens for a second. 

So after everything we've done today, after the bullshit we've just been through; he still thinks I'm only a hindrance. That I was merely just a liability to master, to Sanemi, to everyone within the demon slayer corps. This made me furious as he dying wishing for me, and I refused to give it all up in seconds. I'm not even sure I'm gonna survive myself, judging by how severe my wounds were.