Philophobia - Thorin Oakenshield - English version

Part 20

From there, they moved further south. The dwarf people deliberately avoided the forests of the Green Wood. King Thranduil had betrayed them once, this one would have no chance to make their lives miserable a second time.

They moved on through human villages, lingered everywhere for a while to replenish their supplies or earn some extra money. More and more, Thror grew on the idea that they had to return to the mountain no matter how impossible. Thrain kept trying to talk him out of this, this until the moment Thror put his mind on something else. Moria, the settlement where it all began for Durin's people. Slowly but surely, the dwarves here were getting closer and closer.

They walked around the Greenwood across the open plains of Gondor. The people had regained hope, their eyes already shining more. They walked with an almost proud stride towards their goal. As the mountain range approached, Thror, Thrain, Thorin and their councillors met more and more often to make plans on how they would enter Moria. The latest news they got about Moria was that it had been taken by orcs. They could not immediately take the women and children inside with the risk that the orcs were still there and would start a massacre.

Thorin had to admit that he was not a fan of the idea of going into a mountain range that was potentially overrun with orcs. The people had suffered off enough in recent weeks, they had been wandering for so long that they had already lost much of their usual strength. It was too great a risk according to the prince, but what did he have to say about it? He was far from being king and still had a lot to learn! Somehow he would rather die fighting than begging for money in a human village. So he would have to take a risk.

Far too soon, the dwarves reached the Misty Mountains and with them the entrance to Moria. Thorin did not feel good about the whole plan to take Moria. It once was a beautiful kingdom, but that was long before it was taken over by orcs. As Thorin saw it, it should be crawling with orcs in there by now. The dwarven army was weak, they had already suffered too many losses and had to travel too much in a short time to fight now against an army of orcs possibly up to ten times larger than themselves.

Yet Thorin did not put his thoughts to words. He was ashamed of it himself, looking at his grandfather and seeing the glint in his eyes he envied him. Why couldn't he have so much fire in him, surely he also wanted his life back as a prince? So why didn't he show as much courage as his father and grandfather? Even the army seemed unafraid. While everyone was getting ready for the attack, Thorin walked around the tent camp feeling lost. He had already put on his chainmail and armour, although he had gone out before and then walked around for days with the chainmail and armour, everything felt heavy now. It felt like ten men were tugging at his shoulders to run him into the ground.

How was he supposed to fight when he could barely even wear his armour?

"Thorin." He heard someone call him, but he was so absorbed in his thoughts that it didn't seem to get through to him until someone grabbed his arm.

"Thorin!" It was Terwyn who grabbed him.

"You look worried what's wrong?" She asked with frightened undertone. Thorin sighed and looked around at all the dwarves who seemed to be carelessly getting ready for battle.

"We are walking into a trap." He muttered, with Terwyn looking at him in confusion.

"Moria was overrun by orcs, thousands probably, look at our army Terry. We have become weak!" Hummed the prince. Terwyn looked around briefly.

"Stop the attack then." She spoke as if that was so easy.

"I can't do that! No one would listen, why am I even talking about this. I am the prince Terwyn. I am not crawling into a shell for some orcs!" Growled Thorin.

"These are not just some orcs! Let your pride go and speak while you still can!" She desperately begged.

Thorin shook his head lowering his gaze.

"I am sorry, but that is not a possibility, our people deserve a home and we all belong to fight for that."

"Then let me fight with you, you can use all the help you can get." The dwarf girl said. Thorin looked at her with anger at those words.

"No way, you and Dis take care of the women and children who stay here and then you take care of the wounded who return! Know your place Terwyn!" He spoke harshly. For a moment Terwyn took a step back, but still looked up at Thorin who remained looking somewhat fragile and unsure.

"Please come back dear prince." Terwyn pleaded as she ran closer wrapping her arms around Thorin's neck to hug him tight. The prince was momentarily startled by her sudden action and remained somewhat shaky before he also held her tightly.

"I can't promise anything, but may Durin protect our people." He said softly with the two still holding each other for a moment.

"Thorin! Come along, it's time!" Both suddenly heard. Terwyn quickly took a few steps back and bowed her head to King Thror and Thrain who now stepped towards them. 

"Here your helmet!" Said Thrain to his son, Thorin accepted it with less enthusiasm. He bridged those few metres between him and Terwyn one last time to press a kiss to her forehead. 

"If this is the last time I speak to you. Then know that I am eternally grateful to have known you Terwyn. Be safe, go to the Blue Mountains or Iron Hills and be happy. Including you in our family is still a moment I am most proud of in my entire life to this day." Spoke Thorin with his loving smile and warm gaze. Terwyn felt tears stinging her eyes, but finally nodded as she answered his smile.

"Thank you my prince." She mumbled and bowed her head so Thorin did not see her tears.

"Come!" Thror then repeated. Thorin put on his helmet and made preparations to walk away. However, Terwyn still quickly grabbed his hand. "May Durin protect you." Spoke she before Thorin gave her another smile and ran after his father and grandfather ready to lead the army to Moria.

He didn't look back, which was for the better as Terwyn did not want him to see the upcoming tears. She shivered thinking back of Thorin's words "The army is weak." He had to be wrong, they had to be victorious, he had to come back. This couldn't be the last time she'd see his beautiful smile. As Terwyn watched them fearfully, she watched Farin give Dis one last kiss and briefly embrace his sons before he left. Fili and Kili waved goodbye to their father as Dis ran towards him one last time and pressed a kiss to his lips. With a smile, Farin too walked into battle. Many still had no idea what awaited them, and maybe it was for the best!