•Until now• -Heartstopper Fanfic-

Part 13

TRIGGER WARNINGSSSSS:
Mentions of self harm!!!

Nicks pov:

"Like when you were a kid and fell?" I question him because I'm confused what he means by scars? "No not like that" he reply's. I put a questioned look on my face "what to you mean then" he takes a deep breath and looks to the bathroom floor. "On my wrists" he says refusing to my eye contact. He wouldn't right? "You don't mean on purpose right.. you're not harming yourself right" he doesn't reply and just stares at the floor. I know he is I just don't want to believe it. I thought he was happy. I thought I knew him better than anyone. I could've stopped him. I could have made him happy. "W-what  I'm so sorry I could've done something to prevent it" I say start to cry. But I wipe away my tears. I hate looking weak in-front of people. "No Nick it's not your fault, I used to do it all the time in high school but I don't do it that much anymore I'm fine" I knew he had anorexia but this hurts so much more than that. "Why did you do it, why do you do it" Charlie takes another deep breath. I know it's hard for him but I want to know everything so I know how to comfort him and help him. "I don't know... I guess it's a distraction from the pain, sadness is a form of pain as it is and when it's too much to handle I cut. It's like it gives you a new form of pain to stop the suffering feeling" I break. I start to sob into Charlie's shoulder just keeping it there and not pulling it away.

Charlie's pov:

Maybe I should've told him. Now he is just going to look at me differently. Like I'm fragile. I've never opened my feelings up to someone like that, said what I was exactly thinking. I think he is too worried for nothing. I haven't done it for months. I just want to keep saying what's on my mind so I will. "Nick.. I love you" he finally lifts his head up and looks at me. "You don't have to say it back if you don't want to. I know its soon but I've loved you forever and it is like the perfect time I think. But if you don't feel like that you don't have to-" he puts his finger over my mouth. "I love you too" we both laugh and hug again.  He wraps his arms around me and picks me up off of the bathroom counter and carries me into our dorm room. He sets me down on his bed and lays beside me. I think I'm ready.

Authors note:
Hey guys. I might quit writing. My views have just gone down and down. I love writing for my readers but it feels pointless if only 11 of you are reading them. But if you really don't want me to I'm happy to keep writing. So could you please please please comment if you want me to keep writing. I love you my 11 readers.

Words- 537